Love or friendship?
by writereadlive
Summary: Alec, Will and Jace have been best friends forever. Magnus is the new kid at school. What happens when two of the friends start to fall for the same guy? Will their friendship survive, or will they have to go their separate ways?
1. Chapter 1- Friendship

Chapter 1: Friendship

 **A/N** \- Hey guys! This is my first fanfiction, so if there are any mistakes with the formatting let me know, feedback is welcome! Just to clarify, my use of 'college' refers to the period of school from 16-18 years of age. Alec, Jace, Magnus and Will are therefore 17/18 in this story, as they are in their second year. Izzy will be two years younger than Alec (so 15/16) but i'm going to make her skip a year, so she's in the year below him. I hope you enjoy the story!

 **Disclaimer** : I don't own the characters, they belong to Cassandra Clare.

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In all reality their friendship should not have worked. No one understood it. Jace and Will? That was easy enough to understand. As well as being cousins they both possessed an abundance of self-confidence (some would say arrogance) and charm. They knew exactly how attractive other people found them and they thrived whenever they were the centre of attention. With only two weeks separating the pair, from the moment they had learnt how to walk, they were constantly spreading discord and getting into trouble. Their parents had hoped that it would die down as they got older, but instead their schemes got more creative, in one case almost destroying the science lab at school when they 'accidentally' mixed the wrong chemicals. They were notorious troublemakers, and everyone knew about them. The 'golden boy' with his golden eyes and hair and permanently tanned golden skin and his best friend, the black haired, blue eyed beauty with skin that permanently refused to tan. Wherever they went, hushed whispers and pointed looks would follow. But what most people did not know, or failed to piece together, is that there is a third, equally as important component to this friendship. And it is this individual who some may say does not fit in with the boys just described.

Alexander Lightwood (or Alec as he constantly reminds people) has an uncanny resemblance to Will, despite the two being unrelated. He is slightly taller, his skin perhaps half a shade paler, but his hair is the exact same inky black, and to spot the difference in their eyes one would really have to look closely. That is, if he will let you. Despite the striking resemblance, Alec does not believe himself to be beautiful. He sees his pale skin as a symbol of the time he spends shut up with his books, a consequence of his only friends being the two people that everyone else wants to hang out with. He does not like his eyes, they draw attention to him when he would rather blend in with the background, and if there is any remotely beneficial aspect to his ridiculously unruly hair, it is that it can shield his eyes from those who become curious. No, Alec is not like Jace and Will at all. He does not like to get into trouble. He is quiet, thoughtful and reserved, respectful of those around him and highly intelligent. He laments at being dragged into the spotlight. One then cannot help but wonder at how these three boys are best friends at all. It is quite a straightforward explanation really.

Celine and Linette had both married into the Herondale family, and it was by sole coincidence that they discovered they were due at approximately the same time. Yet stranger still, Celine's best friend- Maryse Lightwood- was due to give birth only two months before the sisters-in-law. Needless to say, the three women became very close during their pregnancies, and once the boys came along often shared childcare amongst the three of them so they could return to working part time. It therefore came as no surprise to anyone that the three boys were exceptionally close during the first few years of their lives. When they were still tiny, unable to talk, they would often cry if they could not see the other two, sleeping only if they were together. When they were a bit older, able to play and interact with others, they shared everything they had. Every toy they got belonged to all three of them, and they would often sit together for hours, making buildings out of blocks or playing with cars, communicating in their language that only the three of them could understand. When they were four and started school, they stuck together at every possible moment. The first tantrum came when the teacher attempted to separate them, and after that the boys were left to adjust together. Of course, they played with other children- including Alec's and Will's younger sisters Izzy and Cecily- but they never left each other's side. This continued in much the same way (albeit they stopped throwing tantrums if someone tried to separate them) until they were about ten years old. It was here that things began to slowly change.

Maryse had been worried about Alec for several years before then. Both Will and Jace had made friends with other children in their class, children Alec only really tolerated **because** they were friends with Will and Jace. She had noticed how he was quieter than Will and Jace, preferring to let them both take the lead when meeting new people. He did not necessarily like the sort of things they did, and he certainly did not enjoy getting half the amount of attention that the other two received. Maryse did not say so, and would not admit it if asked, but she worried that Jace and Will might grow detached from Alec, realising that he is not quite the same as they were. The thought alone broke her heart, the idea that her sweet child may one day find himself alone because the two boys who were his best friends would grow bored of having a friend who did not like to do what they did. But years passed and Maryse's fears did not materialise.

The boys soon turned twelve, and Maryse had little choice but to sit and watch as her usually quiet son began to withdraw into himself even more. Whereas before he would (despite protests and complaints) begrudgingly go along with whatever adventure Will and Jace wanted to go on, he would more frequently refuse to go, stating that he had a headache and wanted to be left alone. On these occasions, he would shut himself up in his room and not speak to anyone for hours. Will and Jace would go off regardless, bickering and laughing as they went. Again, Maryse feared that Alec may lose his friends. But again her fears were misplaced. The two boys may have gone out by themselves, but they never forgot their friend back at home. Every time Alec insisted he wanted to be alone, they would return with ice-cream and cookies, watching DVD after DVD until Maryse came back from work and found the three friends fast asleep on the sofa.

By the time they were fifteen, Alec had come out from his shell a little but was still painfully shy. Jace and Will on the other hand had blossomed. They had all the confidence that Alec lacked and soon started dating girls. They would go out more often, Alec would stay indoors or go out with his sister, but the three boys always made sure that they spent time together. Jace and Will always went to Alec if they had any problems, and it was Alec that Will turned to when he realised he started to have feelings for the new boy in their class, David. When the other kids started to make comments about Alec or tease him for his lack of friends, Will and Jace wasted no time in defending him, often getting sent to detention for unacceptable uses of violence. They may have had other friends, but they always made sure that the three of them spent some time together at school. This fact never changed, not even when they started college and found themselves in completely different classes. It was now that Maryse finally allowed herself to believe that the three of them would be friends no matter what, and it was a fact that the three boys believed themselves. When they were sad, or lonely, or even just messing around, they always stated that they would be friends forever. That one day, they would be three ninety year olds, perched in the rocking chairs of one of their houses telling stories to their grandchildren of all the (probably highly inappropriate) things that they had done when they were young themselves. They were going to be friends forever, no matter what they encountered.

At least, that's what they thought would happen.


	2. Chapter 2- Magnus Bane

**A/N** Hey guys! Thank you to everyone who has looked at this story, I hope you've liked it so far.

 **Disclaimer:** I still don't own the characters, they belong to Cassandra Clare.

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Chapter 2- Magnus Bane

Magnus sighs as he replaces the lid of his black liquid eyeliner, focusing on his image in the floor length vanity to ensure that his look for the day is perfect. Having got up at 5:30 to start his morning ritual (one can never rush perfection after all), it is only now, with the digital clock flashing the figures 8:00 that he deems himself acceptable. _Well_ , he thinks, _looks like breakfast isn't going to happen_. With an appraising smile at his tight forest green jeans, sparkling silver tank top and matching silver converse, he is finally ready to leave. To accompany his outfit he has selected a matching combination of silver and green necklaces and bangles specifically chosen to reflect the sunlight. It is early autumn, and although the chance of rain is significant, it is still warm enough to get by without a jacket. With his hair suitably glittered and his eye shadow blended flawlessly, Magnus sets off for his first day at his new college.

As he walks, avoiding panicking mums trying to get their young children to class on time and keeping an eye out for anything remotely interesting to do in his spare time (besides partying of course), he cannot help but hope that this time things will be different. That maybe this time the spark of loneliness that never seems to leave will finally be obliterated. He scoffs at this thought; anyone who came across him would never associate the word 'lonely' with Magnus Bane. Everyone at his old school knew him. Loud and flamboyant, everything about him screams confidence. He does not walk; rather he prances with a grace that comes naturally to him. He wears and does things no one else would be confident enough to do. He is regularly invited to parties, and if you asked everyone would tell you that the parties hosted by the 'Magnificent Magnus Bane' were the ones not to miss. He thrives with attention and has had his fair share of partners, both male and female. Yet despite all this, he still feels lonely.

Letting out another sigh and shifting his northern-lights-inspired rucksack more comfortably on his back, Magnus walks with a new found determination. He knows why he is lonely, and he will not let it happen again.

Magnus was only five when he was adopted by Sophia. She is the only mother he has ever known, and he cannot help the grin that works its way onto his face as he thinks about her. Barely five feet, but still incredibly feisty and not a woman you would want to mess with, Sophia is a kind woman with a loving heart. She works long hours at the local supermarket so Magnus can have everything he needs. When he was 15 and told her he is bisexual she told him she just wants him to be happy, no matter who that's with. She went to every school musical that Magnus took part in, yelled at him if he did anything stupid or dangerous (which was fairly often) and comforted him whenever he got his heart broken. When he turned 16 he found that she had spent the year saving to take him to London Fashion Week, a trip that he will cherish for the rest of his life. He loves Sophia dearly, and yet despite this he cannot stop the pain he feels when he thinks of his biological parents. He cannot do anything to stop the feeling of inadequacy and insignificance that settles in his heart whenever he thinks about the fact that neither of his parents had wanted him. That he was the reason for their destruction.

With this, the grin has long faded from his face and Magnus finds himself at the reception of Idris College, waiting to collect his timetable. Once he has the pale blue paper, he finds a bench to sit on, and his mind once again strays to the feeling of loneliness he can feel lingering beneath the makeup he has so thoroughly applied. The pain he still feels at the thought of his biological parents is a secret only Sophia knows, and Magnus knows that this is why he feels alone. He knows that it is because he will not let anyone see the real him, too afraid that if they do they will walk away, tearing further strips into his already wounded heart. He is too afraid of the pain he will feel when this does inevitably happen, that although he has friends and lovers, he keeps them sufficiently distant.

 _But not anymore,_ a small corner of Magnus' mind defiantly whispers. He is tired of being alone; he wants someone to know who he really is. He wants someone to _love_ who he really is. But to do that, he has to let them in.

With this new found determination, Magnus heads to his form group for registration, his head held high and a genuine smile gracing the corners of his lips. Despite the protest he put up when his mum told him of their move from a thriving London borough to a seaside town in Dorset, he cannot help but hope that it will be the opportunity he has been searching for. He cannot help but hope he will finally find someone he belongs with.

 _I will do this_ , he thinks.

But deep down he knows that finding someone to trust so explicitly will not be easy.


	3. Chapter 3- Introductions

**A/N-** Hey guys! I hope you've liked the story so far, thanks for checking it out. I know the first two chapters had no dialogue, but this changes with this chapter.

 **Disclaimer:** The characters still belong to Cassandra Clare.

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Chapter 3- Introductions

As he saunters into room 16, a rather small room located at the end of a rather creepy staircase, Magnus scans his eyes across the room, searching for an empty desk. Almost immediately, he finds the one that he will claim as his for the rest of the year. Eyes focused on the young man occupying the one immediately to the left of it, a slow smirk works its way onto Magnus' face as he heads towards it. _Hello gorgeous_ , he thinks as he settles into the brick red plastic chair. The smirk only grows more profound as Mr Gorgeous turns to face him.

Sitting across from him is one of the most attractive people Magnus has ever laid eyes on. Carefully styled ink black hair, smooth porcelain skin and striking blue eyes, Magnus carefully takes the time to admire the tight, cerulean blue t-shirt the young man is sporting before getting a closer look at his face. Mr Gorgeous (as Magnus has taken to calling him) has a smirk matching Magnus' shaping his rosy pink lips, one eyebrow gracefully raised in answer to Magnus' prolonged stare. _Yep,_ Magnus thought, _definitely hot_.

It was at this point when Mr Gorgeous spoke, his voice –deep and smooth- just as attractive as the rest of him.

"You know, I've been told it's rude to stare. Even if you are looking at someone as handsome as myself". The words are accompanied by an amused chuckle, and Magnus decides that he cannot keep referring to him as Mr Gorgeous.

Quirking an eyebrow at the blue eyed boy, Magnus replies, "I see modesty is a strong point of yours."

"Why deny what we both know is true?" With these words he extends a hand to Magnus, "I'm Will, by the way. I don't recall seeing you around last year?"

"Magnus", he replies with a flirtatious wink, accepting the handshake before moving to get a pen and notebook out of his rucksack. "My mum and I just arrived this weekend; we're still settling in so I haven't had a chance to meet anyone yet."

At this Will sports a more genuine smile. "Well, there's a party arranged for tonight, everyone will be there, and you can take that as your chance to get to know people." Suddenly a smirk graces his features once more and Magnus picks up on the flirtatious tone of his next words. "If you give me your number I can text you the address."

"I'd like that", he replies while fishing his phone out of his pocket, a task made almost impossible due to how tight his trousers were in the first place.

The boys had just finished exchanging numbers when a woman in her late thirties walks in and settles herself at the teacher's desk. From this point on, they no longer have a chance to speak, but every now and again Magnus sneaks a quick glance at the boy next to him, smirking to himself when he catches Will doing the same in return.

 _Well_ , Magnus thought, _this has been a_ _ **great**_ _start to the day_.

Sadly, that great start did not continue. Magnus had forgotten just how dull the first day of the year was. Every class was the mandatory syllabus outlines, material checklists, and 'fun and exciting' get to know your classmates exercises.

He had never been more bored in his life.

By the time the fifth (and thankfully last) hour came around, Magnus found himself with only one piece of homework; and wanting to go to tonight's party without having to worry about attempting it first thing in the morning, he decided to get it out of the way in his free period.

With the little energy he had left, Magnus dragged himself up the two flights of stairs into the college's library. He wasn't surprised to find it almost deserted and settled himself down at a desk half covered in a mountain of books, hoping that the obstruction would prevent anyone from coming over and bothering him.

Grabbing a pen and his notepad, Magnus started working on the piece his drama teacher had set. It was supposed to be another way of getting to know one another, and Magnus was struggling to decide what story to tell. The task was simple; everyone had to write a two minute monologue, which they would perform tomorrow in front of everyone, depicting a significant moment in their life. Magnus had to chuckle at this, when he said he wanted to be more trusting of people, he didn't _quite_ mean that he wanted to broadcast his life in front of fifteen people he had only just met.

It took him ten minutes to settle on a moment sufficiently 'significant' to fulfil Ms Branwell's criteria but still not revealing too much about himself. After a further twenty minutes of concentration, Magnus leaned back in a stretch, glancing approvingly down at his monologue 'Reborn'. Deciding to share his reluctance to move and realisation that it may just be the new start he needs, Magnus was confident that it would go down well.

Slamming his book shut, he was just about to get up to leave when an exasperated "not again!" was the only warning he got before the mountain of books came cascading down onto his side of the desk.

 _Looks like I wasn't alone after all_ , Magnus thought, wondering how someone could make so little noise so as to sit completely undetected for thirty minutes. He had just reached out to help the other boy, who was clearly agitated and was (rather clumsily) trying to get the books back into some sort of neat order, when he glanced upwards and was met with beautiful cobalt blue eyes. Magnus' first thought was that it was Will from registration, but once he had looked properly he realised he was quite wrong.

This boy was paler than Will, his hair slightly longer and untidy, sweeping into his eyes as if he didn't care what happened to it as long as it was clean. Despite the warmth, he wore a baggy, slightly faded black hoodie, suggesting he preferred comfort over style. But the main difference was in their attitudes. While Will had been all arrogance and confidence, flirting with Magnus as readily as Magnus did with him, this boy was quite the opposite. The second he noticed Magnus staring his cheeks reddened in the most adorable blush and he quickly averted his eyes, biting his bottom lip gently as he got back to reorganising the books.

Not looking at Magnus again, he uttered a quiet and wary "sorry about that" as he carefully placed some of the books in his bag and the rest on the nearby shelf.

Magnus could not deny that he was intrigued by the young man. Like Will, Magnus couldn't help but notice he was gorgeous, but unlike Will, he seemed to be completely oblivious to the fact. Magnus doesn't know why, but he finds that he is drawn to the young man. He wants to know more about him, put a name to the face, see what he likes and doesn't like. Perhaps it is the fact that Magnus has only ever surrounded himself with people as confident and extroverted as he is. But now, when faced with the quiet shyness of the boy, Magnus finds that he quite likes the curious way in which a pair of blue eyes flickers to him repeatedly before darting away again as if afraid Magnus would be upset.

During Magnus' musings, the other boy had finished putting his books away and was settling himself back at the desk, preparing to complete his own work. Magnus knew he had to act quickly if he didn't want to miss his chance.

Coughing delicately to get the other's attention, Magnus decided that a little flirting wouldn't do any harm. "Since you so cruelly dumped all those books on me earlier, the least you can do is give me your name, Blue Eyes". Smiling a little to show he wasn't really mad, Magnus was delighted at the light blush his flirting had brought to the boy's cheeks.

"O-oh. Um Alec?"

Magnus laughed as the tone of the young man's voice turned it into a question. "Alec. Is that, by any chance, short for Alexander?" Magnus sincerely hoped it was, the beautiful boy deserved an equally regal name, and Alexander was more than fitting.

At Magnus' question, Alec had pursed his lips together, eyebrows drawing lower in a clear sign of irritation. "Yes", came the curt reply, "but I prefer Alec. Only my parents call me Alexander, and it sounds ridiculous".

"On the contrary darling, I think it sounds incredibly sexy", Magnus replied, enjoying the crimson blush that worked its way up Alec's throat and blossoming on his cheeks, chuckling a little at the startled sputtering he was making. "I'm Magnus, nice to meet you". Dropping another flirtatious wink, Magnus couldn't control his delight at the (albeit slight) returning smile he got. "I hope you're going to the party tonight, it would be nice if we could get to know each other a bit more".

At this it was Alec's turn to laugh a little. "Oh no, parties aren't really my thing". Glancing at his watch, Magnus watched disappointed as Alec's eyes widened comically, letting out a panicked "oh no" as he jumped out of his seat, practically throwing everything else he had in his black rucksack. "I'm sorry Magnus, I have to go. Maybe I'll see you around."

Cursing the fact that Alec had to leave so soon, Magnus let him go with a slight nod and a wave of his hand. But he did not miss Alec's parting words, words which made him think of the promise he had made earlier that morning

"Besides, how well do you **really** get to know someone at a party?" 

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**A/N-** Thanks for the review meya hasa, I hope you liked the new chapter!


	4. Chapter 4- The Party

**A/N** \- I am so, so sorry I've taken so long to update! BUT- on a positive note, this is the longest chapter I've written so far. Thank you so much to everyone who has read this, I hope you've been enjoying my story.

 **Disclaimer:** Cassandra Clare owns the characters.

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Will turned to glare at Jace as the car door softly clicked shut behind the golden haired boy. "We're gonna be late you know."

"Fashionably so dear William, fashionably so", Jace replied with a smirk. "Why does it matter anyway?" At this he paused to take in the tight navy blue button up shirt and ripped skinny jeans that Will had put on. "Why have you put so much effort in...?" A knowing grin lit up his face as he continued to interrogate the blue eyed boy.

"Okay, who is it?"

 _Why is he so perceptive,_ Will thought to himself. "I have no idea what you're talking about 'dear Jonathan'", his tone of voice mocking his friend's earlier words.

"You know what I'm talking about. Those particular jeans only come out when you're trying to get someone. So I'll ask again. Who. Is. It?" With these last few words, Jace slid as close to him as his seat belt would allow.

 _I wonder if I can hit him before he moves_ , Will thought.

"If I tell you, will you sit back properly so we can leave?" With these words, Jace settled himself back into his seat, body language clearly indicating that he expected an answer. Will inwardly groaned to himself as he rested his head on the steering wheel, careful not to ruin his perfectly styled hair. "Okay", he said sitting up again and getting the car in gear, "it's the new guy, Magnus. I don't know what it is, whether it's his eyes, or his personality, or whatever, but there's something about him that keeps drawing me to him."

Will could see Jace thinking out of the corner of his eye and silently hoped he would drop the whole subject. He had no such luck.

"Magnus? Whose Mag..OH." With this his eyes went wide and he sent an amused glance towards Will. "You mean the guy with the glitter you can literally see from three corridors down? That guy?"

"Don't be a jerk Jace, but yes, he wears glitter. I think it adds to his charm", he added with a small smile.

"Not being a jerk. I haven't spoken to the guy to get his name." Settling into his seat once again, there was a slight period of silence before a smirk graced his features. "So, do you need a wingman?"

Resisting the temptation to smack his face into the steering wheel, Will desperately began to think of a way to change the conversation. "No, thank you"; came his irritated reply. Before Jace could continue the conversation any further he added a hasty, "You couldn't convince Alec to come then?"

Jace sent him a look which made it clear that he knew what Will was up to but he did, thankfully, let it go. "No, he said he wanted to finish this book he started yesterday." With this, a calculating look came to his face, and Will knew exactly what conversation they were about to have. "Look, do you think we could do something to get him to know some people? Just invite two or three round for a movie night, and see if he'll talk to them or something?"

Will let out a small sigh as he turned into a side road. They've had this conversation many times over the last three years or so, and each attempt had ended in exactly the same way; with a very annoyed Alec telling them to mind their own business and stay out of his life.

"You know what'll happen Jace", he replied sadly. "He will sit there all evening because he doesn't want to be rude, but he'll hate it and then he'll yell at us and shut himself away even more. Perhaps we should just let him do things at his own pace."

At this, Jace slumped a little, face falling as flashes of guilt and sadness showed in his golden eyes before he turned to look out of the window. "I know. I just don't like him being alone so often. He has so much to offer, I don't understand. It's like he's stopping himself from being happy".

It hit Will, in that moment, that he could not remember the last time he had seen Alec genuinely happy. Sure, he had laughed and smiled, told jokes when it was just the three of them, but the traces of sadness never really left his eyes. Will didn't know when it started or why, but that wouldn't stop Will from trying to get rid of it.

"Why don't the three of us go to that archery club he likes?" Turning to Jace he added, "Unless, of course, you don't want to be completely embarrassed again".

"What are you talking about Will; he beat you just as badly!"

"Yes, but I didn't come last."

"It was one point. You beat me by one point. And that was just luck; you're no better than I am."

"The scores say otherwise."

Jace had just opened his mouth to reply when Will brought the car to a stop outside a house with flashing lights and music blasting through the walls. "Well, they went all out on this one, didn't they? Whose is it this time?"

"Some guy from the rugby team", Will retorted, locking his car and making his way to the front door. Ringing the door bell, it took five attempts before someone heard it over the music, the door being thrown open to reveal the chaos.

"Jace! Will!" exclaimed a high pitched voice before a strong body engulfed them both into a hug. Once they had stepped into the house and shut the door, Will finally had a chance to look at who had greeted them.

Appraising the mid length wine red dress, dangerously high heels and well styled jet black hair, he only needed to glance at her eyes to recognise a girl he hadn't seen in years.

"Kaelie, I didn't know you were back in town." A quick glance towards an equally shocked Jace suggested he didn't either.

"I just moved back this weekend". With a roll of her eyes she added; "you know how last minute my mum can be."

"That I do", Will replied chuckling, remembering the time she decided to go on holiday three hours before the train actually left.

"But enough about me, you're looking rather handsome tonight", glancing quickly at Jace she winked as the two shared a knowing smile. "Who's the lucky person?"

 _Why am I friends with these people,_ Will thought. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"You have the jeans on".

 _I'm buying a new wardrobe._ "And what jeans would these be?"

"The, you-know-you-want-me jeans", she replied.

"Which apparently do 'great things for your ass'", Jace added, quoting Will's words the first time he wore them.

"Have I ever told you two how much I hate you", Will groaned, watching as his two friends laughed at his expense, sharing a high-five. "But seriously, I wonder if he's here yet".

At this, Kaelie sobered up immediately. "Ohhhh, a he? Maybe if you described him I could tell you", she replied, looking innocently at Will.

The three of them had moved towards the drinks table by this point, grabbing a couple of sealed beers and a plate of food as they searched for somewhere to sit. Once they had found a spare sofa in the corner of the living room (at least Will assumed it to be a living room), he turned to glare at her as he started on his food.

"Don't look at me like that; I know exactly what you're up to. But if you must know, he's tall, hot, probably in glitter and brightly coloured clothes and wears make up." He paused, looking at the grin that had plastered itself on Kaelie's face. "Is that thorough enough for you?"

"Yep", she drawled. "Can't say I've seen him though".

"See, looks like you didn't have to worry about being late after all", the blonde interjected as he opened his second beer.

"Shut up Jace".

The three continued to chat, catching up on what had happened in the two years since Kaelie moved away. Every now and then, people would come up to them to say hi, but Will constantly kept one eye on the door.

An hour passed and the friends had already finished their third beer when Will finally caught sight of him. His breath caught in his throat. _Damn, he's beautiful_ , he thought as he choked on the beer he was drinking. If Will thought his trousers were tight, they were no match for the leather trousers that Magnus was sporting. Matched with a dark purple button up shirt and platform knee high boots, his makeup was far more extravagant than this morning. His hair was spiked and coated in purple and silver glitter, his eye shadow continued the purple and silver theme, and Will lost track of how many necklaces the other boy was wearing. He was just about to get up to greet him, when Magnus suddenly met his eyes, smiling in greeting as he made his way over to them, stopping to grab himself a couple of drinks.

"Okay, wow he is HOT", Kaelie remarked, turning to look at Will with her eyebrows raised.

"Told you", Will commented, just before Magnus finally joined them.

Stopping a couple of steps away from the group, Will watched as Magnus ran his eyes over him, an approving smirk shaping his mouth before their eyes met.

Clearing his throat a little Will stood up, addressing Magnus. "Wanted to make an entrance did you?"

The other boy chuckled a little, "You can't rush this, Will", he exclaimed while gesturing animatedly to himself. "And who are your friends?" he added, while looking at the other two remaining on the sofa.

"Oh. This is Jace", Will replied as Jace and Magnus shook hands, "my cousin, though we've been best friends all our lives. And this", indicating towards the dark-haired girl, "is Kaelie, we've been friends since we started high school but she only just moved back into the area".

"It's nice to meet you both", Magnus replied. Will watched as Magnus finished his drink, blushing a little as Magnus added, "I forgot to mention, you look hot in those trousers".

"Thanks", he replied. "You look great yourself"; though this was easily drowned out by the roars of laughter coming from the two friends on the sofa. _Why am I friends with them_ , Will thought, glaring at them while Magnus looked around confused, finally deciding to address his question to Will.

"What have I missed?"

"Absolutely nothing. Care to dance?" Will grabbed his arm, practically pulling him onto the dance floor before Magnus had a chance to reply, shooting his friends one last glare as they continued to laugh on the sofa.

"Sorry about them, sometimes they don't know how to behave themselves".

Magnus chuckled at this, and Will had to admit that the sound made him feel things he hadn't felt since he dated Jessamine. _Don't go there Will_ , he thought _, now is not the time_.

"Are you sure there's not something you don't want them to tell me, Will", he replied, raising an eyebrow.

"Nope, not at all", Will retorted perhaps a little too hastily since Magnus still looked amused. "You just look like a guy who comes to a party to do more than sit around", he added with a flirtatious wink that caused Magnus to let out a proper laugh for the first time since they met.

 _Even his laugh is gorgeous,_ Will thought.

"And what do you mean by that? I hope you plan to behave yourself Will or I'll have to send you back to your friends".

Will grinned in response. "I'll be on my best behaviour".

"You best be", Magnus chuckled as he started to dance, swaying his hips from side to side, smirking a little as he saw the blue eyed boy fixing his gaze on them. "See something you like?"

Deciding to toy with him a little, Will replied; "Yeah, your trousers. It's my friend's birthday soon and I was thinking he might like a pair".

"Is that so", Magnus breathed, leaning closer as if he was about to kiss Will, "then I guess you won't mind if I go and grab a couple more drinks, see a few other people?" With this he turned around, taking a step away as if he really meant to leave.

 _Shit_ , Will thought _, this guy is good._ "When you haven't even given me a dance yet? I think not." With this he gently, but firmly, grabbed Magnus' arm, pulling him a little to get him to turn back around. Deciding to ignore the smirk that Magnus was wearing he wrapped his arms around Magnus' neck as he felt Magnus' go around his waist, drawing them both into the dancing that was going on around them.

Will lost track of how long they were dancing for. Song merged into song as they continued to drink, dance and laugh, flirting a little and getting to know something about each other. Will found out that Magnus had just moved from London, was single ( _thankfully_ ), and was also bisexual. Will found himself picturing the small smile Magnus sported when he replied that he too was bisexual, chuckling to himself as he recalls Magnus' indignant shock at the fact that he had lived in the small town all his life.

" _But, it's so quiet!"_

" _Maybe for you city boy, but this is all I have ever known. I wouldn't change it for the world"._

A small cough jerked Will back into the present, and he found himself gazing into the other's yellowish-green eyes, which were _definitely_ , closer than they had been a few minutes ago.

"You didn't hear a word I said did you?" The amusement in Magnus' voice suggested he wasn't offended, the laughter causing his eyes to light up beautifully.

 _Now or never, Will._

"I had my mind on other things".

A raised eyebrow. "Oh yeah, What?"

Blue eyes meeting green, Will took an almost imperceptible step forwards until the two were stood toe to toe, the proximity forcing Will to gaze up slightly to meet Magnus' eyes.

"You".

With this he finally leant forwards, his lips meeting Magnus' soft ones, his hands entwining in Magnus' surprisingly soft hair. He pressed himself closer, allowing himself to revel at the sensations, the fact that Magnus had wrapped his arms around him, the smell of sandalwood that clung to him, the feel of Magnus kissing him back and the taste of cherry lip gloss mixed with cider. He was just about to deepen the kiss when Magnus suddenly pulled away, remaining close but taking a noticeable step back, guilt clear in his gorgeous eyes. Guilt which cut Will to the core, the boy suddenly wishing that he was anywhere but right there.

 _Why,_ Will thought to himself miserably _, does no one want to be with me._ He had just turned to leave when Magnus' urgent voice cut him off.

"Shit, I'm sorry Will I shouldn't have let that happen. Will you look at me? Please?" Reluctantly the blue eyed boy turned around, refusing to meet the green eyes, which just moments ago had been one of the most gorgeous things Will had ever laid eyes on.

"As cheesy as this is going to sound, it's not you it's me." Will watched sadly, as the other visibly struggled to find the words, silently wishing he would hurry up so he could go home and try to pretend it never happened.

Magnus suddenly met his eyes, taking an urgent step towards him as he took hold of Will's hands, eyes begging for Will to listen to him.

"You are gorgeous, you know that? It's why I've been flirting with you all night, black hair and blue eyes has always been my favourite combination. But I made a promise Will, that I would be different, and if I kissed you like this nothing would have changed. I would be the same guy who goes to all the parties and ends up making out with someone. I don't want this to be like that, I want to be different." At this he paused, searching Will's eyes for any sign of understanding. Will doesn't know what Magnus saw there, but the glittery boy carries on anyway.

"I don't know you Will, but I do know I find you attractive. Could we start as friends? Take this slower and see, once we actually get to know each other a little better, whether we do genuinely like each other, or whether it's the alcohol guiding us?"

He sounds so hopeful at this point, his eyes still searching for understanding, that Will believes he is telling the truth. But part of him still has doubts, still believes that Magnus just doesn't want to be with _him_ , that he is just trying to find a polite way to turn him down. He cannot stop the doubt that gnaws at him, the creeping feeling that he is just not _enough_ which has seeped into his heart and nested there.

Pushing down the doubt and insecurity, Will plasters a fake smile onto his face, letting out a small "okay" as he turns to leave. Had he been facing Magnus, the dejected boy would have noticed the flash of hurt and worry that crossed the cat-like eyes as Will started to depart.

"Going so soon?"

Will turned back around at the playful sound of the question, his signature smirk settling onto his features once more.

"It would be rude to deprive my friends of my presence any longer".

Magnus let out a small chuckle at this. "Then I suppose I'll see you around?"

Will just gives him one last playful wink as he turns back around again, calling over his shoulder: "Of course, you can't get rid of me that easily".

As he walks away he scans the crowd for a glimpse of Jace or Kaelie. Unable to find them, he glances at his phone and sees that it is already 1:00am. Heart no longer in the party and unable to bury the humiliation and disappointment he feels, he gets his phone out and dials a number, trying to get his way back home.

As he pushes his way through the crowd and to the front door, he passes Magnus who is chatting to a girl with unruly red hair. Reaching the door and stepping outside, he feels his phone vibrate in his pocket. Retrieving it from his pocket he smiles a little at what is written.

 _I meant what I said._

Gazing at the stars while he waits for his lift; Will can't help but believe that there may be hope after all. 

* * *

**A/N-** I hope you liked it, please let me know what you thought.


	5. Chapter 5- Getting to know you

**A/N-** Hey! Less time in between chapters this time, and this one is BY FAR the longest chapter I've written. Thank you to everyone who has read this, and let me know what you think.

 **Disclaimer:** Cassandra Clare owns the characters.

* * *

Jumping a little at the shrill tone of his alarm, Alec glared at the clock showing 6:00am, silently cursing both Will and his sister as he silences the assaulting noise. Alec has long since come to terms with the fact that if he actually wants to be clean _and_ get to school on time then he has to claim the bathroom before his sister's hour long routine begins. What she actually does in that time Alec will never understand, but he has begrudgingly accepted his fate as he trudges towards the bathroom, grabbing his towel as he leaves his bedroom. Being a morning person this ritual usually suits Alec fine. He gets up early, showers and eats in peace and even has time to watch the television before he has to drive himself and Izzy to school. However, when he's being dragged out of his house at 1am to pick up his drunk friend who then refuses to leave him alone for another two hours as he sulks over being rejected by his latest love interest, Alec would like nothing more than to stay in bed for as long as humanly possible.

 _You bloody owe me, William,_ Alec thought as he brushes his teeth perhaps a little more roughly than he ought to. As he climbs into the shower and lets the hot water soothe his tense muscles, he feels his anger dissipate and his mind starts to stray to the eccentric boy he had met during his study period yesterday. Thinking back on the light in his luminescent eyes as he laughed; the smooth curve of his lips and strong line of his jaw, Alec knows that he is attracted to this boy. He is intrigued by his confidence and admires his willingness to express himself in whatever way he wants.

Alec thinks wistfully on this for a minute. He has long accepted that he is gay; it is a fact of the universe. Just as the earth will always revolve around the sun, Alec Lightwood will always be attracted to men. But this does not mean he wants other people to know. So he hides away. He dresses in clothes that let him blend into the background, he sticks to himself, and if his father asks him why he hasn't asked a girl to prom or to the Christmas parties, he will avert his eyes and reply that he is too shy. Alec wants, more than anything, to tell the world who he is.

 _I just don't know how_.

This last thought makes Alec pause as he's pulling on his black hoodie. Objectively speaking he knows it's still too warm to need one, but he wears it anyway in the hope that it will discourage people from looking at him. An image of greenish-yellow eyes floats into his mind, and Alec thinks once again of the flamboyant boy. Of Magnus.

 _Magnus. Even his name is gorgeous_ , Alec thinks with a small smile as he settles himself in front of the television with a bowl of cereal.

As he watches the last half of a documentary on King Henry VIII, he finds himself hoping that he will see Magnus again. Even if Magnus doesn't like him back, Alec hopes that he could at least become friends with him. _It would be nice,_ Alec thinks, _to not hide away all the time._

And who knows, perhaps Magnus could help him be himself.

* * *

The day passed slowly for Alec, and for once, he was barely able to concentrate in his two hours of English Literature. During lunch, Alec strolled to the small gardens attached to his college. There was a small alcove hidden behind an overhanging plant that Alec liked to sit in when he needed to think. With enough room ideally for one person, but two at a tight squeeze, one could often sit there unnoticed by those rushing past. It was calm and peaceful, ideal for reflecting. It was his own personal escape from the business of life. It was...

Currently occupied by a certain glittery teenager, with too tight canary yellow jeans, white vest shirt and unbuttoned azure blue blazer.

 _How the hell did he find this on his second day?_

For a brief moment Alec is crestfallen at the thought that someone else had finally discovered his secret hiding place, his mind frantically searching for another place he could sit.

 _But you wanted to see him again,_ a bold voice in Alec's mind whispered, _so what have you got to be upset about?_

Alec couldn't disagree with this thought, and once he had moved past his initial discontent, he settled on studying the other teenager more closely. Magnus has a small notebook open on his lap, his pencil case open and overflowing, spilling pens and pencils everywhere. From this angle, Alec cannot see what Magnus is doing, but the glittery teenager is so focused on his work that he has not noticed Alec's presence. A fact which allows the blue eyed boy to observe him for a little while longer.

Magnus' long hair hangs loose around his shoulders today, only the tips dipped in bright blue glitter, and as he is bent over his work slightly, it obscures his eyes. Sitting alone and engrossed in his work, his face is devoid of the playful smirk and flirtatious masks that he had been directing at Alec the previous afternoon. Instead, his face is relaxed and gentle, a soft smile on his lips as if he is happy with whatever it is he is doing.

 _He really is beautiful_ , Alec thinks to himself, wondering if this is a side to Magnus that the other teenager ever meant for anyone to see. In this moment, he would like nothing more than to go and greet Magnus, but he does not want to disturb him. He knows that Magnus must have come here to be alone, and he does not want to intrude on that. Instead, he settles with promising himself that he will talk to him the next time he sees him in the library. With this thought, Alec turns to leave, aiming to move quietly so as not to disturb the other boy.

Unfortunately luck had other ideas.

Just as he had taken his first step away from the alcove, he tripped over a large stick which he hadn't noticed on his way towards the hide out. It was only his quick reflexes, developed gradually after years of martial arts training, which saved him from hitting the ground face first. As he quickly got to his feet and dusted down his clothes, barely concealed laughter told Alec that he would not be able to escape unnoticed.

As heat pooled to his cheeks, and his face reddened with embarrassment, Alec turned around to glare at the other boy for laughing at him, though Alec suspected the effect was somewhat muted by the mortified blush that refused to leave his face. Slightly hurt by Magnus' laughter, Alec turned once again to leave, careful this time to keep an eye out for traitorous branches. But before he could take a step, a hand enclosed his wrist in a firm grip, forcing him to turn around once more.

Lips still twitching slightly Magnus spoke, his voice still as velvety as Alec remembered it being. "I'm sorry for laughing, but that trip was spectacular. You are okay though, Alexander?"

Alec smiled a little at the worry that filled his voice with his last words, though this was quickly replaced by annoyance.

"Alec."

"I thought I told you yesterday that Alexander was sexy. Besides you haven't answered my question", Magnus adds, this time with a slight smirk at the blush that had only deepened at his words.

Still a little flustered, Alec manages to get out a stuttered "f-fine", before realising that he had disturbed the other teenager from his work. "I'm sorry to bother you, by the way".

"Don't worry about it Alexander, it was nice to see you again. What were you doing here anyway, if you don't mind me asking? I thought no one else would know about it."

At this Alec had to laugh a little, a laugh that only increased with Magnus' adorably puzzled expression. "That's exactly why I wanted to go there, so I can write. I didn't think anyone else would ever find it".

Magnus paused for a second, and Alec watched as a smile, equally as genuine as the one he had when he was working, although brighter and revealing his perfectly straight teeth, stretched across his face. "Then why don't you sit with me?"

This time it was Alec's turn to raise an eyebrow at the other teen as he moved to glance past Magnus at the abandoned alcove. "Are you sure we'll fit?"

At this, Magnus' grin turned playful as he leaned in to Alec, and the blue eyed boy fought with everything he had to keep the blush off his face. He didn't think he succeeded though. With a mischievous glint in his eyes Magnus reached out to grab Alec's bag which was hanging limply from his arm, simply stating "I don't bite you know", as he made his way back to the alcove, leaving Alec with little choice but to follow unless he wanted to leave his items at the mercy of someone he had only just met.

Arriving just after Magnus had settled himself on the right side of the Alcove, his pencils and notebook packed away, back against the edge and feet in the middle, knees hugged to his chest, Alec gave Magnus a half hearted glare before settling in to the left side, crossing his legs and holding his bag protectively on his lap. Sitting this close to the boy, Alec found himself intoxicated by the smell of sandalwood and cinnamon that seemed to cling to his colourful companion. Slightly intimidated by Magnus' closeness, Alec didn't know what to say to the other boy and kept his eyes glued to his bag. Eventually the silence stretched out too long, and an awkward atmosphere settled around the boys which made Alec shift uncomfortably in his seat.

 _What are you doing, Alec? You don't have to ask the guy out, just say something. Anything._

Taking a deep breath, Alec slowly brought his gaze from his bag and met Magnus' gentle gaze, smiling a little in return at the kind and patient one Magnus had directed at him.

"I'm sorry", the blue eyed boy muttered.

The gentle gaze disappeared as confusion clouded Magnus' cat-like eyes. "What for?" He sat patiently as he watched Alec try to communicate what was bothering him.

Looking around and gesturing at the two of them, Alec attempted to force his thoughts into some sort of coherent order. "This. It's awkward. I interrupted your work, and now we're both cramped and uncomfortable, I don't know what to say and now I'm rambling so I'll just shut up", Alec finished, snapping his mouth shut and once again gripping his rucksack as if it was the only thing keeping him afloat in his own personal sea of fear and anxiety.

Magnus contemplated Alec's short outburst silently, green eyes never leaving Alec's blue ones, his gaze seeming to see everything that Alec had hidden. Eventually he answered the anxious teenager.

"I wasn't working".

At this, the anxiety in Alec's eyes dimmed a little, to be replaced with a spark of curiosity.

"What were you doing, then?"

Magnus paused for a second, an unidentifiable expression flashing briefly across his face, so quickly that Alec didn't have the chance to decipher what it meant. After a moment or two, Magnus seemed to visibly steel himself, as if some silent war had just been waged deep within him, a bruised and battered victor recently declared.

"I was drawing".

Another pause. A deep breath. A slight (and surprising) blush. Green eyes darting away before settling once again on Alec's face.

"Would you like to see?"

The cat-like eyes remained glued on Alec's face, as if searching for something that neither knew was there. The attention made Alec uncomfortable, but for once this was drowned out by the excitement at getting to see the other's creation.

"If that's okay with you?"

Magnus nodded slightly, a quick jerk of the head which suggested that he wasn't completely alright with it, but he dug around in his rucksack until he had the notebook he had been working in earlier. He flipped to the last page, eyes and movements still hesitant until he passed the notebook to Alec, his eyes both seeking and dreading the pale boy's reaction.

Alec let out a small gasp once he saw what Magnus had been working on. There was a faceless figure roughly sketched in the centre of the page, head and limbs placed to emphasise the dress that was drawn onto it. The dress itself was strapless and ended just above the knees, tight and fitting until the waist, from which it flowed gracefully, as if it would capture any movement made in it. But it was the design that was beautiful. The main material of the dress was a rich, dark blue. There was a spattering of what Alec assumed to be some sort of diamond across the waist and top of the dress, while the bottom was decorated with countless delicate flowers in white and silver. Alec did not know much about fashion. Scrap that. Alec didn't know _anything_ about fashion, but he could easily see his sister in it. And he knew that if is sister would wear it, it _had_ to be amazing.

Alec must have been silently staring at the dress for too long because Magnus let out a slightly uneasy cough, and when Alec looked up at his eyes again, they looked uneasy, as if he worried that Alec would hate it.

"Magnus. This, this is beautiful", Alec said honestly as he smiled at the other boy.

"Thank you, Alec", Magnus replied quietly, and Alec was amazed. This was a completely different Magnus to the one Alec met yesterday. He was apprehensive, his smile small and cautious, eyes doubtful with a deep blush covering his defined cheekbones.

Alec would be lying if he didn't admit it made him fall for the green eyed man, just a little more.

Alec was once again pulled from his musings as Magnus continued in a steady voice, "I've always wanted to be a fashion designer", his eyes the only thing betraying the slight fear that the other man might laugh at his confession.

Instead Alec gave him an encouraging smile, handing back the notebook as he replied. "Well, with talent like that, it would be a shame if you didn't".

Once Magnus had returned the notebook to his bag another silence stretched out between the two. It wasn't quite as awkward as the first time, but it still wasn't comfortable. Yet this time, it was Magnus who decided to break it.

"You said you wanted to come and write; what is it you do?" He asked, looking questioningly at his blue eyed companion.

Alec blushed as he got his notebook out of his worn rucksack.

Magnus rose a questioning eyebrow at Alec as he saw the most recent work, shifting a little so he sat closer to the boy. "I didn't take you as a poetry fan".

"That's because I'm not really. I just write whatever comes to mind; thoughts, stories, poems". With this, Alec repositioned himself so that he was sat shoulder to shoulder with Magnus, allowing both of them to look at the work at the same time.

Magnus acknowledged this with a nod of the head, he knew full well that the most surprising things could grab one's attention and never let it go again.

"Do you mind if I read it?"

Alec paused at this. He may not be too keen on poetry, but the poems he wrote tended to be those that reflected thoughts he wanted to keep private. _Poetry_ , Alec thought, _is a reflection of the soul._ Alec wasn't entirely sure he wanted to share his. However, glancing quickly at the boy who was patiently waiting for his reply, Alec wondered whether this was the same debate Magnus had before showing his sketches to him. A sketch which was obviously equally as personal and significant. _If he can do it, so can I. One dress, one poem,_ Alec decided.

 _One glimpse of my soul, for the glimpse of his._

"Okay", Alec said bluntly, directly meeting Magnus' gaze as he passed the notebook over, the words he had bruised into the paper still fresh in his mind.

 _I look from the blank wall to the sealed window_

 _As silence engulfs me._

 _The steady, rhythmic ticks of the clock the only sign of time_

 _Which breaks through my reverie._

 _I don't know how long I've been here._

 _Minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years;_

 _They all melt and fold into one,_

 _As I become a captive of my own making._

 _Brick by brick and chain by chain_

 _I have constructed the four solid walls that imprison me._

 _Loneliness, fear, anxiety and stubbornness._

 _They have boxed me in, and I have no means to escape._

 _I have tried, time and time again._

 _I have built the ladder and started to climb;_

 _Beginning the long and painful walk to freedom._

 _But just as quickly as it comes, the courage fades and I am left behind._

 _This time I must succeed, I have no other choice._

 _I have sat here, and watched, I have deluded myself._

 _Feelings merging into one until I can no longer tell;_

 _Am I content or lonely?_

Alec watched Magnus as he read. Watched as his eyebrows furrowed, how the smile that he had originally been sporting faded and was replaced with a frown. As the green cat-like eyes filled with tears that the colourful teenager tried to fight back down.

"That was beautiful Alec", he said softly as he returned the notebook to its owner. Magnus paused for a second as a thought appeared to occur to him. "I didn't see a title for it?"

Alec gave a small smile at this. "The Prison. Part One".

"There's a part two?" Magnus' tone was hopeful, almost as if he wanted to continue reading his work,

Alec looked away shyly, unused to people showing so much interest in his work. "It's not written yet, I'm yet to see whether the narrator completes the climb to freedom. I've been close to writing it, but every time I decide that the narrator succeeds, something always comes along and pushes him back down again. But once it's written, and in time, perhaps I will show you the second part."

There was a third silence after Alec's speech, the blue eyed boy slowly putting his book back in his bag so as to avoid looking at his green eyed companion. Had he been looking up, he may have seen the shine of tears that had settled in Magnus' eyes before he forced them away, putting a smile back on his face just before Alec turned to look at him again.

"Thank you, Alec."

His thanks confused the dark haired boy. _What has he got to thank me for?_

"What for?"

Magnus' smile turned more genuine at this, his gaze soft as he spoke. "For trusting me."

This time the silence that settled was more comfortable, no more words were needed. Eventually, Alec reluctantly looked at the time on his phone. _1:15, best get going to class then_. Gathering his bag he stood up, stretching a little after being cramped in the alcove for thirty minutes.

"We better get going to class if you don't want to be late Magnus".

The green eyed boy jolted; surprised as though he had completely forgotten the other two classes were still to come.

"Oh." Magnus looked disappointed at having to part company again. "It was nice to have talked to you, Alec".

Alec smiled hesitantly at the other before replying. "You too". He paused, his face clearly conflicted as a small blush coloured his cheeks once more and he bit gently on his lower lip, hesitating before shyly saying what had come to mind.

"Since you're new, I'm guessing you don't know the area very well. Would you-? I mean...If you want...Would you like me to show you some places?"

Magnus' smile had grown during the boy's stuttering outburst, and by the end of it, he was positively beaming. "I would love you to. I'm free tonight if you are?"

Alec sent a shy smile in return as the two headed towards the huts at the end of the yard. "Yes, I'm free tonight."

"Excellent. Give me your number and we can decide where to meet later".

After exchanging numbers, the two boys headed their separate ways, one towards the drama studio, and the other towards the Spanish room.

What had started off as an ordinary day for Alec had just taken an extraordinary turn.

* * *

The last two hours dragged by painfully slowly for Alec. Usually he loved history, but today he could not drag his thoughts away from Magnus and what had happened over lunch. Alec does not normally trust people, and he is slightly scared by how easy he found it to talk to Magnus. Deciding not to dwell on these thoughts too much, Alec quickly saved his coursework onto a memory stick and smiled to his teacher as he made his way from the computer room, hurrying to his dark blue mini.

Just as the car entered his line of sight, a feminine voice interrupted his daydreams about a certain colourful teenager.

"Hey brother! What's with the cryptic message?" His sister (dressed flawlessly, as always) greeted him with a smirk and a bemused expression in her chocolate brown eyes.

Alec shook his head a little at her antics.

"It wasn't cryptic".

"Meet me ASAP", Izzy quoted, reading off her phone before continuing to meet her brother's gaze. "I meet you by the car everyday anyway, so what's your hurry?"

Alec had to roll his eyes at her response. "Maybe I just didn't feel like waiting half an hour _again_ for you to tear yourself away from your countless admirers."

"It never bothered you before. Besides, it's not like you're going anywhere, you normally just shut yourself up in your room with your books." Izzy paused there, a slightly manic grin working its way onto her face as she took in the deep blush on his cheeks and slightly uncomfortable look in his eyes. "Wait. You _are_ doing something!" At this she edged excitedly closer towards her brother, bouncing a little on her feet as she dropped her voice to a secretive whisper, looking around to make sure no unwanted ears could hear their conversation.

"Do you have a date?"

Alec looked indignant at this, raising his voice a little in defence. "It's not a date!"

"A-ha!" Izzy exclaimed loudly, eyes widening and smile growing even larger. "So you _are_ doing something. Who is it? Do I know them? Male or female? How long.."

Alec abruptly cut his sister off by covering her mouth with his hand. "Stop with the questions. I only told you so you could get a lift off of Will or Jace, I thought you'd prefer that to walking". Giving his sister a glare which seemed to dare her to ask another question he added, "don't make me regret being considerate. Now scram, I have plans to be getting on with". Giving her a small smile and a quick hug, Alec gently pushed his sister away from the car, waving a little to try and get her to move.

Thankfully Izzy got the hint and began to walk away in search of one of the Herondale cousins. But she hadn't finished with her brother just yet. With an evil glint to her eye, she paused, looking over her shoulder at her brother who was still watching her.

"Don't do something I wouldn't do", she yelled with a wink, laughing manically at her brother's outraged expression before skipping off.

 _I really hate her sometimes,_ Alec thought as he watched her retreating figure. He slouched against his car as he waited for Magnus, pulling out his book to read it while he waited for the other to get out of his last class. He only had time to read two pages before Magnus approached him, greeting him cheerfully.

"Sorry if I kept you waiting, someone put their waste fabric in the wrong bin so we got a 10 minute lecture on the correct use of the bins", the glittery boy said with a roll of his eyes, coming to a stop just in front of Alec. "So, where are we going?"

At this, Alec put on a mischievous smirk before unlocking his car.

"You'll see".

* * *

 _Oh, by the Angel, what if he hates it? What if he thinks it's too childish? I should've just taken him to a coffee shop or something._ By the time they had reached their destination Alec was panicking, having already started to regret his choice half way through the drive. _Well, it's too late now_ , the rational part of his brain told him as he brought the car to a stop. Once the two boys had gotten out of the vehicle and Alec had paid for a parking ticket, Alec finally mustered up the courage to see what Magnus was thinking.

Turning to the taller boy with a small smile Alec explained; "Since this is right by the beach, this is one of the more touristy places in town. I take my little brother here a lot, I um just thought it might be a bit of fun, but-uh if you hate it we can go somewhere else." Alec's voice trailed off during his last sentence, his gaze shifting to the floor as his confidence wavered.

Magnus, however, was delighted by Alec's choice. "Are you kidding me Alec? I have never been go-karting before", he exclaimed excitedly, eyes darting around like a little kid in a sweet shop.

Alec looked up after these words, encouraged by Magnus' tone of voice, a large smile plastered on his face as Magnus dragged him to the ticket office.

"You do know it's just a simple circle right? Not like a formula one track or anything?"

"I don't care Alexander. GO. KARTS", Magnus declared as if the simple vehicles were sufficient explanation even to the philosophical questions of life.

"Wanna race?" Alec glanced challengingly into Magnus' eyes. He may not socialise with many people, but Alec was highly competitive, always had been, always will be.

Magnus raised his eyebrows at the challenge. "Did you not hear me when I said I've never driven them before?"

"It's not that difficult! Push the green peddle to go faster, red peddle to stop and turn the steering wheel where you want to go." Alec paused for a second, stepping closer to the taller boy as he added "unless you're afraid of losing?"

"I'm not racing you, Alec."

"Loser buys dinner?"

"I said no", Magnus said with an exasperated chuckle as the two collected their helmets and waited for the people before them to finish their last lap. Once the gate had opened to let them in, they made their way to the first two karts, Alec in front. As they settled themselves in, Alec turned to him once more.

"Best of three?"

Magnus only had time to laugh and give him a pointed look before the operators were starting up the karts. As the countdown to the start slipped by, Magnus began to regret being so eager. Not only had he never driven a go-kart before, Magnus also does not drive. Living in London there was no need. He had done a couple of lessons, and let's just say it didn't agree with him.

It appeared the same could not be said for Alec.

As soon as the green light showed the boy was off, accelerating as fast as the kart would let him go, taking the corners at what Magnus believed to be a very dangerous speed. In fact, he had already completed two laps by the time Magnus had done his first, the green eyed boy preferring to stick to a low speed, braking heavily as he went around the bends, gripping the steering wheel as if his life depended on it.

Alec, meanwhile, was having the time of his life. He had always loved the simple track, the feeling of going as fast as humanly possible, only braking if he really had to. He laughed loudly to himself every time he sped around the corner, grinning like a maniac as he edges his car to go faster, faster, faster until the speed could increase no more. He felt free when he came here. Weightless as if every burden he had to carry flew off him. However, as he manoeuvred his way out of the vehicle, his bright smile dimmed a little when he saw the slightly nauseous look on Magnus' face.

"Are you okay", he asked, his voice laced heavy with concern as Magnus collapsed onto a table near the track.

The green eyed boy gave him a weak smile, moving over so Alec could sit down next to him. "I'm fine." Looking disappointed he added, "I guess I learnt I don't like go-karting though".

Alec chuckled a little at his forlorn pout. "How about these instead", he said indicating to a neighbouring attraction.

Magnus shot him a quick look, staring at him as if he had gone insane. "They're not as bad as the go-karting are they?"

"Of course not. You've been on bumper cars right?"

"Hasn't everyone?"

"Well they're like those, but instead you control with your hands, and can spin around if you want. Fancy a go?"

Magnus seemed to mellow out a little once he learnt they were just differently shaped bumper cars. "Just one Alexander; but go easy on me. Jeez, anyone would think you hated me", Magnus added playfully as the two boys walked to the ride.

"Of course I don't", Alec answered sincerely as they put on their seat belts.

As the ride started up, Alec decided to go gentle on Magnus, giving him the space to come to terms with the machine and how it worked. Yet as Magnus began to look more comfortable, grinning a little and spinning on the spot like a maniac, Alec decided bumping was fair game. Once Magnus started spinning again, Alec took that as his opportunity to get himself ready without the flamboyant boy noticing, so that when Magnus came to a standstill he was gazing directly into Alec's mischievous eyes. Magnus' immediately widened comically and Alec instantly knew the green eyed boy realised what was happening.

"Alec, don't you dare, I mean it", Magnus exclaimed, frantically pushing and pulling the levers in a panic as he tried to escape the blue eyed boy. But he wasn't quick enough, as Alec soon brought his car into harsh contact with Magnus' causing both boys to jolt. Alec only chuckled at the wounded expression Magnus sent him, refusing to let up his assault for the remainder of their time. Each time he prepared, Magnus realised what was happening and tried, unsuccessfully, to stop him in his tracks.

"Alec you are a hooligan."

*smack*

"Okay that last one hurt..."

*crash*

"Seriously, leave me alone..."

*bang*

"ALEC, PLEASE!" By the end of the ride, Magnus had resorted to outright pleading, but the effect was somewhat diminished by his laughter, and the half hearted heat behind his words.

As the two boys climbed out of their machines they were both grinning to themselves, though Magnus was quick to send a hurt expression to his blue eyed companion.

"Did you really have to attack me so much?"

Alec only laughed at his question. "That's the whole point of bumper cars Magnus", he said, slightly exasperated.

"Well I didn't do it to you", was Magnus' indignant reply.

"You should have".

At this, Alec stopped walking and turned to his companion with a questioning expression on his face. "Do you have to go home, or do you want something to eat? There's a great fish and chip stall down the road on the side of the beach, if you'd like".

At the mention of food, Magnus' pretend pouting disappeared immediately and he mock bowed to the shorter boy, allowing him to step in front.

"Lead the way, you speeding maniac".

* * *

It turned out that Alec's 'down the road' meant 45 minutes along the beach. And Magnus was _not_ happy.

"I can't believe you didn't let us take the car", Magnus moaned as he trudged alongside Alec.

Alec rolled his eyes at Magnus' exasperation; they had been through this countless times already. "I already told you Magnus, this is the touristy part of town; there won't be anywhere to park beside the beach. Anyway, look it's the big blue hut down the road".

Magnus immediately whipped towards Alec, his cat-like eyes open wide in horror.

"But that's ages away!"

"It's barely five minutes", Alec scoffed.

Magnus rose his eyebrows in reply. "An ordinary five minutes or _your_ idea of five minutes?"

Alec just grabbed his arm and pulled him along the pathway. "Just keep moving, we're almost there".

"But my feet hurt so much!"

"Well then, you should wear more practical shoes", Alec laughed, appraising the heels on Magnus' white boots.

"You mean, like yours?" Magnus looked downright horrified at the idea.

"There's nothing wrong with my shoes Magnus", Alec sighed. _Well, besides the slight holes and the fact that the black has faded_ , Alec thought. Looking at Magnus' raised eyebrows and twitch of his lips, Alec thought that maybe Magnus was thinking the same.

He had a strange desire to defend his shoes. "At least they're comfortable. You don't see me with sore feet do you?" _Way to sound like a sulky five year old, Alec._

Magnus just shook his head in exasperation at his response. "You have to suffer for fashion Alexander. Beauty comes at a price".

"Just get your food", Alec huffed as the two approached the hut.

Once their food was prepared and the two had picked out an ideal spot on a low wall running adjacent to the beach (Magnus insisted on a minimal amount of walking), silence once again engulfed the two as they consumed their meal. Yet unlike this morning, the silence was comfortable and companionable. They were half way through their meal when the silence was broken.

"This is absolutely amazing", Magnus moaned around a mouth full of fish.

Alec laughed a little in response. "Worth destroying your feet for?"

"Don't push your luck, Alec".

A pause. A sneaking hand. A small yelp of pain.

"What did you do that for?" Came Alec's wounded cry.

Magnus gave him a pointed glare. "Try to steal a chip again and the consequences will be severe."

The rest of the meal passed in silence, with the two companions sitting idly as they watched the sea crash onto the sand, the sounds comforting to Alec as he tried to keep his anxiety at bay. Eventually though, the light began to fade and they both decided it was time to head back home. As they started their journey back, it seemed that Magnus had a plan.

"I've enjoyed today, Alec. Even if it does appear that you are more insane than first suggested", he added with a grin.

This caused Alec to blush and look down, letting out a muttered, "I'm not insane", before adding, "I had fun as well".

Magnus gave him a small smile as he said, "but we didn't really get to know each other".

Alec paused as Magnus said this, mind working at 100mph as he tried to work out where Magnus was going. "Oh um. N-no I guess we didn't", he managed to stutter out.

Magnus smirked a little as he looked at the blue eyed boy before asking; "DVD or cinema?"

Alec looked a little confused before he answered. "DVD. That way I can eat as much as I want without feeling everyone is silently judging me".

There was a long pause after Alec had answered, Magnus continuing to watch him as if he expected Alec to continue. When the blue eyed boy didn't Magnus let out a little chuckle before saving him from his misery. "It's your turn to ask a question".

Blue eyes went wide with understanding. "O-oh. Okay, I understand now".

A small, rose pink blush covered his cheeks as he bit his lip in thought. "A night in with friends or a night out?"

Magnus answered without thinking. "Out. None of my friends are really the stay at home type of people". He paused as he thought of his next question.

"Subject you want to study at university?"

"I haven't decided between History and English Literature." A slight pause. "Do you have any siblings?"

Alec noticed a strange look flit over Magnus' face but the taller teen answered anyway. "No. You?"

Alec wore a fond smile as he replied. "Two. Izzy is 15, but she skipped a year when we were young so she's in year 12. Max is 6. Do you have pets?"

"A cat."

"Same!" Alec smiled enthusiastically adding "his name is Church".

Magnus looked scandalised. "What sort of a name is Church?"

"Well what's your cat called?"

"Chairman Meow", came the haughty reply.

Alec stopped dead in his tracks. "Are you serious? You question my cat's name when your cat is called Chairman Meow?"

"I thought it was quite clever".

"You are a strange boy, Magnus".

The two boys continued questioning each other as they made their way back to Alec's car. They learnt each other's favourite colour (Alec was secretly very pleased to learn Magnus' was blue), their favourite music and film genres, the most embarrassing things they had ever done (Alec was glad to see he wasn't the only one with an affinity for embarrassing themselves) and the most exotic thing they had ever eaten. They never strayed into personal questions, the conversation remaining light hearted and elementary, but they learnt enough to start to know each other.

They had just reached Alec's car when the black haired boy asked; "do you need a lift, Magnus?"

Said boy just smiled in reply. "Yes please".

The ride home was quiet, Magnus only speaking to tell Alec when to turn (he did get them lost a couple of times but the boy was new to the area so Alec let it go). Soon (too soon for Alec's liking) they pulled up in front of a neat house, the walls painted a pale blue with the last of the summer flowers sitting out in front. Alec turned to say goodbye to Magnus, hoping for some indication that the other boy was interested in him too.

"Thanks for coming today Magnus, I had a great time."

"Me too. I think we're going to be great friends, Alec".

Alec's heart shattered at the word 'friends', the blue eyed boy silently berating himself for getting his hopes up anyway.

 _Why would he like you anyway Alec? Look at him, everything he wears is colourful; your entire wardrobe is black. He already said he likes going out, you like to stay in. Better to have your hopes crushed now before anything got any further._

Still he managed to force a smile on his face as he let out a weak "so do I". He turned away quickly, saying that he had to let his sister know he was coming home, in order to hide his face. Had he not done so, however, he may have noticed the way Magnus' eyes shone with disappointment, almost as if he wished the blue eyed boy had taken it further. Instead Magnus coughed a little, turning to open the car door as he said "I'll see you tomorrow, Blue Eyes", with a flirtatious wink.

Alec was confused by this.

 _Why would he wink at me if he only wanted to be friends? And that sounded like flirting? Why would he flirt with me?_

Alec was confused for the entire ride home, but once he pulled up to his driveway and opened his front door he had made up his mind. There was hope they may become something more, but he just had to wait and see what Magnus does.

 _That way, at least, I won't embarrass myself if he really does just want to be friends._

Just then his phoned buzzed with an incoming message, and he couldn't control his grin as he read it.

 **From: Magnus**

 **Hope you got home ok darling, thanks for showing me around. Wanna grab lunch tomorrow? Bring your sister if you want x.**

 _Yep. Maybe there is hope._

* * *

 ** _A/N-_** Until next time! And to the people that left me some reviews:

meya hasa- here's the update you wanted :)

Guest- hmmm. I see you wanted more interaction between certain people, perhaps this will be a nudge in the right direction.

Nicolaclair- thank you so much!


	6. Chapter 6- Sisters know best

**A/N-** Hello! I hope you've all had a great week. Thank you so much for reading what I've done. I'm going to aim for weekly updates, and at the moment it looks like this will be on a Sunday.

 **Disclaimer:** as always, the characters belong to Cassandra Clare.

* * *

Izzy had tried to conceal her excitement; she didn't want anyone to question what had made her so happy. She may occasionally invade her brother's privacy, but she did have tact when it was needed. Her brother had secrets he wanted protecting, and she was NOT going to be the reason anyone else found out about them. So once she had finally found Jace and Will and begged a lift off of them, she simply told them that Alec had some studying to do and she didn't want to wait around for him. Nor did she want to walk home in her over priced, over sized high heels. But once she was home alone, her parents long gone to work, she let her excitement flow out of her in a long, high pitched squeal accompanied by an excitable dance which had her dangerous heels clicking against the immaculate marble floor.

Once she had dumped her bag in her room and completed the small amount of work set by her textiles teacher (she may have been excited but she did want to go to university thank you very much), she decided to wait for her brother in his bedroom, knowing full well that if she waited anywhere else he would immediately try and hide away, locking his bedroom door before she could ask for him.

 _May as well ambush him where he has no escape,_ Izzy thought to herself as she settled herself comfortably on Alec's bed, flicking through university prospectuses. Izzy had spent the last year torn over her two great loves, fashion and makeup, and had eventually settled on studying hair and media make up, though she had yet to choose where she wanted to go. She was mid way through her fourth prospectus, having paused to reheat the food her mum had left for her, when she heard the sound of the front door opening. She squealed a little as, prospectuses forgotten, she tossed the books aside, folding her legs underneath herself as she shifted to face her brother's door.

Her heart warmed at the small smile and light blush he had on his face when he entered the room, the second before he realised that she was waiting for him. Izzy would not admit it to Alec, but deep down she had worried for him. She had figured out he was gay when she was 12 and he was 14. He had begged her to keep it to herself, and so she had, silently watching as he shut himself away from everyone, not giving them a chance to get to love him. She knew they would; he was kind, intelligent and (in a non-creepy objective point of view) good looking, but it seemed he didn't have the same belief that she did. Izzy just hoped that with today's unexpected development, he had started to gain some of the confidence he reserved only for her, Jace and Will.

The smile and blush quickly vanished however, when he noticed that she was perched on the end of his bed, eyes alight and grinning like a maniac at him. She watched in slight amusement as he turned slightly green, a frown gracing his face as he reluctantly dumped his bag by the door which he promptly shut and locked.

"Shit", he muttered tensely.

"I think you'll find it's Izzy", she answered smirking, the angry glare her brother sent her only adding to her amusement. _He is so easy to wind up,_ she thought fondly.

"What do you want Isabelle", he reluctantly asked.

"To chat; is that a crime?"

She watched as he trudged over to the bed, pushing her a little so they could sit side by side; just as they did all those years ago during the first serious conversation the two of them had together.

"Why is it that with you, our 'chats' include me spilling personal _private_ information about my life?"

"Because bottling it all up is unhealthy", she offered as a response to his rhetorical question, knowing full well that being more open would help her brother greatly.

He looked at her quickly before averting his gaze, shoulders slumping a little in defeat. "His name is Magnus. He's new here; I think he only arrived the weekend just gone. I offered to show him around, we went go-karting, ate dinner and now I'm back. End of story", he added, a tone of finality creeping into his voice.

"Oh no dear brother, it's not "end of story", you barely told me anything", Isabelle exclaimed indignantly.

"I told you what we did, what more do you need to know?"

 _Gosh, he really is clueless,_ Izzy thought as she examined the genuine confusion clouding his bright blue eyes.

"What he looks like would be a good place to start. I can't believe there's a new kid I haven't met yet."

"Um...well...he's taller than I am, caramel skin, and the features of his face suggest he may have some form of Asian heritage but I haven't asked yet. And Izzy, I'm surprised you haven't seen him either; he wears the brightest clothes I've ever seen and styles his hair with glitter, not to mention that his skill with a makeup brush could give you a run for your money". He added the last sentence teasingly, though he blushed a little at all that he had said, shifting uncomfortably as she stared at him, mouth hanging open slightly, eyes open wide.

But she couldn't help it.

 _Damn,_ she thought, _I was thinking they were just friends, but I wasn't expecting this!_ A bright grin spread across her face as she grabbed her brother's arm excitedly, leaning in to state accusingly: "You like him don't you?"

"No" came his quick denial, his face blushing and giving away his deceit.

"Sure", Izzy drawled, giving him a 'don't lie to me' look. "You just happened to pick up on _all_ those details because you haven't been checking him out _at all_. I got you".

Their eyes met in a battle of wills before Alec threw himself back on his bed, covering his face with his hands as a groaned. "Yes, okay? I like him." He paused for a little while before he added in a small, unsure voice; "but I don't know if he likes me."

Izzy knew she was in dangerous territory. Her brother didn't often open up, but when he did it could be easy to scare him off. Until now she had been teasing him a little, but the vulnerability in his voice at his last words suggested that teasing would just make things worse. So she did what any sister would do, she laid back with him, holding his hand as she gave him a little smile.

"Why do you think this?"

He stared intently at the ceiling as he replied. "Because he said, "I think we're going to be great friends", nothing more".

"But?" Isabelle could tell from his body language that there was more to this story that he hadn't told her.

He glanced at her hesitantly before adding, "because I think he keeps flirting with me, but I'm not too sure."

Izzy nodded along at his words. _This_ was something she could help with.

"Okay, what does he do?"

Alec stared at her with wide eyes, a blush forming on his cheeks. "I-I don't really want to um talk about this Izzy", he stuttered out.

Izzy just rolled her eyes at his shyness. "Well do you want to know if he likes you or not?"

She could practically see the gears turning in his head while he thought about her words. Excruciatingly long minutes passed before he slowly said, "he keeps winking at me, and calling me names like 'darling'. And then, erm, there was this, uh, text".

Izzy internally cheered at this. All of these were good signs, but the text could tell her so much more. "Well what did it say? If you want my help you can't keep details from me, Alec!"

"I never said I wanted your help", he grumbled as he fished his phone out of his pocket.

Izzy quickly scanned the text, her face lighting up in happiness as she did. "Okay. This is good" she declared, her tone serious as she handed him his phone back, pulling him upwards into a sitting position so she could talk more seriously.

"You think?" The hesitant hope in his eyes almost made her cry, but she refused to let him see.

"Definitely. It seems that he likes you, and I think offering to bring me to lunch was more for your benefit; perhaps he thought it would make you comfortable?" Alec looked like he was about to say something, but she held up a hand and finished what she had to say. " _BUT_ , I can't be sure, so here's what we're going to do. Tomorrow we will meet him for lunch, I will bring a couple of friends, and I will watch how he interacts with you. _Then_ I can give a more accurate opinion."

Alec still looked a little unsure of her plan. "Are you sure? What if he doesn't like me and we've got it all wrong? And anyway, what if he _does_ like me? I'm not exactly 'out', am I? Do you really think he would want to date someone who won't even admit to anyone he's gay?"

Izzy was slightly annoyed by his questions. "Okay, I'm going to stop you there Mr. Pessimist. First, even if he doesn't like you there'll be other people there so it's not like he'll figure out you like him. Second, if he isn't willing to wait until you're ready to come out then maybe he isn't the right person for you. And third, maybe you could start telling people? You thought it was the end of the world when I found out, but you're still here, why not start with Jace and Will, and work your way out?" She knew this last statement was a long shot, but she thought it was worth a try. The horrified look on his face told her all she needed to know.

"No Izzy, how many times do I have to tell you? I am not ready to tell anyone, and I especially don't want to tell Will and Jace."

Izzy was confused by this. "Why? They're your closest friends Alec, they love you. Besides, Jace doesn't care that Will is bisexual, I don't think either of them will leave you because you're gay."

Alec looked at her pleadingly before turning away again, shoulders slumping a little as he seemed to withdraw into himself. "I'm just not ready Izzy, please just drop it".

Izzy sighed, she could see she had pushed her brother too far tonight so she decided to quit while she was ahead. She held him in a tight hug before she got up to leave, turning to him when she was at the door. "But we're going to meet Magnus for lunch tomorrow, okay?"

She was glad when Alec gave her a small smile. "Okay".

***  
The morning lessons seemed to drag by too slowly for Izzy. That morning she had picked out her brother's clothes for him. Nothing _too_ flashy, she knew he wouldn't like that, but she thought a decent outfit might help her gauge Magnus' opinions of her brother. The jeans were still black, yet while they weren't exactly skinny, they were a little tighter than he usually wore; his black shoes not quite as beaten up as the pair he had on yesterday. She also let him wear a jumper, but this one was without a hood, hugging his body with deep blue wool.

She all but ran out of her classroom when her photography teacher let them go for lunch. Alec had told Magnus last night that they would eat with him on one of the benches outside. _Good choice brother_ , she thought as she chose a table. There were less people outside so as to give an air of privacy, but still enough to prohibit an intimate atmosphere.

The friends Izzy asked to join them were the first to approach, and Izzy could see them from a mile away, the girl's frizzy red hair standing out against the autumn sunlight. Simon and Clary were in the same year as her, though both a year younger. She thought they would be perfect for this little gathering. She liked them both greatly; they were kind, amusing and most importantly friendly. Simon was a little quiet, full of puns and references that Izzy didn't always understand while Clary was surprisingly bubbly, constantly chatting and insanely passionate about art. She hoped that they would get along with her brother, but from what she knew about them, she believed they would.

Alec was the next to arrive. To anyone who didn't know him he would appear nonchalant, not bothered by the situation. But Izzy knew her brother. She could see the rigid way he held his shoulders, the tense hold of his mouth and the way he was only half listening as she introduced her friends, smiling a little in polite greeting.

The introductions had only just ended when Izzy saw someone who, judging by her brother's description yesterday had to be Magnus. Her eyebrows rose a little when she took in what he was wearing. He had artfully ripped maroon skinny jeans on, accompanied with a cream and gold coloured patterned top and chocolate brown suede ankle boots. His hair was loose around his face, but even from this distance Izzy could see the glitter that coated it. She smiled a little at the excited wave he gave Alec as he approached, making sure her face was neutral by the time he arrived.

She took the time Alec used introducing Magnus to everyone to study his face. Her brother was right; his skill with a makeup brush was evident. His blush was bold but not overbearing, his winged eyeliner was exceptionally neat, and his eyeshadow blended immaculately in a dramatic combination of gold, browns and reds. During her examination, she could see why her brother liked him; his face had a beautiful structure and his eyes were mesmerising.

 _But enough of this, Izzy, you're here to see if he likes Alec back._

So she watched. She made sure to add to the conversation, complementing his outfit and asking him to go shopping with her. But at the same time, she kept one eye on how he interacted with her brother. How he sat leaning towards him, his attention fixed solely on Alec whenever her brother spoke. How he would wink and smile at him, his grin becoming a little more pronounced every time he made Alec blush. But more importantly, she watched how every time Alec turned to talk to Simon (the two had surprisingly gotten along quite well), Magnus would follow him with his eyes, seeming to analyse him as thoroughly as Izzy was looking at him. He would always dart his eyes away every time he thought that Alec was about to turn back around, but once Alec turned away again, his cat-like eyes would focus on him once more.

Izzy barely held in her enthusiastic cheers every time this happened. She actually choked on her drink the first time it did, hastily pulling herself together once her brother sent her a furious glare. But she couldn't help it!

 _Magnus likes my brother!_

She couldn't be happier.

* * *

 **A/N-**

smilie1smilie1 **-** Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it!

Guest- Thank you. Glad you enjoyed it! They are definitely 100% adorable.


	7. Chapter 7- Magnus' Dilemma

_**A/N-**_ Hello! This chapter is a bit shorter than the others. I was going to add some scenes with Magnus/Will interacting but I felt it didn't really fit into this chapter well, so I'll be putting them in at a later date. As always, thank you for reading, I hope you like it and let me know what you think.

 **Disclaimer:** All the characters belong to Cassandra Clare.

* * *

What _do I do?_ Magnus thought as he sunk to his bedroom floor, gently banging his head against the closed door. _This shouldn't have happened._

And really, he didn't mean for it to. It just crept up on him, slowly and imperceptibly until he could no longer deny the truth of his circumstances.

He liked two guys.

And even worse? It seemed that they both liked him too.

Of Will's affections he was certain. The boy was bold and openly flirted whenever the two had their form group together or grabbed a coffee after school. But he wasn't too sure about Alec. The boy was undeniably shy and clearly closed off. At times Magnus wasn't even sure that Alec was gay, but then the blue eyed boy would give him a gentle smile, or would blush a deep crimson at one of Magnus' flirtatious smirks, and Magnus would once again believe that Alec liked him too.

 _I shouldn't have flirted with both of them,_ Magnus groaned as he stretched his long legs out in front of him.

But he hadn't thought anything of it. It started out playful, the sort of flirting Magnus and his friends used to do at his old college when they were bored or just wanted to tease each other a little. He wasn't too sure when things changed; it could have been the middle of the week, or it could have been as recent as this morning. All he knew was that he had to choose. It wasn't fair to either of them, and he _really_ didn't want to be the guy who strung people along.

He just didn't know how to choose between them.

On the one hand there was Will. Over the week they had grabbed coffee twice, taking the opportunity to talk and get to know each other a bit better. Magnus thought that the two of them got on well. They shared a lot of qualities; both of them liked socialising and going to parties and they both gave off a certain air of confidence. But more than all their similarities, Magnus liked his sense of humour; the greatly inappropriate quips he would suddenly come out with or the witty one liners he would casually drop into conversation. He always laughed when he was with Will. He liked to laugh. When he did, even just for a moment, he could forget the loneliness that threatened to creep up and suffocate him if he didn't keep it at bay.

Magnus thought about a conversation he had had with Will earlier in the day. The blue eyed boy had asked him seriously after they had finished with their coffee whether they could be more than friends. In that moment, with hopeful blue eyes looking at him, Magnus was tempted to say yes; but he knew that would be the wrong answer. In all their conversations they never touched on anything too personal, Magnus opting to keep his confident facade in place as they laughed and joked and covered less intimate matters such as at which point it was acceptable to pour milk into a cup of tea. And so he told Will (one again) that he still needed time to get to know him better. He hoped Will understood.

Yet although Alec was drastically different to both himself and Will, strangely this is what drew Magnus to him. The clothes designed to purposefully hide him away, the quiet way in which he would speak and the unconfident way in which he would hold himself. All of these intrigued Magnus; he didn't understand how the boy had such little self confidence. Yet unlike Magnus who, for all his flashy clothes and extroverted nature, managed to constantly hide how he felt, Alec was an open book. His eyes constantly betrayed how he felt, and Magnus always felt himself relaxing when he realises this, trusting the blue eyed boy a little more each time he notices the underlying honesty which has a permanent home in the blue orbs. With Alec, he could broach more personal matters. Perhaps not those that he keeps closest to his heart, but still, he would discuss things he never discusses with other people.

 _And this is where the dilemma comes in,_ Magnus thought resignedly.

Will represented safety. His manner and attitude was a combination Magnus had dealt with many times before. He knew that things would go okay if they were to try to be more than friends.

But Alec scared him. He was the unknown. A path he had never set foot on before, where he didn't know the way and was in constant danger of being left stranded and alone. Magnus thought a relationship with Alec could be good for him; he may be the very person who manages to get him to open up. Yet at the same time, Magnus feared that it would end in disaster. He didn't want to get hurt again.

Magnus knew he was at a cross roads. He could go with Will and have the type of relationship he knows only really lasts a couple of months before it fades out, or he could go with Alec and try for something deeper. The former would entrap him in the never ending feeling of loneliness he always felt, the latter offering him what may be his only chance to escape.

He _had_ to choose. He _had_ to take that first step.

He just didn't know what it would be

* * *

 **A/N-** Dear Guest- It's possible we may see some plotting from Izzy at a later date.


	8. Chapter 8- The beauty of ignorance

**A/N-** Hey! Here's the next chapter; I really hope you all like it. As always, thank you to everyone who has read this.

 **Disclaimer:** Characters belong to Cassandra Clare.

* * *

"Road trip, baby"; Jace exclaimed as he climbed into the passenger seat of the car, Will taking a seat in the back.

Alec chuckled, rolling his eyes and shaking his head a little as he pulled away from his house. "I would hardly call a thirty minute drive a road trip, Jace".

"Oh shush you buzz-kill", but the blond was smiling as he looked at Alec, taking in the barely concealed excitement in his friend's blue eyes.

Alec loved archery; everyone who knew him knew it was one of the things he was most passionate about. He had started when he was seven. Having gone to the range for Jace's birthday, the young boy had been enthralled with the sport, begging his parents to let him take lessons. After a couple of months, it became clear that Alec had some talent with a bow and arrow, and what started as a two hour lesson once a week, became four hours, then six and then eight hours as he became more determined to improve. By the time he was ten he had his own target set up in his back garden, allowing the eager boy to practice every day. Soon, he began to hit the bull's eye more often than not, but he didn't have the confidence to enter competitions. That was, until he was fifteen and his two friends thought it would be a great idea to enter him in a county competition without telling him; Alec only becoming aware of this when they arrived at the venue. But he won, and from that moment on, Alec wasn't so reluctant to compete. He didn't win every competition, but he had amassed quite a trophy collection. It was one of the only things Alec let himself be proud of.

It was because of this excitement that when the three friends arrived at the archery club half an hour later, he was the first one to jump out of the car, bouncing impatiently as he waited for the other two to join him, walking two steps ahead of them as they went to collect some bows and arrows.

"Alec slow down, it'll still be there if you arrive thirty seconds later". Will was slightly amused by Alec's eagerness, though the smile he bore as he said it suggests he was just glad to see his friend happy.

"Whatever Will", Alec dismissed, a wicked grin lighting up his face. "How about a bet, loser buys everyone dinner?"

Alec's grin didn't slip when faced with Jace's reply. "How is that fair when you'll clearly wipe the floor with us?"

"Not if it's you two against me", Alec replied.

"Feeling cocky today, Lightwood?"

Alec took his position in front of the target, getting his stance ready and drawing his bow back. "Nah, you're both just terrible".

Jace and Will quickly looked at each other, deciding on their course of action. "Well if that's how you're going to be, challenge accepted my dear friend".

Will had never regretted anything more as he watched Alec's arrow hit the bull's eye straight on.

They had spent three hours in front of the target, and no one was surprised by the result; Alec coming out with 40 more points than both boys combined.

"Remind me never to accept one of Alec's archery challenges again. I don't think my bank balance can cope with it", Jace grumbled as the waitress brought their food over.

"Oh stop whingeing it's not that bad", Alec grumbled around a mouthful of grilled steak.

"Says the guy who doesn't have to pay and so chose the most expensive thing on the menu", Will muttered, looking miserably at the simple sandwich he allowed himself to have.

Alec rolled his eyes at his friends' dramatics. "Don't act like you wouldn't have done the same AND ordered extra sides and starters. Now quit your moaning before I decide to get the most expensive dessert as well."

They ate in silence for a while, Will and Jace polishing off their measly sandwiches fairly quickly while Alec deliberately took his time with his mixed grill, taunting his friends as they glared at him from across the table.

"No one likes a bad winner Alec", Jace grumbled as he attempted to swipe a chip from Alec's almost empty plate.

The blue eyed boy simply shrugged his shoulders in response. "Could say the same about bad losers". Although deep down, looking at their dejected faces and meagre lunches, Alec started to feel a little sorry for them.

 _One day, I'll learn not to give in so easily_ , Alec thought.

Today was not that day.

"If I buy us all dessert will you two at least try to smile".

"YES!" They enthusiastically cheered in unison.

Once they had ordered their desserts with the waitress, Will and Jace getting their revenge by choosing the most expensive sundae they could find, the three friends finally took the chance to catch up with each other.

"So Alec," Jace began, "what have you been up to this week? You usually join us for lunch every day, but we only saw you three times."

Alec met Jace's gaze straight on, not fully able to decipher the emotions that were flooding his golden eyes. There was genuine curiosity and a slight hint of teasing, that much Alec could instantly make out. But there was an underlying feeling in those eyes, almost akin to hope or desperation, and Alec couldn't understand why that would be there. However, a quick glance at Will revealed that he was feeling much the same way.

 _Well that's strange._

Alec felt a blush building on his cheeks at all the attention he was getting as he forced out a stuttered response. "I um, met someone on Monday and decided to spend some time with them".

Almost immediately, Alec realised that was the wrong response, especially coupled with the fact that he avoided all eye contact with them. The way his friends' eyes widened, their mouths hanging open as they shared a celebratory high five told Alec that they had very much leaped to the wrong conclusion. But once they got started, there was very little Alec could do to stop them.

"Our little Alec's all grown up!"

"I can't believe you're seeing someone!"

"What's her name?"

"Do we know her?"

"What does she look like?"

"How old is she?"

"How did you meet?"

"When are you going to-"

"WOULD YOU BOTH JUST SHUT UP A MINUTE?"

Alec was starting to get annoyed at his friends, not only because they wouldn't let him speak, but also because they just assumed that if he was seeing someone it would be a girl. Alec supposed he should be glad about this, it meant that he was hiding his secret well. But he couldn't rid himself of the acid like taste in his mouth, or the sick feeling in his stomach every time he lies to them. He doesn't want to lie to them anymore.

 _Soon. I will tell them soon, but not now_ , Alec promised himself.

Will and Jace had clamped their mouths shut, leaning towards Alec as they waited for him to speak, their desserts discarded and beginning to melt in front of them.

"If you two would let me speak, I would have told you that we are just friends. He's new here and I accidently bumped into him on his first day. Since he doesn't seem to know that many people, I thought I'd sit with him. **That's all**."

Alec emphasised those last two words in response to what he believed to be the teasing smiles his friends were sporting, smiles which screamed 'yeah, sure you're _friends_ '. But for once, Jace and Will were not being sarcastic or teasing, they were genuinely happy. After all their worrying that Alec would refuse to socialise, their friend had gone out and spent time with someone. They began to believe that perhaps they wouldn't have to worry any more.

"Wait. Do you mean Magnus?" Will questioned Alec with an eager look on his face which immediately set Alec on edge.

"Yes", he replied hesitantly. "Do you know him?"

Jace chuckled at this. "If by 'know' you mean, has he kissed him and started crushing on him, then yes, Will _knows_ him".

Will sputtered defensively at Jace's comments, turning to his friend with a scandalised expression on his face. "I am not 'crushing on him', as you so eloquently put it. Yes, I think I'm starting to develop feelings for him, but it is much more than a mere crush; and I would implore you not to make fun of me for it".

Alec could tell the two of them were gearing up for an argument, their words getting more heated as they started to lean towards each other. But Alec wasn't listening to them. He couldn't hear them. Their angry tones were lost in the sound of his heart shattering, his friends' words echoing and multiplying in his head until they threatened to deafen him.

 _Kissed him? Feelings? Kissed him. Feelings, feelings, feelings, feelings._

 _What about mine?_

NO.

Alec couldn't do it. Will was like a brother to him. Alec had been there when Will had had his heart broken, when he had seen, for the first time, the vulnerability that Will spends so long hiding away from them all. Alec wouldn't be the cause of his pain. His friend deserved to be happy, and if that meant that he and Magnus could only be friends, then that is what would happen.

Alec was resolute when he decided this, violently shoving his ice cream into his mouth as he tried to use the cold dessert as a distraction from his pain. He didn't talk for the rest of the meal and during the ride home; it took too much energy to keep his fake smile plastered on his face. If Jace and Will noticed anything was wrong, they didn't say anything, and Alec was grateful for this. He was also grateful for the fact that his sister was nowhere to be seen when he got back home, allowing him to escape into his room before his tears started to fall.

He didn't know how long he cried for, but eventually he ran out of tears and was left with an aching emptiness which wouldn't go away. Alec didn't regret his decision, Will was his friend, and if Will had already kissed Magnus then it must mean that Magnus liked him back. He wouldn't come in between that.

 _It doesn't mean it doesn't hurt though._

* * *

 ** _A/N-_** kaciegayle- thank you, I'm glad you're enjoying the story. It's safe to say things won't be easy.


	9. Chapter 9- Under the willow tree

**A/N-** Hi everyone! I'm really sorry I didn't update last week, things got busy. BUT I really hope this chapter makes up for it. As always, thank you so much for reading, but today I have a request. I'd like to know what your first opinion of Robert is?

 **Disclaimer:** Characters belong to Cassandra Clare.

* * *

It was only lunchtime, but Alec was already exhausted. He hadn't slept much the night after his trip with Will and Jace; his dreams were constantly filled with golden-green eyes. He had hoped that he could catch up on sleep the following night, but his father had been home for dinner, and his dreams were filled with words he had always dreaded hearing. He let out a shaky sigh as he went outside. It was a cold day today so most people decided to eat indoors, leaving Alec free to sit wherever he wants. He knows Magnus and his sister will be waiting for him at what has become 'their table', but he isn't strong enough to sit there and act like his heart hasn't been trampled on twice in the past 48 hours. So he decided to hide.

Ordinarily he would choose the little alcove, but since he knew Magnus had found that, he knew it would be the first place the colourful teenager would to try to find him. So Alec chose plan B. On the other side of the gardens there is a huge willow tree, the branches forming a thick curtain which brushes against the leafy floor. It doesn't make one completely invisible, but unless you were deliberately looking (which, focused on their friends or their phones, most people _aren't_ ) you couldn't tell someone was in there. It was perfect for this occasion.

Ensuring that Magnus and his sister weren't already outside, Alec made a quick dash for the tree, settling himself against the trunk and pulling out his notebook and his sandwich. He wasn't really hungry, but knowing he would feel worse if he didn't eat he began to take large, tasteless bites out of his sandwich. He flicked to the last page in his notebook, intending to write something, _anything_ , which could lessen the vice clamped around his heart, but as he put his pen to paper, the words just couldn't come. Instead, with a gentle, pain-filled sigh he slipped the notebook away, leaning his head against the tree, shutting his eyes as he let the peace and tranquillity soothe him.

That is until he was rudely interrupted.

"Are you okay, Alec?"

Alec internally groaned at the smooth voice. _Brilliant. Fan-bloody-tastic. Overjoyed that the one person I was trying to avoid has managed to find me._

"Fine", he replied in a clipped tone, not opening his eyes or moving his head. His eyes remained defiantly closed as he heard the other boy move towards him, as he felt him settle down next to him, their shoulders brushing together as they sat side by side.

"Well, you don't look it".

Alec reluctantly opened his eyes when he realised that Magnus wasn't going away, turning his head a little until he met Magnus' green eyes. The other boy wasn't wearing much make up today, just a small hint of eyeliner and a clear lip-gloss, but Alec had to admit, he preferred the natural look.

 _Get a grip Lightwood, you can't think like that anymore. Remember?_

Instead, he chose to ignore Magnus' comments. "Are you going to find all my secret sanctuaries?"

Magnus gave him a small smile. "Maybe".

There was a long pause, not uncomfortable as it was the first time they met, and not companionable as when they were eating the day Alec was showing him around. It was just sad, a blanket of heartbreak and pain which threatened to engulf them both.

"I'm not going to pry Alec, and I won't speak. I know you probably came to be alone, but I can tell there's something wrong and you shouldn't have to fight through it on your own. So I'm going to sit here and draw, and you can talk to me if you need to." Alec was stunned by the sincerity behind Magnus' gentle smile as he said this. He briefly wondered if Magnus was expecting him to reply, but true to his word, he simply took out his notebook and started to draw, eyes glued to his work.

Shutting his eyes and tilting his head back a little, Alec tried to organise his thoughts. Did he want to talk? No. But would it help him to? Probably.

Alec just didn't know what to talk about, or how to bring it up. He could picture it now, just blurting out; _hey, I know we're just friends but I think you're really hot and I was starting to really like you but then I found out that you've already kissed my best friend and I don't want to hurt him so I'm just stuck here pretending I'm okay with just being your friend when really my heart is breaking into a million tiny pieces._

Alec internally snorted. Nothing would make the green eyed boy run away quicker and then he'd lose him as a friend, not just as a potential boyfriend. Alec thought it might be safe to bring up what happened with his dad, but then that would involve bringing up something _else_ Alec deliberately refuses to discuss. And if Alec was being honest, he wasn't entirely sure if he was ready for that conversation either.

 _Why is this so complicated?_

Alec opened his eyes slowly; tripping on the words he wanted to let out but didn't know how. Instead of speaking, he decided to take the opportunity to admire Magnus' outfit whilst the other boy was absorbed in his work. He started with the peppermint green jeans and sequined silver shoes. He couldn't really see his t-shirt from the side, but the glimpses he caught suggested a design in a multitude of colours. Alec always liked Magnus' clothes. He wouldn't wear them himself, but he thought it suited Magnus. They were bold and brave.

Brave.

 _I can be brave_.

"I'm gay".

There was a pause. Magnus slowly closed his notebook on his lap, turning his gaze to the blue eyed boy sitting next to him.

Alec kept his eyes firmly on his lap; he could feel himself starting to panic. He had hoped that Magnus would say something, but he's just sat there quietly and Alec doesn't know why. He's too scared to look. His breath has become shallow and rapid, his pulse rising and his hands shaking. He can feel tears forming in his eyes, and he bites down harshly on his lip as he squeezes his eyes closed, willing the tears to go away.

 _Why won't he say something? Why hasn't he-_

Alec jumps as warm, steady hands close around his, trying to stop him from shaking.

"It's okay Alec, calm down and try to breathe deeply for me okay?" He paused, waiting for Alec to nod in the affirmative and take several deep, steadying breaths which at least took the boy away from the brink of a panic attack.

Eventually Alec calmed down enough to open his eyes and look at the colourful boy next to him. Magnus simply returned his gaze, his green eyes gentle and supportive; a kind smile at the edges of his lips.

"I appreciate your trust Alec. I'm bisexual". Alec marvelled at how simply he said it, without a build up, without so much as a pause or blush.

Magnus gripped Alec's hands a little tighter at his next question. "Does anyone else know, Alec?"

The blue eyed boy dropped his gaze, a sad and withdrawn edge creeping into his voice. "Just my sister. What about you?"

Magnus chuckled a little at this, not cruelly, but he had thought that his clothes would have shown Alec that he wasn't going to hide away from anyone. "I've been open about it since I was 15, I told my mum a little bit before that though". As Magnus said those words so carelessly, as if they were insignificant, he could not have known the impact that they would have on his companion. Not until Alec's shoulders sagged, and his breath caught on the word "mum". Not until he had quickly turned his head away, but not before Magnus had a chance to see the tears that crawled down his perfect cheek. Not until Magnus was sat there, his arm wrapped around a boy who just needed someone to understand as he cried his pain away.

Magnus' eyes widened in concern as he took in the sobbing boy, panicking a little as he tried to calm him down. "Alec, I'm so sorry! Did I say something wrong?"

Noticing the panic and guilt in Magnus' voice, Alec turned to face him with a watery smile on his face. "No not at all". Alec had stopped crying now, and the two teenagers sat in silence as he tried to get his breathing under control, his breaths sometimes catching on small hiccups.

Magnus knew Alec had more to say, he could see it in his eyes. But he also knew that pushing him might make things worse, so he sat by his friend patiently, waiting for him to talk in his own time, and eventually he did.

"I've known I was gay since I was about twelve. I panicked at first, but after a couple of months I accepted that there was nothing that would change that. But I was terrified of people finding out. You have to understand Magnus, I've always been shy and quiet, my friends limited to three, including my sister. I never felt confident around people, and this just made things seem worse. That's how my sister found out. She was young, but not stupid. She saw as I drew away from people more, and started hiding myself behind my clothes or in a book. Eventually she cornered me in my room and demanded to know what was happening. I didn't want to tell her at first, but I was tired and I needed my sister back, so I told her everything. She just sat and hugged me, and that was that. She dragged me to go and play hide and seek with her. But I've never wanted to tell anyone else."

Magnus watched as Alec talked, letting the teenager say everything that he needed to. He watched as he smiled a little while recounting his sister's reaction. But there was a storm that had settled in Alec's eyes, and Magnus knew that Alec hadn't started on what upset him today.

Alec's eyes met Magnus', and when the boy spoke next it was as if he had read Magnus' mind. "I guess you're wondering what this has to do with why I'm upset. I've never told anyone else because I thought that the more people knew, the bigger the chance that word would get back to my parents". Alec paused here, dragging in a shaky breath, and Magnus finally understood why Alec had been so upset by his mum's acceptance.

"My dad's not a bad person", Alec started defensively, his eyes pleading with Magnus to understand. "He spends all the time he can with us, he's gone to every competition I was in, told us he loves us and helped us when we needed it, but he has very strong beliefs in what he thinks is 'right and wrong'. He's quite old fashioned that way. And he's always been quite vocal about his stance on homosexuality, a stance which he decided to remind us of last night."

Magnus watched as Alec's breath caught, his eyes filling with tears as he recalled his father's words. "And it hurts Magnus, to think that his opinion of me will change the second he finds out, and I'm too scared to see what'll happen. Now he tells me that I can be what I want, that he'll support me no matter what I choose to do with my life, but I'm scared that if he finds out he'll change his mind."

Alec balled his hands into fists, crossing his arms as if he could physically hold himself together. "I don't want to lose him Magnus. He's done so much for me. He built a target in our garden when I wanted to practice my archery skills. When he saw that I would rather read than go outside he built me a den in the basement so I could sit by myself unbothered by anyone else. When I was terrified of the dark he would come and sit with me so I wouldn't be alone. He's the one who taught me how to drive. And when I wondered what I should do in life he always said that the most important thing was how you act, about whether you treat others kindly. He's always said that he's proud of who I am. But he doesn't _know_ who I am. What if all of this disappears when I tell him?"

Alec stopped talking then, breaking off on a choked voice as tears started to fall again. Magnus didn't know what to do to help him, so he did the only thing he could think of. He hugged him tightly and didn't let go until his tears had stopped once more.

"I can't tell you that your dad will be fine with you being gay Alec, I don't know the man to pass an opinion. But what I CAN promise is that you won't be alone. Your sister adores you; I can see it in her eyes every time she looks at you. And, well, now you have me too. If you want?" He added those last three words as if afraid that Alec wouldn't want his help, and Alec was touched by the sincerity of his words, offering the green-eyed boy a small, but genuine smile.

"Anyway, what about those other two friends you mentioned?"

"Oh you mean Jace and Will?" Alec's heart sank at the recognition he could see in Magnus' eyes, but he was overburdened with the fear of his dad's disapproval to dwell on it too long. "What about them?"

"Why don't you tell them?"

Alec's eyes widened in fear at the thought, his breath coming in shallow gasps and his heart beat accelerating once more. "No, I can't I'm not ready Magnus. I can't lose them. I **won't** lose them."

Magus put a gentle hand on his shoulder before standing up and brushing the leaves from his trousers. "It's okay Alec. You don't have to tell anyone if you're not ready. But I really don't think you'll have a problem with them. I mean, Will's openly bisexual, and it doesn't look like Jace has a problem with that. Just think on it", he added as Alec looked set to protest again.

Alec snapped his mouth shut, jerking his head in a quick nod before checking the time. 1:15. Alec didn't have any classes now, and the thought of going to the library where everyone could see his tear stricken eyes was out of the question. So Alec decided that he would remain in the refuge until his last class rolled around. As Alec was deciding this, Magnus was getting ready to leave, so the blue eyed boy stood up, grabbing the other's arm to stop him leaving.

"Thank you for listening", he spoke honestly and emotively. "And, um, I'll think about what you said", he added quickly, and not meeting Magnus' eyes, even when the green-eyed boy pulled him in for a fierce hug.

"It'll all be okay, Alec. You'll see".

* * *

 **A/N-** Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter!

Guest & kaciegayle- one of the things I love most about Alec is his loyalty. But I think one of the best things about him is how he learns to put himself first sometimes.

Kai: Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it and I'm so sorry for taking so long to update.


	10. Chapter 10- Confessions

**A/N-** Hello everyone! Look who's actually on time this week, AND with the second longest chapter of the story. A lot does happen, but since it all happens on the same day I didn't think splitting it into separate chapters was needed. As always, thank you so much for reading, and please let me know what you think.

 **Disclaimer:** Characters belong to Cassandra Clare.

* * *

A month had passed since Alec had opened up to Magnus underneath the willow tree, and Magnus was now sure of two things.

One; he had feelings for Alec. _Strong_ feelings. Over the past month he had texted Alec everyday; whether it was about trivial matters such as what they had eaten for dinner or the more serious topic of his father's stance on homosexuality. It broke Magnus' heart to think that such an incredibly kind person could lose a parent simply because of who he is, and he hoped with all his heart that Robert loved his son enough to accept him. They also ate lunch together (albeit with Izzy, Clary and Simon) three times a week, Alec opting to spend the other two days with Jace and Will. It was this that showed Magnus how much he had started to care for Alec. He missed him greatly when he wasn't there and often found himself turning to say something to an Alec that was across the school with his two best friends.

Which brings Magnus to conclusion number two; he has to tell Will things aren't going to work out between them, and he has to do it soon. The second Alec had mentioned that Will was one of his best friends he had started to panic. At first he had tried to convince himself that it must be another Will, but the logical part of his brain told him that Jace was far too uncommon a name for it to be a coincidence. As such, once he had made his way back home he knew the situation couldn't carry on as it was; it wasn't fair to anyone.

As a result, Magnus spent as much time as he could trying to figure out what he should do. After a month Magnus had come up with three possible solutions:

First, he could just carry on with things as they are, flirting a little with both of them in the hope that eventually one of them would move onto someone else. Magnus dismissed this idea almost as soon as he thought of it. He knew it was cruel to string them along and believed that the longer this was dragged out for the bigger the possible damage to their friendship would be.

Second, he could end things with both of them and settle for being their friend, that way he wouldn't get between two obviously close friends. Magnus also dismissed this idea fairly quickly. The more he thought about it, the more he came to realise that it would just upset all three of them. None of them would be with someone that they had started to develop feelings for (at least he hoped they had developed feelings for him), and Magnus believed that there was still the possibility that their friendship would suffer if either of them blamed the other for the loss of a possible relationship.

Thirdly, he could just pick one and call things off with the other. Magnus felt that this was fairly likely to impact on the other boys' friendship, but since he also believed that the other two options would do the same, the fact that it was the only option that held any hope for happiness was enough to convince Magnus that it was the one that he should go for.

Which is why Magnus is sat at their usual table in a small cafe down the road from their school, a strong sense of trepidation filling him with unease. He just _knows_ someone is going to get hurt

 _I'm a terrible person_ , Magnus thought miserably. He knew that the second he found out that Will and Alec were best friends he should have broken things off with one of them, but if Magnus was being honest, he just didn't know which way his heart wanted to go.

 _Until now_ , Magnus thought determinedly as images of bright blue eyes and a delicate blush forced their way into his mind. He just couldn't help but fear that he was going to ruin their friendship.

It was another ten minutes before Will entered the coffee shop, and Magnus hoped that he had managed to put a neutral expression on his face even if the smile he gave the blue eyed boy felt forced.

Magnus waited as Will ordered himself a cappuccino and a double chocolate chip muffin, silently cursing the fact that it had to be _today_ that the barista worked at the speed of light. In what felt like seconds, he was suddenly greeted with a cheerful smile as Will gracefully collapsed into the chair opposite him.

"So, did you hear about the Halloween party the school has decided to throw", Will stated by way of greeting.

 _Please, please don't let this go where I think it's going_ , Magnus pleaded. Magnus opened his mouth to try to tell Will why he asked him here before the pale boy could ask the damning question. But Will beat him to it, leaving Magnus to sit there as his self hatred grew and magnified to a point where he felt like he was going to be sick.

"I was wondering if you wanted to go with me. You know, as a date? We've spent the month hanging out and I just thought that perhaps we knew each other well enough now to give it a go?" Will looked at him with eyes so full of hope, a small genuine smile on his lips, that Magnus _almost_ couldn't let him down.

But he knew he had to.

He took a deep breath, forcing himself to hold Will's gaze instead of staring at the table.

"I can't Will", Magnus said in a quiet voice which he only just managed to keep from wavering.

"Oh, are you busy that day? Perhaps we could do something another day? OH, how about"-

"I meant that I can't go **with** you", Magnus cut the blue eyed boy off, hoping that the quicker he said it the less painful it would be.

He was wrong. He sat there silently as Will seemed to shut down, the light disappearing from his eyes, the smile vanishing from his face, the tension increasing in his body as he visibly forced himself to keep holding Magnus' gaze.

"Who is it?"

Magnus was thrown by this question, by how accurately Will had got it. But it wasn't his secret to tell, and Magnus knew he had to choose his next words carefully.

"Do you remember how I told you at the party that I promised myself I would be different?" Magnus paused and watched as Will nodded, a guarded look on his face and a cold determination filling his blue eyes. "I need to keep that promise Will, and you are too much like me. Don't protest", he added seeing that Will had opened his mouth to argue, "I know you see it too. So I'm hoping that since you _can_ see how we are similar, you can also see why I need to be different. Which is why, despite how obviously attractive you are and how much you do make me laugh, I can't be with you Will. We've never spoken about anything remotely personal in all of our meetings over the past month and a half, and I fear we never will. I hope you can understand".

Magnus searched Will's face for any sign of understanding, but if he did understand he didn't let it show. Instead he simply repeated his question from earlier.

"Who. Is. It?" Magnus could tell from the harshness in his voice that Will was not going to drop the matter.

"Someone I met a little after you."

"And what? You've been dating them this whole time? Trying to make me look like a fool, laughing behind my back at poor, stupid Will who can't even see when he's being played?" Will's voice had risen slightly by the end of this, the hurt and anger plainly visible to Magnus who was distraught that Will could think like that.

"No, of course not. We're friends. It's just that I've realised that I've got feelings for him"- Magnus broke himself off as he saw Will visibly flinch at this, yanking his hand away as Magnus went to hold it.

"I never meant to hurt you, you know".

Will let out a short, humourless laugh. "Well, congratulations you have". Leaving his cake and coffee untouched he abruptly stood up, snatching his bag out of the chair next to it, almost toppling it over in his haste to get away.

"Wait, Will don't leave like this. At least eat your cake." Magnus fell silent as Will fixed him with an icy glare.

"I can't be here anymore".

Magnus recoiled at the hurt in his voice. He knew that something like this was bound to happen, but that didn't mean that he liked hurting people. "Can we still be friends? I do like you, Will."

"Obviously not enough", was his curt reply as he all but ran out of the shop and down the street, leaving Magnus to sit there believing that he really was the worst person in the world.

* * *

It wasn't until Will had reached the park 30 minutes away from the school and coffee shop (where he knew no one from his school would be) that he finally allowed himself to cry; the warm, salty water dripping down his face and into the collar of his shirt as he made no move to wipe them away. He knew people were watching him but at this moment in time he just didn't care. All he could think about was Magnus' face as he told him that he wasn't enough. Again.

After a while, the look on Magnus' face as he told Will he had feelings for someone else morphed into a different, slightly happier memory of when the two had first met at the coffee shop.

" _Well fancy seeing you here?"_

 _Will turned around at the familiar voice, walking a step or two forwards as the queue to get his coffee began to move._

" _Hello Magnus"._

 _Will could see that the other boy was about to reply, but just then the barista asked Will for his order and he quickly asked for a hot chocolate before deciding to bite the bullet. "Would you like to join me for a drink", he asked without looking at the green eyed teenager._

" _I'll have a caramel late please". Will quickly glanced at his companion, smiling a little at the fact that he was willing to join him._

 _They were silent from this moment, but it wasn't uncomfortable; they both knew they had things to discuss which they didn't want the other people in the queue to overhear. Instead they stood and watched as their drinks were made, not uttering another word until they had located a small table in a secluded corner of the café. It was Magnus who broke the silence first._

" _I really am sorry you know"._

 _And Will could see it in his eyes, the deep rooted sincerity and the slight accent of hope, as if the colourful teen was afraid that he wouldn't be believed._

" _I know." Will was quiet for a moment as he thought about how to continue the conversation. After a while a thought came to mind and he felt a flirtatious smirk shape his lips. "You said you wanted to get to know me, now seems like a good time to start."_

" _It does indeed". The answering smirk he got was just as playful, and with it Will allowed himself to believe that maybe they could be more than friends after all._

Will painfully pulled himself from the memory, silently laughing at how wrong he had been. He could feel that his tears had started to flow faster and as much as he wanted to stop remembering it seemed that his brain had other ideas, and before he knew where he was his mind had summoned another image.

" _You know you should really meet my best friends properly, I think you'd love them"._

" _Is that so, Will?"_

 _This was the fourth time in two weeks that the pair of them had decided to grab a coffee together, and Will felt that in that time they had managed to get to know each other fairly well. They had covered all sorts of topics: favourite foods, films, colours, books, what their dream holiday would be, the worst holiday they had ever been on and many other things. Today the topic was friends._

" _Oh yeah, we have quite the record for our pranks getting out of hand". Will watched happily as Magnus let out a genuine laugh._

" _Like what?"_

 _Will was quiet for a minute. He wasn't lying when he had told Magnus it was quite a record. They were constantly pulling stunts on each other and it was difficult to choose which one was his favourite._

" _Hm. It's hard to choose. Now you may think that Jace and I are the trouble makers in my trio of friends"-_

" _Think", Magnus replied dramatically, "oh my dear William, I_ _ **know**_ _that you and Jace must be the trouble makers of the three of you"._

 _Will chuckled darkly at that. "You'd be wrong there my friend. See Jace and I...". Will paused here, he was a little embarrassed by what he was about to admit to, but if it would convince Magnus that he was actually the nice friend, well perhaps he could put up with a little humiliation._

" _Jace and you what?" Will was glad to see that Magnus seemed genuinely interested in what Will had to tell him. It gave him hope that perhaps Magnus was equally as interested in_ _ **him.**_

" _Well, we um, have a bit of a, er, serious phobia of, ah, ducks and"-_

" _DUCKS!" Magnus appeared in complete disbelief at the fact; and Will quickly jumped to defend himself before Magnus could tease him for it._

" _Yes ducks, they are horrendous creatures that deceive you into believing that they are innocent and friendly. Just like my traitorous friend. Now will you let me finish my story?" Will paused as Magnus nodded solemnly, pleased that he wanted to know how the story ended._

" _So, knowing that Jace and I have that particular phobia", Will paused to glare at his friend as Magnus began to chuckle, "he started to plan. Not a week after he had found out this piece of information, I was forced to stay with my lovely cousin for the weekend as my mother decided to redecorate my bedroom. Consequently", Will could feel himself becoming more dramatic as the story developed, but he didn't care; Magnus said he wanted to get to know him, and Will was told on a daily basis that he was a drama queen, so he continued as he was. "Consequently, Jace and I were sharing a bathroom and you can imagine the horror we felt early one morning when Judas was staying around when we wandered DEFENCELESS into the bathroom, our guard down and VULNERABLE, to find no less than FIVE beasts in our bathtub. Let me tell you"-_

 _Will was cut off here as Magnus could no longer contain his laughter. The colourful boy had been chuckling quietly throughout the story, but the second will had called the ducks 'beasts', he lost it. He had doubled over the table, laughing hysterically as his eyeliner ran down his cheeks._

Will looked around and was glad to see that he was still alone on his bench. The last thing he wanted was someone to come over to him while he was trapped in a never ending cycle of memories. Will liked the last one, he had always loved seeing Magnus laugh, and the fact that he could make him laugh so uncontrollably really helped him believe he could get somewhere with Magnus. And if he was being honest, Magnus made him laugh too, in a way that most other people never could.

" _You're kidding me right?" Will didn't know how he had managed to force the words out. He had been laughing for a solid five minutes and it was getting hard to breathe. His coffee sat unattended and his sides began to hurt, but he still couldn't stop._

" _Nope. I am deadly serious". Will liked watching Magnus tell stories about his friends. It was only the second one he had mentioned in the ten coffee meetings they had had together, but every time he mentioned them his eyes lit up and a radiant smile graced his face. It was nice to see that he cared so much about people._

" _I can't believe they did that!"_

" _Every single shirt Will. They just cut off the sleeves. To this day I still have no idea what I did to annoy them; I just hope I don't do it again. It's taken years to replace my wardrobe. And I like my clothes, if it was anyone else I would have really thrown a fit."_

" _And what if I were to destroy your clothes?" Will was being playful when he said this, but he hoped that it might give him some clue as to how Magnus felt about him._

" _Well", he watched as his colourful companion pretended to think, "I_ _ **suppose**_ _I could let you get away with it_ _ **if**_ _you bought me a raspberry and white chocolate chip muffin"._

Will had hoped that the light in Magnus' eyes and the genuine smile at his mouth meant that they had made progress, but clearly he was wrong. _Clearly I didn't mean as much to him as he meant to me_ ¸ Will thought bitterly. He immersed himself in those golden-green eyes, the tone of his voice and the pain in Will's own heart until he was no longer thinking about the other boy. The eyes had turned to brown, the voice more silvery but far crueller, but Will's pain was still there.

" _Do you really not understand Will," she asked exasperatedly, moving to stare out of the window, ignoring the tears that flowed down his face._

" _Where is this coming from? I thought we were happy! I thought"-_

 _She whirled on him._

" _You thought what? That I liked you? That I loved you? Don't be ridiculous", she said, laughing cruelly at the way his shoulders fell and he hiccupped on a sob that he tried to force back._

" _Then why?"_

" _Why what? Why was I with you?"_

 _Will gave her just the slightest nod._

" _I thought it was obvious."_

Will forced himself out of his reflection, noting how his tears had started to flow faster, leaving two obvious stains on his collar. An outward sign of the broken mess that he had become.

Will was glad that Jace had driven himself home. It was a 45 minute walk to his house and he knew he needed the time to calm himself down before someone realised something was wrong.

After he had been walking for five minutes Will was struck by a sudden need to be with his friends. He knew he wouldn't tell them what was wrong, but he knew that just being with them would make him feel better. Without thinking he took his phone out of his pocket, intending to ask them if they wanted to have a DVD night at his house.

Yet before he could do this, he was surprised to find that Alec had sent him a message while he was sat in the park, so deep in thought that he hadn't heard his phone go off.

 **Meet me at my house, ASAP.**

This instantly had Will concerned. Alec rarely asked people to do things, let alone _tell_ them; and the fact that he had worried Will greatly. It was with this growing unease that Will found himself almost running to get to Alec's quickly, praying that his friend wasn't in any serious trouble.

* * *

Alec was nervous. Scrap that, he was terrified.

It had been a month since he had spoken to Magnus under the willow tree. A month since he told him that he should tell Will and Jace that he is gay. Although he had rejected the idea immediately after Magnus had suggested it, Alec had spent as much time thinking about it as he could. Whether he was in the shower, eating, or travelling, he was mentally preparing a list of all the reasons he should tell them.

He would be free. He could be happy. And he could be brave.

Which is why Alec had summoned them to his house, the blue eyed boy having spent the last fifty minutes pacing around his living room as he wondered why Will hadn't turned up yet.

"Would you quit that pacing you're making me dizzy", Jace exclaimed exasperatedly.

Alec came to an abrupt halt, collapsing into the armchair opposite the couch as he tried to keep his eyes away from the clock. True to form, Jace had come hurtling through his front door barely five minutes after Alec had sent him the text, demanding to know if he was hurt and who he had to threaten. Alec was touched by his friend's concern; it gave him hope that things would be okay.

Without being aware of it his eyes snapped back to the overlarge clock hanging above the fire place, the cruel hands showing that only a minute had passed since he last checked.

 _Relax, he'll be here_ , Alec tried to convince himself. _And what if he isn't_ , a small part of his mind couldn't help but ask, _are you going to chicken out like you always do? Give yourself another reason not to tell them?_

 _NO._ Alec forced that small part of his brain to shut up. Even if Will didn't turn up, he would still tell Jace.

 _Then what are you waiting for?_

Finally meeting the golden eyes watching him with barely concealed concern, Alec cleared his throat with a small cough before he started to speak. "Look, Jace, there's something I need to tell you." Alec paused here, unsure how to finish the rest of his sentence, watching wearily as his best friend shifted on the couch, giving him his undivided attention. "I'm"-

"ALEC ARE YOU OKAY? WHO DO I NEED TO BEAT UP?" Alec internally screamed and cursed at his other best friend's terrible timing. Of course Will would choose that exact second to barge into his house.

"William you really do have the worst timing", Jace exclaimed dramatically. "Alec here was just about to confess to something". Alec was more than a little annoyed at the teasing tone of his friend's voice and simply hoped he would actually take what he had to say seriously.

"Was he? Wait, is this related to why we don't spend so much time together at lunch?" Will was beginning to look scarily excited by the end of his sentence, a fact which prompted Alec to try to intervene before his two friends charged full speed down the wrong path.

"Um. No. N-not really". _Damn it Alec why do you always have to stutter?_

Jace let out a dramatic gasp before leaping to his feet. "I've got it!" he exclaimed excitedly as he turned to point animatedly at Alec. "ALEC HAS A GIRLFRIEND".

Alec almost chocked as he felt himself turn pale at the thought. _Why is it, that they always immediately think I have a girlfriend,_ he thought as he remembered their onslaught of questions when they had last gone to do archery together.

"What? No this isn't"-

"YES. I can see it now! What's her name?"

"Do we know her?"

"Is she cute?"

"You guys have really"-

"How long have you two been together?"

"When can we meet her?"

"Seriously would you guys just shut up a minute?"

"DO YOU LOVE HER?" They both screamed excitedly.

"I'M GAY".

Alec visibly braced himself for the impact of what he just did. He had intended to tell them at his own pace, heck, he'd even had a little speech prepared about how he had known for years and he didn't want this to change anything between them. But since his friends were hurtling in completely the wrong direction without letting him explain anything, he did the only thing he could think of to get them to listen. He ripped off the plaster.

Alec thought the effect of his words was quite comical. Both of his companions immediately froze; excited faces turned towards him, their eyes opened wide and mouths hanging open slightly as their arms were thrown out wide in exclamation. It was, as usual, Jace who recovered first.

"Do you have a boyfriend then?"

"WHAT? No." Alec knew he responded too quickly for them to believe him. He also knew that the blush on his cheeks would have given him away immediately even if he _had_ been able to stifle his outburst.

"Yeah. Sure you don't". Will's tone made it clear that they hadn't believed his words at all.

Alec sighed in defeat. He had hoped that his outburst would steer the conversation away from any possible relationships, but it appears he was wrong. _I guess I'll have to tell them more than I planned to._

"Well there is this guy I like."

"YES". Both of his friends cheered in triumph.

"BUT", Alec interrupted them holding out a hand before they got too carried away. "He likes someone else and I don't want to get in the way of that".

Both of his friends looked at him sympathetically, and if Alec was being honest he hated that more than he hated the fact that he couldn't be with the only person he had ever wanted to be with. He didn't want their pity, but it looked like he was going to get it anyway.

"Oh man that's rough", Jace stated, placing a sympathetic hand on Alec's shoulder.

Alec watched as Will walked over to join them, pulling the other two into a group hug. "A DVD and ice-cream style rough?" He asked gently.

 _I will not cry_ , Alec thought to himself fiercely as he nodded his head slowly, an action which seemed to be the only thing needed to spur his friends into motion.

He watched slightly bemused as Jace dug out a blanket from the bottom drawer of the cabinet in Alec's living room while Will ran to get the dessert. He didn't know what to think of the fact that his friends hadn't commented on the fact that he is gay. He supposed that the ease with which they asked if he had a boyfriend should show him that they accept him as he is, but he couldn't mute the nagging voice in the back of his mind which is telling him that they haven't brought it up because they don't want to tell him they're not okay.

As his two friends returned, settling either side of him as the three of them burrowed under the blanket, he couldn't help but voice his concerns. "So, um, are you two okay with this?"

"With what?" Jace asked, looking at Alec with genuine confusion in his beautiful eyes.

"You know." He paused uncomfortably. "With me being, ah, gay".

A silence fell between the three friends as they silently looked at each other, Alec with fear in his eyes, Jace and Will with slight annoyance.

"We are a little angry at you, you know Alec", Will replied.

Alec felt his heart fall as tears began to sting his eyes. "Angry? Wh-why?"

Alec watched silently as Jace turned towards him a little more, sadness beginning to fill his golden eyes. "Did you really think we wouldn't accept who you are Alec?"

"Um well"-

"SHIT!" Will's loud exclamation caused Alec and Jace to glance quickly at Will, and Alec could only look on sadly as Will's eyes filled with horror as he turned towards his friend. "Please tell me this isn't why you've tried to hide away all these years? Why you stopped going out with us?"

"Well, um, I'm shy anyway, but this, uh, seemed to make it worse", Alec mumbled quickly, averting his gaze so he wouldn't have to look at his friends any more.

"Why did you feel like you needed to do that Alec?" Jace asked this softly, his voice more gentle than Alec could ever remember hearing it. And it was now, when he was finally sure that his friends wouldn't turn away from him, that he let his tears fall as he looked up to meet a golden gaze.

"Because I didn't want to lose you".

There was a long pain filled silence after Alec's confession, Alec's soft hiccupping sobs being the only sound in the room. Eventually his two friends enveloped him in a tight hug and Alec could feel tears which weren't his own soaking into his hair and shirt.

"We love you Alec, please don't forget that". Alec was touched by the heartfelt tone of Will's voice.

"So you're not going to leave", Alec asked hopefully.

"Nope, sorry buddy, you can't get rid of us that easily", Jace joked in an obvious attempt to lighten the mood.

"Damn straight", Will added, "It's the three of us, no matter what".

"I like the sound of that", Alec added quietly before the three friends settled down to watch terrible films and eat ice-cream until they could physically eat it no more. And it was in this moment, when he was sat enveloped by his best friends, and accepted for who he really is that Alec knew he had made the right choice. He couldn't throw this friendship away just for a relationship.


	11. Chapter 11- I Can't

**A/N-** Hello everyone! I am so, so sorry it's been so long; I honestly didn't mean for this to happen. On the plus side, I thought it might so I've written a couple of chapters ahead which means that even if I don't have any time to write, I can still give you all a chapter (at least) every 2-3 weeks. I can promise that I won't be giving up on this story, and that whenever I have time I will be working on it. That said, I hope you've enjoyed this story so far, and please let me know what you think.

 **Disclaimer:** Characters still belong to Cassandra Clare.

* * *

It had been two weeks since Magnus had ended things with Will and he still felt terrible, not only because Will was categorically ignoring him. Magnus hadn't lied when he said he liked Will; the boy was one of the few people who really made him laugh and he had hoped that after a little bit of time Will would be willing to be friends.

Oh how wrong he was.

Will never answered any of his texts or calls and would deliberately walk away from Magnus if the glittery teenager attempted to walk up to him in the corridor. Even when they were forced to sit together in their registration group, Will would deliberately angle his body away from Magnus, his posture making it abundantly clear that Magnus was not to attempt to engage him in conversation.

Yet this was not the only reason that Magnus was feeling terrible. The day after the disastrous meeting at the coffee shop, Alec had excitedly told Magnus that he had told Jace and Will that he was gay and that they had been fully supportive of him. Magnus wasn't surprised by this; from what he knew of Will and what he had heard of Jace he was convinced that Alec was too important to them for them not to accept him for who he is. Nevertheless, Magnus was genuinely pleased that things had gone well; Alec was an incredible person and no one deserved to be shunned for who they are. Magnus only hoped that things would go as well with Alec's parents if he ever chose to tell them. Yet despite this, the fact that things had gone so well with Alec's friends meant that Magnus didn't get to spend as much time with Alec as he wanted to; a fact which heighted the terrible mood he had been in since he ended things with Will.

Alec had been so delighted that things went well that in the first week after he told them, he had spent every lunchtime with them; Magnus only being able to see the blue eyed boy during the free periods they had together. Free periods where Alec insisted that he had to study, depriving Magnus of the opportunity to stare into his beautiful eyes and entice that innocent blush onto his alabaster cheeks. The second week was barely any better. By this point Alec knew something was bothering Will, and although he didn't know what it was, he was reluctant to leave his friend. Consequently, the only time Magnus managed to eat lunch with him was today- the end of the week- and Magnus was not happy about it.

 _Great way to sound like a complete douche there, Magnus. Break the guy's heart and then throw a tantrum because his best friend wants to make sure he's okay._

And if Magnus was being honest, the fact that Alec was determined to try and help his friend was just one of the many things that Magnus had come to admire about him. Slowly he had started to realise that his feelings for Alec were growing; that he missed the way he smiled and laughed, or the way he complained when he felt that Magnus was mocking him, when Alec wasn't there. Magnus had finally decided that he would ask Alec on a date. The school's Halloween party was approaching, and although he knew that Alec was nowhere near ready to go openly as a couple, he had hoped they could go together and then grab some dinner at a restaurant afterwards. He was fairly certain that Alec liked him as well (if the small smiles and bright blushes were anything to go by) yet he was unsure what Alec would say if he ever found out about Will. He didn't want to lie to Alec, he knew enough about the teenager to know that honesty was important to him; but he also didn't want to stop anything they could have before it even got a chance to get started.

Knowing that Will would put two and two together if he saw that they were suddenly dating Magnus settled on a course of action. He would ask Alec out and then, if things began to get more serious, he would tell Alec everything.

 _That way I wouldn't really be lying to Alec_ , Magnus tried to convince himself. _I would just be giving us a chance to become something. How can that be a bad thing?_

Yet no matter how hard he tried to convince himself, he just couldn't shake the feeling that he was treading on very thin ice.

"Hello? Earth to Magnus. Are you okay?"

Magnus was dragged out of his internal musings by an amused voice and a pale hand waving in front of his face. A little startled, Magnus dragged his head up from where he had been staring at the table to meet Alec's amused glance. Alec was looking particularly beautiful today. Although the boy clearly preferred black, baggy clothes he had decided to shake things up a bit. Today he had on a pair of denim jeans, not too tight and only slightly ripped, but still quite different from the baggy abomination he usually wore. His shoes were still black, but his t-shirt was an interesting tie-dye mix of indigo, blue and white. A combination which Magnus couldn't help but notice (not that he was staring or anything) did amazing things for his eyes.

He was once again pulled from his thoughts by Alec's delicate cough and raised eyebrows. _I really have to stop zoning out in front of him or he's going to get concerned._

"I'm fine darling, no need to worry."

"Really? Because you've not spoken for twenty minutes. I was beginning to think you'd forgotten I was there", Alec added playfully.

"I could never forget you, Alec". Magnus was surprised (and he could tell Alec was too, judging by the startled expression on the blue eyed boy's face) by the force behind his words. He knew Alec had been joking so he wasn't too sure why he had felt the need to assert his thoughts so strongly. Maybe it was the fact that Alec never seemed to notice how amazing he really was.

"You are far too important to forget. Don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise".

"Um...well...that's v-very kind of you to say so, Magnus". Alec's stuttered response, averted gaze and predictable blush made Magnus think once more of how adorable his companion was.

"You act as if it was a compliment", Magnus scoffed. "I was just stating a fact".

Magnus loved how Alec was rendered incapable of responding to his declaration, reduced as he was to a stuttering, blushing mess. What he loved even more was how happy this made him; the knowledge that he could have such a profound effect on someone. He had fallen for Alec and he knew it was time to take a leap of faith. He just hoped it wouldn't cause an avalanche.

"So Alec, have you got any plans for Halloween this year?" Magnus thought he would ease in slowly, hoping that this approach wouldn't scare him off before he had a chance to consider what Magnus was asking. Alec was shy; he knew that. He just hoped that he wasn't too afraid to give them a chance. Magnus really meant it when he said he believed they could have something good.

Alec didn't seem to be freaked out by the question. Magnus thought that must mean he really was clueless and had no idea where Magnus was aiming to go with this question or that he wouldn't mind doing something with him. Magnus really hoped it was the latter.

"You mean except watch the same Halloween films my siblings force me to watch every year?"

"I was thinking about checking out the Halloween party that the school is throwing and I was wondering if you wanted to come?" Magnus couldn't help the hopeful tone that crept into his voice by the end of his question; he only hoped it wasn't too obvious.

"Oh, I don't really like parties Magnus. You'll probably have better luck with my sister though".

 _Clueless it is then._

"You're really going to make me say it, aren't you?" Magnus couldn't help the exasperation that coloured his voice as he said this. The more he explained, the more he opened up his heart to being let down again, and he wasn't sure if he could take that again. Not from Alec.

"Say what?"

Magnus could see that Alec was genuinely confused by what was happening and wasn't trying to toy with him. It gave him hope that if he did open his soul to Alec, he wouldn't live to regret it. With this thought Magnus took a deep breath and braced himself for what he was about to confess.

"I like you Alec." Magnus could see the startled look on Alec's face but charged on before the blue eyed boy could interrupt; he had the feeling that if he didn't get it all out he would lose his courage and never say what he needed to. Staring at a fascinating engraving on the wooden table he forced himself to continue. "A lot. You're kind, honest and easy to talk to. I trust you Alec, more than I've ever trusted anyone. I'm not going to lie it scares me a little; after all we've only known each other a couple of months. But I know what I feel. I don't really care about the Halloween party, I just wanted an excuse to ask you on a proper date, but if you'd rather do something else I would be more than happy to."

There. He'd ripped the plaster off and it was time to see how much he would bleed.

With this thought Magnus finally allowed himself to meet Alec's intense gaze. The second he did he knew the answer. The sadness and resignation told him only one thing; he was going to get hurt worse than he ever had before. Only this time, he wasn't going to go down without a fight.

"Magnus, I'm sorry I can't. Please"-

"Why?" Magnus interrupted. He didn't want to give Alec the chance to talk himself out of trying. "Can you really look at me and tell me that you don't feel anything for me? After all the time we've spent together? I've seen you blush and smile when I flirt with you Alexander, why not just give it a shot? I know you don't want anyone to know, but do you really think that I would do anything to out you?" Magnus couldn't help but show his hurt at the thought; he had hoped that Alec knew him better than that.

"What?" Magnus was surprised by the sharpness of Alec's tone. "Of course I don't, how could you even think that?"

"Then why?" Magnus asked in a small voice.

He could see Alec fighting with himself. It looked like Alec really didn't want to say anything, but Magnus thought that he at least deserved to know why they couldn't _try_ being in a relationship. It eventually looked like Alec felt the same.

"I really do like you Magnus. How can I not? You're gorgeous, patient and understanding. You've given me the courage to do things I've spent years being terrified of. I am so glad I met you. I've never felt like this before, and it scares me as well. I don't trust people easily; I have a small circle of friends and very rarely give people personal information about myself. But with you it's different. I feel like I don't have to hide. I would love to go on a date with you Magnus..."

Alec paused here and Magnus knew that despite Alec admitting his feelings, he was still going to be rejected. He just wished he knew why.

"But I can't. I can't do that to Will."

 _Wait what? He knows about Will? Oh shit._

"What do you know about Will and I?" Magnus was cautious when he asked this, hoping that he could salvage some form of opportunity with the blue eyed beauty in front of him.

Alec was hesitant in replying, his discomfort evident in every millimetre of his body. "Um. That he really likes you. And that you two kissed at the start of term party. I guess that means that you like him too?"

Magnus let out an exasperated breath at this. He knew he had no right to be frustrated. He did bring this on himself after all. He _knew_ that what he was doing would lead to someone getting hurt. This was the consequences of his actions and he had to put up with it. The only thing he had to do was try to hurt Alec and Will as little as possible. He had clearly failed at this with Will. He would not allow himself to hurt Alec in the same way.

"I didn't mean for this to happen Alec, I'm so sorry. There are no words for how sorry I am. I didn't know you two were friends. I have a very flirtatious nature, which I think you've noticed, and back in London my friends and I would flirt all the time. And here I was on my first day and BOOM, two hot guys appear. So I did what I always do, I flirted. And then at the party, yes we kissed, but I was drunk by that point and I didn't let it go any further. And then something changed and all of a sudden I realised that my flirting was no longer playful, it actually meant something to me. And so I realised I like you both."

Magnus paused here to look into Alec's eyes, fearing the hatred and judgement he was sure he would find there. He was surprised to find that Alec's eyes were completely neutral. For the first time since Magnus had met him, Alec's eyes gave away nothing of what he was feeling. Magnus could only hope it was a good sign.

"Then I found out that the two of you were best friends and I knew things couldn't carry on the way they were. I knew it would hurt but I had to choose. I either see if I can make a relationship work with one of you or I could walk away from you both. I thought picking one would lead to the least amount of people being hurt. But I was wrong. I hurt Will when I told him we could only be friends two weeks ago. I've hurt you by putting you in the position where you felt like you had to choose between us. And I've hurt myself by losing two people who have come to mean a lot to me, even though I deserve it for what I've done to you two. I am so, so sorry Alec", Magnus finished quietly, his head bowed as tears threatened to fall.

"You don't deserve to suffer Magnus."

Magnus was surprised by the quiet voice that had spoken up. When he looked up he was even more surprised to not find any anger or disgust in Alec's eyes. Just sadness and understanding.

"But I've hurt you both so much".

Alec got up from the seat opposite Magnus and settled into the one next to him, taking one of Magnus' hands in both of his.

"You are not a bad person Magnus. From what you've told me it sounds like you didn't mean to hurt anyone. The situation just got out of control and I don't think you knew what to do with it. No one can blame you for doing what you thought was right." Alec looked up from their hands and gave Magnus a small smile before averting his gaze and blushing lightly. "Though I would like to know why you chose me."

Magnus was startled by this question but he owed Alec the truth. He was being far more understanding than Magnus had any right to ask him to be.

"It was hard to pick Alec, it really was. I like you both for such different reasons that in the end it came down to only one thing". He paused here and forced himself to meet Alec's vulnerable blue eyes. "You bring out a side of me I have never seen before. A side that I like. With you I am a person who doesn't care about going to parties or being popular. With you I feel like I don't have to hide everything about myself. Remember when I showed you the dress I drew?" Magnus paused here to allow Alec time to respond. "I have never shown anyone else one of my creations. That is why I chose you".

Silence fell between the two teenagers as everyone around them chattered and laughed their way through lunch, completely oblivious to the heartbreak that was happening around them.

"There were times when Will, Jace and my sister were the only people I could turn to. There were times when I felt so alone that all I wanted to do was lock myself in a room and cry. I would be surrounded by people and still feel like none of them would notice if I got up and left. Like none of them would care if I did. I have been on class trips and walked with people feeling more alone than I would have been had I chosen to walk by myself. It's not like that with Will and Jace. They do care. When I'm sad they just sit with me, never forcing me to talk about things they can tell I'd rather keep secret. I never feel alone with them, and there were times where being with them was the only thing that got me through the day. Will has been hurt before, Magnus. I don't know by who but I can't be someone who hurts him as well. I hope you understand." With this he moved so his tormented blue eyes were locked on Magnus' anguished ones.

"Please tell me you understand", Alec whispered.

Magnus gave him a sad smile. "I understand".

"Because I don't want to lose you as a friend as well. I can't Magnus."

"And you won't."

* * *

 **A/N- N** ow I don't know about you but I **really** don't think they should have had that conversation where _anyone_ could have overheard...  
And for those of you who left reviews: 

Shauna- Thank you, I'm glad you liked it.

Guest- They just understand each other.

ShamiksXa- Ummm. Will has his reasons, that's all I'll say.

WaNey- I am so sorry I took so long. When I saw your review (thank you so much, by the way) I was determined to get it up last week. But then everything got hectic. Anyway, I hope this can make up for it. And as for another story; I have some ideas floating around.

Unicorns268: Thank you, I'm glad you liked it.


	12. Chapter 12- Betrayal & Misunderstanding

**A/N-** Hello everyone! It's been a while I'm sorry. Thank you so much for still reading, I hope you've all liked it. As I said last time, updates might be a bit slow, but this story won't be abandoned. Please let me know what you think!

 **Disclaimer:** Characters still belong to Cassandra Clare.

* * *

He couldn't think. The only things he could see were the words that would be ingrained in his brain forever _. I would love to go on a date with you Magnus._ He heard the words over, and over and over again until they drowned everything else out and threatened to suffocate him.

 _I need to leave._

Will didn't know how but eventually he found enough strength to force his legs to work. Without paying much attention to his surroundings he felt himself start to run. He wasn't sure where he was going, and in that moment he didn't care. He just knew he had to be away from _them._

So he ran. Streets and buildings merged into one as his feet continued to beat at the pavement, his breathing becoming quick and shallow; the overexertion making his lungs and muscles burn. But even this couldn't mask the pain he felt in his heart.

Eventually Will couldn't continue anymore and he was surprised to find that he was sat at the same bench he had collapsed in after Magnus told him they couldn't date. Only this time there were no tears. He knew that he would cry later; the pain and betrayal he felt was too great. But right now he was too angry for the tears to come.

He couldn't believe that Alec would do that to him. He _knew_ how he felt about Magnus, and Will hadn't told him that Magnus had called it off, so Alec had no reason to suspect that nothing would come of Will's feelings. He had no way of knowing that Magnus had dumped him for someone else.

And suddenly, in a moment of agonising clarity, Will realised something.

 _Alec is the other guy._

And everything made sense. The lunch times that Alec had spent with Magnus. How happy Alec was the day after he showed Magnus around the town. The way that Alec's phone would chime and he would smile and blush at whatever it is that he had been sent.

 _The fact that Alec liked a guy who was interested in someone else._

Well, at least Will knew that last belief to be false.

Suddenly the anger in him grew to an intensity that he had never felt before, not even after Jessamine told him about everything she had done.

Alec was supposed to be his best friend. He was supposed to care about how he felt and support him when he was hurting. Will couldn't count the number of times he had sat and worried about Alec. About whether he would ever find someone to love, about how he would cope when they all went off to separate universities and they didn't see each other as often anymore.

That was actually what Will had wanted to talk to Alec about today at lunch. He had been concerned for a while that Alec wouldn't try to make friends on his course, so when he saw him sat with Magnus in the canteen at lunchtime he decided to ignore his resolution to avoid the colourful teenager in favour of looking after his friend. Now, after what he had overheard, he regretted even bothering. Why should he, when it seemed that Alec didn't care the same about him?

Just then he felt his phone vibrate and saw that he had a message from said blue eyed boy.

 **Hey Will, are you okay? I didn't see you in the English block; do you want to talk?**

 _As if you really care._ Will snorted to himself. Though the message did give him the perfect opportunity to confront his so-called 'friend'.

 **I would love to**.

It had been an hour since he had sent his reply to Alec, and he had spent that time walking home slowly, trying to decide the best way to start the conversation. What he wasn't expecting, when he reached his house, was to find both Alec _and_ Jace sat on his front door steps, waiting for him to return.

 _Oh crap,_ he thought. Jace being here may just make the conversation even harder.

 _But he might take your side_ , a small voice in the back of his mind whispered. After all, Jace is actually family, and families are supposed to support each other no matter what. Right?

It was Alec who spoke first.

"There you are", he exclaimed enthusiastically as he stood up, embracing Will with a huge smile on his face. "I was beginning to think you'd stood us up".

It took every ounce of self-control that Will had not to flinch at the contact. "Well, what sort of a friend would I be if I did that?"

He tried, he really did, to keep this as civil as he could, but he just didn't have it in him to take the sharpness out of his voice and put a smile on his face.

And then it was Jace who joined in. "Will, are you okay? Have we done something to upset you?"

Will could see the confusion on his face and used the time it took to usher the others into his house to try to compose himself before an argument started. He didn't think he was successful.

"Not 'we' Jace. Just one of you", he added with a pointed glare at Alec.

"Me?" Alec responded questioningly, his eyebrows coming together has he tried to think of what he could have done to possibly offend him.

And this, more than anything is what made Will snap. Not just the fact that his friend could betray him in the way that he did, but the fact that he would then try to lie about it to his face. He thought Alec respected him more than that; valued their friendship more than that. He guessed that he was wrong.

"As if you don't know", he scoffed.

Alec's frown deepened. "No I really don't. We were fine this morning, and I haven't seen you all day?"

"Oh really you can't think of anything? Not even a certain conversation, with a certain teenager that you just happened to know that I had feelings for?"

 _Bingo._ Will thought. He saw Alec's eyes widen and he knew that his friend had figured out what conversation he was talking about. But then a puzzled expression clouded his face once again and Will felt like he could just scream in exasperation.

"You overheard that did you?" Alec asked in a small voice.

"Yes".

"But I don't really understand how it could have upset you?"

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW?" Will surprised himself at his outburst, but he couldn't sit there any longer with Alec acting as if he didn't realise the pain that he had caused him.

"Magnus is the one person that I have actually cared about since I dated Jessamine, and you don't realise why you agreeing to go on a date with him would upset me?"

At this Jace, who had been quiet up until now, let out an incredulous gasp and snapped his gaze over to Alec. "Alec is this true?"

"What? NO! Of course it isn't, how could you two think it is?"

"Oh I don't know, Alec", Will replied. "Maybe it was the fact that you said, and I quote 'I would love to go on a date with you Magnus".

* * *

There was silence after Will's last comment. Alec had been confused throughout this confrontation. He didn't know where Will got the idea he was going on a date with Magnus from, and he was more than a little hurt that Jace would so quickly believe that he would do something like that. But suddenly it made sense. Will may have overheard his conversation at lunchtime, but it didn't sound like he had stayed to listen to the whole thing.

"You didn't hear the full conversation Will", Alec began, desperately trying to correct Will's incorrect assumption before their friendship broke to the point where it could no longer be fixed.

"Oh, I think I heard enough don't you?"

The icy tone of Will's voice and the cruel sarcasm stung Alec but he was determined to make things right. He knew Will had been hurt before, and he could only assume that what Will thought was happening now was too similar to whatever it is that had occurred before.

"No you really didn't". His gaze swapped from Will to Jace, begging both of them to believe him. "If you had stayed a little longer you would have heard me tell him that I couldn't go with him. That I couldn't hurt you like that". Alec paused here, crossing over to Will in two long strides, placing his hands on the other boy's shoulders and gazing desperately into two pain-filled eyes that were so similar to his own.

"Please Will, you have to believe me. I would never do anything like this to you. You know how much I care about you. This is just a misunderstanding. Please, please tell me you believe me".

* * *

Will paused for a second. He wanted to believe Alec, he really did. He knew his friend was a terrible liar, especially if you were looking in his eyes. And right now, staring as he was into his friend's blue eyes, all he could see was desperation and honesty. Deep down, he knew that Alec was telling the truth, but right now, in this instant he couldn't focus on that. His mind was elsewhere. On another person, another time, and another broken heart. On the other time someone wanted his friend instead of him. And suddenly he couldn't believe Alec anymore. He had thought he was loved before. He had been wrong then. He thought that Jessamine couldn't, _wouldn't,_ lie to him. If he could be wrong about that, he could be wrong about Alec too.

Even before he said his answer he could see that Alec knew what he was going to say. He watched as Alec inhaled a sharp breath, his blue eyes filling with tears as Will gently wrenched himself out of his friend's grasp.

"I can't", he replied softly, turning away so he wouldn't have to watch the boy who had been his friend for so long cry.

"Will please."

But will chose to ignore him, turning instead to watch Jace who had stood quietly to the side, watching the proceedings sadly and unsure what he could do to help. "What about you?"

Will could see Jace was startled by this question.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean are you staying with me or are you going with him? One or the other Jace".

He couldn't believe what he was saying. He didn't want to force Jace to choose between them, he knew that the blond cared about both of them. But right now, he couldn't be near Alec. Which meant that if he was going to hang out with Jace, Jace would have to stay away from him too.

"Come on Will, don't make me do this. It's Alec we're talking about; the guy can't even bring himself to hurt a fly."

"One or the other Jace".

"Does there really have to be sides?" He could see Jace was getting desperate, and it was this that told Will what he needed to know. His cousin had chosen Alec.

"Fine", Will snapped. "If you want to choose his side then get out. I don't need either of you".

"Will, please will you listen to me? You've blown this completely out of proportion."

"Get out Jace".

"Look if Alec said he turned him down, he turned him down. Don't you think we should resolve this like adults?"

"WILL YOU JUST LEAVE?"

He had had enough. He needed to be alone. The tears that he didn't have earlier were threatening to fall and he didn't want to do so in front of them. He barely heard the front door open and close, barely registered their final attempt at calling out to him as he collapsed against the door, feeling emptier than he ever had before.

He didn't know how long he sat there sobbing, with his heart shattered into a thousand pieces with just one thought bouncing around his mind.

 _What have I done?_

* * *

 ** _A/N-_** I hope you don't dislike Will too much after this, you will eventually find out why he acts in the way he does.  
And for the people who reviewed my last chapter, thank you!

Guest (no. 1)- I would like to think Will would, but I'll let you decide once I introduce him a bit more.

Guest (no. 2)- I don't know how to reply to this without giving anything away. Though things have to look up at some point.


	13. Chapter 13- Consequences Part I

**A/N-** Hey everyone, remember me? I am so sorry it's been almost a month, I've had so much work to do. I have two things to say about this chapter: first, you meet someone new and I know they are different from the books but hopefully the reason why will become clear as the story develops. Second, this chapter and the next one were supposed to be one chapter but I thought it was too much to pack into one. With that, I hope you enjoy it and thank you so much for reading.

 **Disclaimer-** Characters belong to Cassandra Clare.

* * *

It had been six days since Will confronted him. Six days of leaving texts, voice messages and emails. He even wrote him a letter and put it through his post box after he had spent three hours sat outside his friend's house begging him to listen. But he wouldn't and it broke his heart. Will had been by his side everyday for as long as he could remember and he doesn't know what to do without him. He keeps seeing things on the news that he knows the other boy would find funny or book recommendations that he knows Will would love, but whenever he goes to text the other boy he knows it's no use; Will would just ignore it anyway.

Alec knew he wasn't the only one suffering from Will's silence. Alec had seen Jace every day since Will's outburst and with every day that passed he looked more and more lost. Alec knew the cousins were extraordinarily close, more like brothers than anything else. They were always by each other's side, standing up for each other if anyone tried to pick on them. Alec could barely bring himself to look at Jace anymore, the sadness he saw there every time he does just breaks his heart all over again.

He can't help the nauseous, all consuming feeling of guilt whenever he thinks of the pain he has caused his friend. He had tried so hard to avoid it, but whenever he went to sleep the hurt and betrayal he had seen swimming in Will's blue eyes threatened to suffocate him. So Alec convinced himself that he deserved to suffer himself. He deserved the feeling of guilt that consumed him whenever Jace sent him a dejected text stating that yes, his cousin was still refusing to talk to him, and no, he didn't know what to do about it. So in his mind, Alec decided that he ought to punish himself for the trouble he had caused, and there was only one way he could think of. He had to stop speaking to Magnus.

The colourful boy always made him feel comforted and happy, even though they were only friends. But Alec didn't deserve to feel like that. So whenever Magnus sent him a text, asking how he was or why he wasn't answering, he forced himself to ignore them. When, after two days of silent treatment, Magnus became more persistent and started phoning him every ten minutes, he simply turned his phone off; knowing that he would be too weak to resist the temptation of hearing Magnus' voice. Alec was just thankful it was the October half term and his parents had the annual tradition of forcing their children to spend the week in the New Forest. Without mobiles.

He had a week to prepare himself, to build up the courage to tell Magnus that they can't be friends. The thought of it caused a painful constricting at his chest as tears began to fill his eyes, but it had to be done. He had done this. He had hurt Will. He had hurt Jace. And now, by ignoring Magnus, he knew he had hurt him too. He didn't deserve the happiness that Magnus brought.

* * *

Something was wrong. He might work a lot, but Robert knew his children well. He knew Alec was a quiet boy; that he preferred his own company, but he _always_ had time for his siblings. So when, half way through the drive to their holiday cabin, he snapped at Max to leave him alone and stop asking to play with him, he knew something was bothering him. But he left him alone, knowing that Alec would talk in his own time.

But that was four days ago and nothing had improved. They had gone on their daily activities as normal; played mini-golf, explored the forest and went out for dinner, but Alec barely spoke a word. Worse than that, he just looked sad, like the weight of the world was crushing him and he had just accepted that was the way it was going to be. But Robert wasn't going to sit and watch him suffer.

He had been worried about Alec for a while. He didn't care that he was quiet and didn't go out much with other people from school. He didn't care if all his clothes were black and he refused to get a proper haircut. But he did care about the times he stopped speaking, shutting himself away so that he was just a shell of the child he loved. He cared when he looked like he had given up and didn't want to fight for anything. Over the past couple of weeks he had seen Alec smiling more often, going out a couple of times and paying more attention to his phone. He had hoped that this would progress into something more, but just as quickly as it had started, it stopped again and Robert was back to worrying. Which is why he found himself sitting next to his forlorn son on an overturned tree in the middle of a forest, attempting to spark a conversation which he knows will be uncomfortable for the both of them.

"So, how are you enjoying the holiday so far?" Robert winced at his pathetic conversation opener. He was skirting around the conversation and he knew it, he just wasn't very good at talking about how people felt. And he knew Alec wasn't either.

He watched as Alec just shrugged, refusing to meet his gaze. "It's the same as it always is".

Robert sighed. He knew it wouldn't be easy to get Alec to talk, but he also knew that he and Maryse had allowed Alec to bottle in his feelings for too long. So he decided to bite the bullet.

"Alec, are you okay?"

He saw Alec blink at his gentle question, but other than that his face reflected no other emotion.

"I'm fine".

There was an awkward silence after Alec's response as Robert tried to decide on the best way to continue the conversation. He could leave it at this and walk away, but that would leave Alec alone and obviously distressed. That was not an option. So he would have to confront his son and hope that the boy didn't get too defensive and shut himself off completely.

He felt Alec flinch a little as he placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, but he wasn't going to give up. This was his son, he needed him, and hopefully the encouragement would be all he needs to open up.

"Please don't lie to me Alec; I can see that you're not."

"It's nothing, Dad, don't worry".

"And your sister is an amazing cook". He saw the corner of Alec's lips twitch in a reluctant smile and he was proud of that, even if he still couldn't get Alec to open up.

"Look Son, I do worry, okay? It's part of the job description. So I can sit here all day if I have to. Besides you never know, I may actually have some advice you'll find useful, even if you never want to admit it."

It took three hours for Alec to give in and talk to him. Three. Robert was amazed, though he probably shouldn't have underestimated how stubborn he was. The wind picked up, clouds began to gather and still Alec did not speak. He kept his gaze fixed on the log beneath him, not moving a muscle as he sat there ignoring his father. Robert wouldn't admit it, but after the first hour he began to regret saying he could wait all day. Logs were not the most comfortable place to sit. But he did, just watching his son as he tried to think of all of the things that could possibly be upsetting Alec. He was so caught up in his thoughts that he almost jumped a mile at the sound of Alec's voice.

"Will hates me", Alec whispered in a broken voice full of so much anguish that Robert tightened the hold he had on his son's shoulder.

"I'm sure that's not true". But even as he said it, Alec was shaking his head and he knew that must be what Alec genuinely believed. Robert knew of no one less likely to overdramatise or exaggerate.

"You didn't see his face Dad. He hates me, and now he won't talk to Jace either and it's all my fault".

"What makes you say that?" Robert made sure he was gentle when he asked this; too much prying and he knew Alec would close up again.

"Say what?"

"That it's your fault".

Robert was curious when a blush worked its way onto Alec's cheeks and was slightly amused when the boy shifted uncomfortably and turned (if possible) his face even further away from him.

"We, um, well by accident, we kinda started to develop feelings for the same person."

It all came out in a garbled rush that Robert was amazed he could decipher. It did at least explain why Alec was so uncomfortable with talking about it.

"Okay. And then what happened?"

At that Alec turned towards his father as the embarrassment fled from his face, replaced instead with honest confusion.

"They asked me to go to the Halloween dance with them, but I said I couldn't because Will liked them too. But then they said that they told Will nothing could happen because they liked someone else. And then they asked me if I liked them too, which obviously I told them I did but we could only be friends because I couldn't hurt Will like that. The next thing I know, Will is accusing me of betraying him. Turns out he heard our conversation but only the bit about me saying I liked h-them too. And then he turned on Jace because he accused him of taking my side. And now I think I've hurt the person I like because I ignored all their texts and calls and I don't know what to do. They make me happy but I don't deserve to be happy after all the pain I've caused do I?"

Robert blinked slowly. That was a lot of information to pour out of his son in under a minute. A part of him was glad to hear that Alec had found someone, but that was quickly drowned out by the pain he felt at his son's anguish and the sadness that hit him when he heard that his son believed he deserved to be miserable. By the end of it, Robert could see tears streaming down his son's face, so he did the only thing he could think off to comfort him, he hugged him.

They stayed like that for a while, Alec silently crying against his chest until Robert decided he had calmed down enough.

"Alec look at me". He waited until Alec slowly met his gaze, a stray tear or two still falling down his face.

"You did absolutely nothing wrong. **Nothing**. Do you hear me?" He could see that Alec didn't believe him.

"But"-

"No buts. You explained to Will what really happened didn't you?"

"Of course."

"Did he listen?"

"Well no, but"-

"Did you, at any point agree to go to the dance with this girl?" Robert saw Alec flinch slightly when he asked this, but he thought nothing of it. Alec clearly wasn't comfortable talking about this with his dad.

"N-no".

"Well then, whatever upset Will and made him ignore you _and_ Jace is on him".

"But he's hurt Dad, and it is partly because of me".

"Alec, what did you do when you found out Will liked her too?" Robert noted curiously that there was another flinch, but this wasn't the time to ask him about that.

"Decided we could only be friends".

"Even though you liked her too? That doing so would make _you_ miserable?"

Robert watched as Alec nodded sadly.

"Then you did everything you could to make sure that Will didn't get hurt. And yes, you probably shouldn't have ignored this girls texts and calls, but that's in the past now. On Monday, think of a way to make it up to her and I'm sure everything will be okay with them."

"But what about Will".

"I guess that will work itself out in time".

Robert slowly stood up, his legs numb and back aching from the hours spent sat on the tree, but if it gave his son even a tiny bit of comfort, it was worth it.

"So how about some ice-cream?"

Robert watched as Alec's mouth curved into a small smile, his eyes just marginally less troubled than they had been this morning.

"Sure".

With that the two of them began the winding trek back to the rest of their family. It was approaching 6pm by the time the cabin got into view, and Alec was only just starting to laugh again, especially when his dad slid down a leafy hill after he tripped over the very branch he told Alec to be careful of.

"Alec", Robert paused them both just outside of the cabin they were staying in.

"Yes, dad?"

He gave his son a gentle smile. "I love you".

"I love you too."

* * *

 **A/N-** Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter:

Darknesscoming- When the time is right they'll know.  
kaciegayle/guest- I'm glad you sympathise with Will, I'm planning a chapter to explain a bit more about him soon I've just got to find the best place to put it.


	14. Chapter 14- Consequences Part II

**A/N-** Hey! Thanks for reading, I hope you've all liked the story so far. Let me know what you think, and enjoy the next chapter!

 **Disclaimer-** Characters still belong to Cassandra Clare.

* * *

6 days, 15 hours, 33 minutes and 19 seconds. That was how long it had been since Magnus sent Alec the first text. When a couple of hours went by and the boy still hadn't answered, Magnus just assumed that was because he was having a family dinner. It was just gone 7:30 when he sent it, and many people ate at that time. But when, by midday on Tuesday Alec didn't respond, Magnus began to believe that maybe the blue eyed boy was ignoring him. That, despite his plea to be friends and assertion that Magnus had done nothing wrong, he really was angry for what Magnus had done. And although Magnus deserved Alec's anger, it still hurt to think that the best person he had ever met no longer wanted to speak to him. So in a panic he tried calling him, only to have the call go to voice mail; not once, not twice, but 18 times. It was on the 18th attempt that he decided to leave a message:

 _Alec please answer me, I thought you said you wanted to be friends? Please, I know that I deserve to have you ignore me, that I deserve to be miserable, but I miss you. I promised I can accept just being friends, don't shut me out. We need to talk about it, please just ring me back._

But he never did, which is why Magnus is sat at his kitchen table staring into a mug of hot chocolate and willing the tears that threatened to fall to go away. It just seemed that no matter what he did, no matter who it was or how much he opened up to them, he always, _always_ , got hurt.

"It's not fair", he whispered dejectedly, feelings of anger and despair welling up inside him.

"IT. IS. NOT. FAIR". Accompanied with a fierce slam on the table, he only just narrowly escaped spilling the scolding drink on his grey jeans, the liquid creating a small pool on the table top.

He had only just managed to clean it up (his mother would _not_ be happy if he ruined her table) when he heard a key in the lock. He quickly turned to the sink so that his back was towards the kitchen door, hoping it would give him enough time to mask his feelings. He didn't want to worry her.

"Hello Magnus. Did you have a nice day?" The cheerful voice greeted him from the hallway, so he turned around with what he hoped was a convincing smile and went to hug Sophia before she could look too closely.

"It was nothing special. I hope they're not working you too hard there." Although his tone was playful when he said it, he did worry about his mother. She had always worked so hard for them, and even though he offered to get summer jobs to help out once he turned 16, she always insisted that he go and have fun instead. Out of everyone in his life who never wanted him, who never thought he was enough, she was the only one who was always there. Who always cared about how he felt. Who picked him up when he felt down and, even if just for a moment, made him feel like he actually mattered to someone.

And it was now, when he was greeting his mother and remembering everything she had done for him, that he could no longer hold back the tears. He didn't know when they started, but once they did, he couldn't stop it. Before he knew it, he was a sobbing mess clutching to Sophia with everything he had, holding her a little tighter every time she tried to move.

"Oh Magnus, sweetie don't cry. It'll be okay".

He could hear her talking quietly as he cried, could feel her small hand rubbing the top of his back. But her kindness, her gentleness just made it so much worse. The kinder she was, the more he cried. But maybe this was good, right? Maybe he'd get it out of his system.

"I love you, Mum", he forced out between sobs, because he really needed to say it to someone.

"I love you too, sweetie". But more than that, he needed to hear someone say it back.

* * *

It broke her heart to see Magnus like this. Over the years Sophia had watched Magnus fall for people. She watched as he opened himself up as much as he could to them, trusting them as far as he would let them. She watched how they all inevitably let him down, choosing someone or something else.

Sophia wasn't stupid. She knew Magnus always struggled with being put up for adoption. She knew it made him think he was unlovable. After all, if the people who were supposed to love him most didn't want him, why would anyone else? She knew he had told himself that. That no matter what she did, how many times she told him she loved him or comforted him, he would never really overcome that. But that was okay. As long as he knew she was there, that was all that mattered.

But this time was different. Magnus had cried a couple of times over past...lovers, shall she call them. But never to this extent. Never as if he had lost the most valuable thing in the world. Like his heart was completely beyond repair. But Sophia really hoped that wasn't true. Magnus was a remarkable person. He was kind, creative, funny, and yes, slightly crazy. But he was also fiercely loyal and loving, once he let someone in. She knew the time would eventually come when someone would be able to see all of this, she just hoped it would be sooner rather than later.

When ten minutes had passed and it seemed clear that Magnus wasn't going to calm down soon, she guided him towards the sofa and drew him further into her embrace, rocking him back and forth a bit in the hope it would help him relax. And it did. It took another five minutes, but eventually the sobs turned to hiccups and the tears had stopped running down his face. Gently she wiped his cheeks dry, placing a small kiss on each one as he smiled a little at her.

"Why don't you tell me what's wrong?"

"I'm a horrible person".

"Don't you dare say that Magnus!"

Sophia watched as Magnus jumped slightly at the harshness of her tone, but she wasn't going to back down on this. "You are many things, but horrible is not one of them."

"But I've hurt them so much, Mum. It wasn't supposed to happen like this. And then he said he wanted to be friends. But now he isn't answering any of my texts and I can't even get Will to look at me anymore and I just don't know what to do!" Magnus' breathing had become harsh by the end of his declaration, his eyes darting around frantically as his sorrow turned to panic.

"Magnus calm down, you aren't making any sense", Sophia replied softly as she drew her son into another hug. "Now tell me from the beginning what happened."

"You're going to hate me".

"Not possible".

"Fine", Magnus' shoulders slumped as if he no longer had the energy left to put up an argument. "I met these two guys on the first day of school, and well...you know I can be a bit, uh..."

"Flirtatious?" Sophia could see that Magnus wasn't entirely comfortable with the conversation that they were having.

"Yeah", Magnus replied sheepishly. "But anyway, suddenly the flirting turned more serious and I realised that I started to have feelings for both of them and that both of them liked me back, and I started to panic. I had no idea what to do Mum! I thought anything I would do would just cause everyone pain, so I decided to do nothing. And then the situation got worse"-

"How could it get worse?"

"They're best friends".

"Oh". Now Sophia could see why Magnus was so upset with himself; friendship was something he valued very dearly.

"So then I knew I had to do something about it. Long story short I told Will that we couldn't be together because I liked someone else. But when I asked Alec out he said he couldn't do that to Will but that he still wanted to be my friend. Only now, I've been texting him all week and he won't answer me and I can't help but think that he hates me now."

Magnus' eyes began to fill with tears as he muttered those last words, the pain and regret clearly obvious on his face.

"Just answer me one thing Magnus. Did you at any point mean to hurt anyone? Did you deliberately set out to upset them?"

"WHAT? Of course not".

"Then you listen to me, because I am only saying this once." She drew away from Magnus a little, forcing him to look into her chocolate brown eyes as she spoke. "This does not make you a horrible person. It means you made a mistake. We all make mistakes Magnus, it's part of life. The only thing you can do now is try to put it right. You have a good heart Magnus; you'll know what to do."

"Can't really do anything if neither of them will talk to me", Magnus scoffed quietly.

"Well, you can't expect them, especially this Will, to be completely happy right now Magnus. They probably just need time. They might even be away spending time with family. Stop over thinking things, okay? It's not good for you."

"Easier said than done, Mum".

Sophia gave her son a wicked smile in response. "I know. But why don't you put the energy you've been wasting by worrying into thinking of a way to make things up to those boys. See if you can win that Alec over. There must be something he would appreciate?"

Sophia watched as her words sunk in, as Magnus' brain started to formulate a plan. Before she knew it she was getting a sharp elbow to the stomach as Magnus scrambled to get up.

"Ouch".

"Oops, sorry Mum! Gotta go. Love you."

Sophia laughed to herself quietly. This was her son, the boy she loved more than anything.

"Love you too. And where are you off to?"

"I've got a phone call to make. If I want to win Alec's heart I'll have to think like Alec. And I know just the girl I need".

* * *

 **A/N-**

kaciegayle- Alec can be a bit stubborn, but surely if enough people tell him to do something he'll listen?

Darknesscoming- better late than never?

Zama418- thank you, I'm glad you've liked it so far!


	15. Chapter 15- How to Apologise

**A/N-** Hi everyone! Since it's the holidays I thought I'd get the next chapter up a bit sooner than I have been doing. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, as always feel free to let me know what you think. Have a great week, and I should have the next chapter up next Sunday.

 **Disclaimer-** characters belong to Cassandra Clare.

* * *

When Magnus ended the call it took every ounce of self control Izzy had not to let out an inhuman squeal. After all, Alec was only in the room next to her and if he heard her this happy he was bound to get suspicious. And that wouldn't do at all.

Yet she couldn't stop the smug smirk that worked its way onto her face. She _knew_ Magnus liked her brother, there was no denying it. It was etched into the way he looked at Alec when her brother had his eyes averted, or the way that Magnus would lean towards him, laughing too much at something that wasn't really that funny. And for a while, Izzy was convinced that _something_ had happened. Her brother was always so happy. He actually laughed, he smiled more. He didn't spend all his time reading. But then suddenly it all stopped and the brother she had come to recognise all too well came back. Only this time he didn't even smile. He didn't talk. She couldn't help but wonder what had happened to cause it, but she could think of only one thing. Magnus. Something had to have happened, she just couldn't think what.

"Hey Izzy, can we talk for a second?" The quiet voice at the door made her jump out of her seat. Caught up in her musings, she didn't hear her big brother knock. .

"Sure, what's up?" _Maybe this way I'll get some answers,_ she thought to herself as she settled on her bed, patting the spot next to her to encourage him to sit down. She watched as he entered her room tentatively, making sure to shut and lock the door before he sat next to her, staring at a spot on the wall opposite him and folding his arms across his chest as if he was trying to hold himself together. She let him sit like that for ten minutes before the deafening silence became too much for her.

"Are you okay, Alec?" Izzy turned towards her brother as she put a gentle hand on his shoulder, watching as he pulled in a painful breath before seeming to collapse into himself as if the weight of the world was suffocating him.

"Not really Izzy".

She hated how defeated he sounded, how his eyes glowed too bright with barely concealed tears. He was her big brother. The one she always went to when she hurt herself, or needed cheering up. He was the person he turned to when her first boyfriend broke up with her or when she broke her arm falling out of a tree. He was supposed to make everything better. She didn't know how to do the same for him.

"I've ruined everything". He turned to her then, his desperate blue eyes screaming for help. "I don't know what to do", he added softly.

She shifted closer to him with that, resting her head on his shoulder as she tried to comfort him. "Well, if you told me what happened, I might be able to help".

"Will likes Magnus too".

Well she was not expecting that. "Ah. But how does that mean you've 'ruined everything'?"

"He overheard part of a conversation and convinced himself that I was agreeing to go on a date with him and now he won't talk to me _or_ Jace"-

"I don't see how that's your fault".

"And then I felt so guilty I've spent the last week avoiding all of Magnus' calls and texts and now he probably hates me".

"Magnus could never hate you, you know". Although not facing her brother, she could feel the incredulous stare he was giving her, so she hastened on before he could interrupt. "I've seen how he looks at you, Alec. He really likes you. It's like you're this spotlight for him. He laughs too much at what you say, smiles more if you talk to him and blatantly checks you out when you aren't looking. I don't think a week of not answering his phone calls will get rid of that".

She turned towards him after this, both of them sitting cross legged as he thought through what she had told him. She could see the determination start to build in his eyes and she hoped she wasn't wrong about this. She didn't know what he would do if she built his hopes up only for them to get dashed again.

"I have to do something to make it up to him though. Right?"

"Well _obviously_ ", she replied sarcastically as she playfully smacked her brother's arm. "You can't ignore someone for a week and not do some sort of apology. And it has to be a good one. No shop bought chocolates or anything. It has to mean something".

Izzy chuckled at the incredulous look he threw her. "You do know this is me we're talking about, right? I've never actually been the epitome of creative. It'll suck".

"It's the thought that counts though".

"I suppose", he huffed.

They sat together in silence for a few more minutes, Izzy practically being able to hear the gears turning in her brother's head. It was when he all but jumped off of her bed that he had figured out what to do.

"Going somewhere?"

He flashed her a brilliant smile. The sort of smile she hadn't seen on her brother in a long time.

"I have an apology to make".

And with that he darted from the room, leaving the door open as he hurried down the hallway, closing the door a bit too loudly in his rush. Izzy didn't mind though. She was just glad that things might start to pick up for her brother.

* * *

Alec was beyond nervous when he drove himself and Izzy to college the next day. He had been up all night trying to get his apology right, but he still wasn't convinced that Magnus would forgive him. Hell, he wasn't even sure he deserved to be forgiven. He should never have taken his guilt out on Magnus like that. He had agreed to be friends; there was no need to ignore him as if he was the plague. _And sometimes you wonder why you struggled to make friends. News flash, taking your feelings out on them isn't going to work._

"Alec, you're going to miss the turning if you don't pay attention."

His sister's firm yet gentle words snapped Alec out of his musings as he noted that yes; he was just about to drive past the college's entrance. Pulling into the car park more harshly than he wanted, he let out an exasperated sigh as he parked the car in one of the last empty spaces.

"It'll be okay Alec, you'll see."

He wanted to believe her, he really did. "You don't know that, Iz". His voice sounded small even to his own ears.

The siblings parted ways once they left the car, Alec watching as she waved enthusiastically at Simon who was at the other side of the car park. The morning passed painfully slowly for Alec. He saw Magnus briefly on his way to his locker at the beginning of the day, and although their eyes had met, he quickly snapped his away again and hid in the nearest bathroom. Too afraid to go up to Magnus and do what needed to be done. Too afraid to try and decipher the strong emotions swirling in the other's golden-green eyes as he looked at him.

After that encounter, Alec could honestly say he had absolutely no idea what happened in his history class. He kept trying to focus, but he never got further than one sentence into the textbook before his mind drifted off to what he had to do. His apology constantly felt like it was burning a hole in his pocket. Everything rested on this apology. He needed Magnus in his life, he knew that. It would break his heart if he lost him completely, but he would only have himself to blame.

Double English literature was even worse. He had seen Magnus in the corridor again as he made his way out of his history classroom and he decided that he would just rip off the plaster and go and give him the wretched apology so he could stop worrying about it. But Alec had taken just three steps towards the glittery teenager before his courage left him and he fled back the way he came, hiding in his English classroom so there would be no way he could bump into him again.

Despite his love for English, Shakespeare in particular, Alec just couldn't bring himself to concentrate. So for two hours he sat and planned what he would do. It was clear that he wasn't brave enough to go up to Magnus and speak to him directly. Alec knew Magnus had textiles before lunch on Mondays so would be late getting out. That gave him just enough time to drop his apology off at his locker and leave before Magnus found him. That way, Alec thought, if it wasn't enough to earn Magnus' forgiveness at least both of them would be spared the embarrassment of having Magnus read it while Alec was present.

Which is why Alec found himself (at precisely 12:35) running away from Magnus' locker, his heart in his mouth, praying to everything he knew that it would be enough.

He didn't want to think about what would happen if it wasn't.

* * *

Magnus was a mess as he made his way towards his locker after textiles. He normally didn't mind that Mrs Fairchild always let them out 5 minutes late, but today he had to sort things out with Alec. He had spent all night working on his apology, but he still wasn't sure it was good enough. Was anything really enough to say 'hey, sorry I messed up and made your best friend, literally one of the only people you've ever relied on, refuse to talk to you'? Magnus didn't think so, but he was determined to try.

He had already seen Alec this morning as he was storing the apology in his locker (first thing was not the appropriate time to try to talk to him). He was every bit as beautiful as he always was; his clothes and hair revealing the vulnerability he knew Alec tried to hide, his eyes expressing every emotion that he felt. As their eyes met Magnus could see only two things; sadness and regret. Magnus was just about to go over to him, but just as quickly as Alec had looked at him, he averted his eyes, all but running away from him.

 _He must be angry with me,_ Magnus thought sadly.

He didn't see Alec again that morning. He thought he did briefly after his first class, but by the time he had a chance to look again, the figure was gone and he couldn't be sure that it was the blue eyed boy that he was looking for. Magnus decided in that moment that he would approach Alec at lunchtime. If he had to wait for the end of the day he wouldn't learn anything! Every time he tried to concentrate all he could think about were the ways he could get Alec to listen to him long enough to get his apology across.

 _Please, please let him forgive me_ , Magnus pleaded as he made his way to his locker at the start of lunch. He had no idea where he would find Alec (well he had several but he didn't really want to spend the entire hour trying to look for him; they'd never get to speak) but he thought he should at least take the apology with him.

Magnus was so preoccupied with his thoughts that he almost missed the startlingly white piece of paper that drifted to the floor when he opened his locker. Almost. As Magnus picked it up he could see the messy scrawl that he had seen only once but had been ingrained in his brain ever since.

 _Alec._

With shaking hands Magnus picked up the paper, noting the messy "I'm so sorry" on the front before unfolding the note the blue eyed boy had left him. It was a poem. 'The Prison; Part Two'. All of a sudden, Magnus was transported back in time. To the lunchtime when Alec became the first person he had ever shown one of his designs to, and when in return Alec had given him a glimpse of his soul in the form of one of his poems. Magnus remembered reading 'The Prison'. He wasn't stupid; he knew Alec was talking about himself. His heart broke at how trapped Alec had felt, how he felt that he wouldn't be able to escape. He remembered Alec's words when he asked if there was a second part to the poem: " _It's not written yet, I'm yet to see whether the narrator completes the climb to freedom"._

Suddenly, Magnus wasn't entirely sure he wanted to read the poem. He had no idea what he would read there; but if Alec had given it to him, it meant he wanted him to see it. So Magnus fought down his trepidation and read the words that had been hastily scratched onto the paper, as if Alec was forcing himself to get the words out before he changed his mind.

 _Prison was black and white, no in between._

 _Just wrong or right; one or the other._

 _Prison was claustrophobic. Chains so tight,_

 _They muted my anguished screams._

 _Prison was everywhere._

 _Every look, every person, every stare._

 _They all told me that I was wrong,_

 _But I had to be right._

 _Freedom was different._

 _Freedom was splashes of colour and blinding lights._

 _Freedom was no wrongs or rights,_

 _Just a teenager._

 _Just small smiles and honest eyes,_

 _Kind encouragement and reluctant goodbyes._

 _Freedom had always seemed to be in sight but too hard to reach,_

 _But perhaps it was never really there, was just an illusion._

 _Until now. Because now freedom has been found._

 _In secret seats and drooping trees,_

 _Dresses and poems and hugs and speech,_

 _They have guided the way, and I have completed the climb._

 _I am free. I am me._

Magnus forced back a sob at the last sentence. He had only reached the third stanza when the tears started to fall. Magnus wasn't entirely sure, but he thought that Alec was talking about him. Magnus knew where Alec would be now; there was only one place he'd go if he wanted Magnus to find him. With a new found determination, Magnus snatched his apology out of his locker, slamming the door shut in his haste to get to his blue eyed beauty.

 _But what if you're wrong Magnus? What if it isn't about you at all and he doesn't want to speak to you?_ Magnus violently shook his head as he forced the thoughts down. He wouldn't let himself think like that; Alec wouldn't have written _him_ the poem if it didn't mean that he wanted to sort things out.

It was only a few minutes later when Magnus reached the alcove they had sat in all those weeks ago, hidden from the world behind thick leaves. Magnus didn't realise just how worried he still was that Alec wouldn't be there until he felt it all leave him at the sight of the black haired boy sitting in the left hand side of the alcove, hugging his legs and biting his lip distractedly, as if he had done it so often he no longer realised that was what he was doing.

"You came", was his timid greeting, his blue eyes remaining fixed on his shoes as if it would make the whole situation more bearable.

"You asked", was Magnus' equally soft reply as he settled himself down next to his companion, careful to touch him as little as possible in the cramped space. Once he said those words he realised that is indeed what Alec had done in leaving the poem in his locker. He told him, in the only way he knew how, that he wanted to speak. And Magnus definitely wasn't going to leave that alcove until they had done just that.

The silence, much like the first time, was painful. The only sound their harsh breathing, Alec still doing all he could to avert eye contact. _Looks like you'll have to guide the conversation then Magnus._

"I've brought you something". That got Alec's attention. His bright blue eyes snapped quickly to Magnus' face, confusion evident in the way his eyebrows drew together and his nose scrunched up in the most adorable way.

 _Now is not the time to get distracted Magnus, focus!_

"You did, why?"

"Why? Are you serious, Alec? To apologise. After everything I've done you deserve that at least".

Magnus watched as Alec started to shake his head during his last sentence.

"I told you already Magnus, that wasn't your fault. I told you I wasn't mad. There's nothing for me to forgive. If anything, I'm the one that"-

Magnus decided to cut him off then. "Before you carry on, will you please just open the box and then you can say what you need to".

Magnus gently pushed the box into Alec's lap as the blue eyed boy nodded his agreement. To say Magnus was nervous as he watched Alec meticulously (of course) unwrap the box was an understatement. He had spent all night trying to get this perfect for him and he didn't want to watch if it turned out Alec completely hated it. Izzy had seemed convinced that Alec would love it, but still part of Magnus was convinced that he wouldn't.

"You made this for me?" That was the only thing Alec said, and since he was still looking down Magnus couldn't tell what he was thinking.

"Yes, but it's okay if you don't like it. It's the thought that counts right?" Magnus tried to joke but he couldn't quite hide the increasing panic he felt about the fact that Alec still hadn't commented on it. He watched silently as Alec delicately picked the shirt up from the box, carefully unfolding it as if it was something precious, not just a piece of dyed fabric. When Magnus was trying to think about what he could do for an apology, he remembered the various tie-dye shirts he had seen Alec wearing; apparently the only somewhat colourful thing he would let himself own. So Magnus decided that is what he would make him. 10 failed attempts, 8 bottles of dye and three angry lectures from his mother later and the shirt was exactly what Magnus wanted. The main colour was black (he didn't want to push Alec too far or he knew he'd never wear it) but it was threaded with blues, silver and indigo; colours he knew would match Alec's eyes. In the end he was quite happy with the way it turned out; he just hoped that Alec was as well.

After carefully folding the shirt and placing it back in the box Alec finally looked back at Magnus, and the green eyed teenager was surprised at the brightness he saw there. "I love it Magnus, thank you".

"If it means we can be friends it's worth every ounce of effort".

At that, the small smile Alec had been sporting slipped and Magnus feared that meant his gift hadn't changed anything.

"Alec, I"-

"Wait, Magnus. Can I say what I was going to say earlier?" He paused to give his colourful companion time to nod. "I am so sorry; honestly there are no words for how sorry I am. I meant it when I said it wasn't your fault Magnus, I'm not mad. I just feel so guilty. Will's always been there for me, and now I've hurt him. I value your friendship so much that I just thought I didn't deserve it while he was hurting, that's why I've not been answering your texts. What right did I have to be happy when he's so upset? But then I realised that ignoring you was just hurting you as well so I felt even guiltier and I didn't know what to do about it. I've missed you so much Magnus".

Alec's voice was small by the time he had reached the last sentence, a stray tear forcing its way out of his brilliant eye as he looked directly at Magnus.

"I missed you too, Alec". Because he had. So much. Magnus had spent years closing himself off from everyone, not allowing himself to get too close because he knew that they would end up hurting him. But Alec was different. He told Alec more about himself in one day than he had told most of his past partners combined. He had fallen for Alec, and there was nothing he could do about it. He just had to hope that they could salvage something from the mess they've found themselves in.

"I understand Alec, Will is important to you. Though I was wondering about the poem; what is it about?"

Alec blushed a beautiful crimson before glancing sheepishly away. "I thought you would have guessed".

Magnus gave him a teasing smirk. "I don't like to make assumptions". Magnus watched quietly as Alec shifted in his seat, looking at Magnus directly as if trying to show his sincerity through his eyes as well as his words.

"You. I have spent so long hiding away from everyone Magnus, not thinking I'm good enough. My sister worries; I know she does so I tell her I'm okay. When Jace and Will and my Mum ask why I don't want to go out with them or speak to new people, I say I'm fine I just want to read. But the thing is Magnus; I don't think I'm fine, not really. Do you ever just sit there, you could be doing something else, but all of a sudden you feel inexplicably sad? That there's this dull ache that starts at your heart and works its way around your body, numbing everything and reminding you just how alone you really are. That, no matter how hard you try, there'll always be something that stops you really fitting in.

And then you came along, with all your glitter and inappropriate flirting, and for the first time I felt happy. Really, truly happy. I didn't have to pretend with you. I felt like you actually saw me; that you saw who I really am. And yet you still wanted to be my friend. You are freedom Magnus, because with you I have somewhere I can finally fit in".

Both of them were freely crying now. Magnus didn't know who moved first, but all of a sudden they were clutching at each other, holding on tightly as they cried, all the sorrow, regret and heartache of the last two weeks flowing out of them as they sat side by side. A considerable amount of time passed like that before Magnus dared speak again.

"So where do we go from here?" Magnus couldn't help the hope that crept into his voice. He needed Alec back in his life, and it looked like he might just get that.

"Honestly I have no idea. I just know I can't keep ignoring you. Doing that won't make Will talk to me, and since he's determined to ignore me, why should I make both of us even more miserable? He'll listen when he's ready to listen". Magnus could see that Alec was trying to convince himself of this, but the boy had just passed him a lifeline and he wasn't going to pass up on it.

Shifting as close to Alec as he possibly could, he gently took one of Alec's hands in both of his, looking directly into his deep blue eyes as he willed him to feel what he felt. The fact that Alec had not pulled his hand away gave him hope that maybe he would agree to go on a date. He didn't know if he could take the rejection, but if he never asked he would never know.

"Alec Lightwood. Alexander. Will you go on a date with me?"

There was a moment of silence as Alec took the time to think. A moment when all Magnus could hear was his own heart beating. All he could feel was the gentle puffs of breeze that hit his face as Alec breathed. There was only Alec and Magnus. Two teenagers on the brink of something special. If only they would take the leap.

* * *

 **A/N-** Thank you to everyone who has followed, clicked favourite or left a review. I can't believe this story reached 40 followers this week.

darkparadise994- Thank you! I'm so glad you like it.


	16. Chapter 16- Films and Food

**A/N-** Hi everyone! Happy New Year/New Year's Eve (depending on your time zone), I hope you have a wonderful year. Now on with the story; a chapter I think a few of you have been waiting for...

 **Disclaimer:** Characters belong to Cassandra Clare.

* * *

Alec was a mess. He was going out on a date. With a male. In public.

These thoughts kept swirling round and round in his head until they were a jumbled mess and Alec was no longer sure when one concern started and another ended. He wasn't entirely sure what he was most worried about. Maybe it was the fact that this was his first date and he didn't want to make himself look like an idiot. He wasn't a fool; he knew Magnus had dated before, but this thought just made him more nervous because Magnus had something to compare him to. He didn't want to be measured against people he knew were probably better than him in some way.

But more than this he was also worried about the fact that they were going out in public; he just couldn't shake the feeling that they would bump into someone they knew and that before he knew it his parents would find out his secret and would want nothing to do with him. The more rational part of Alec felt that maybe he was being too harsh on his parents, but he couldn't help it. Maybe it's because it's the thing he's afraid of most; that the more he thinks about it, the more he convinces himself that is what is going to happen.

 _Stop thinking about such negative things, you're supposed to enjoy yourself this evening_ , Alec mentally scolded himself. So he decided to focus on something he should be worrying about; his clothes. Ideally he would ask his sister but she was at Clary's house for a sleepover and he didn't want to tell her about this. Not yet. Sadly this meant that with just 15 minutes before he had to meet Magnus at the end of the street he still had no idea what he was going to wear. He had chosen a pair of dark grey jeans that were just a little tighter than he usually wore (nowhere near as tight as what Magnus wore, he wasn't quite ready for that, thank you very much) but he couldn't settle on a top.

Magnus hadn't told him what they would be doing, but Alec would rather be too casual than too formal. So he decided to try to find a nice shirt. The only problem was that the only shirts in his wardrobe had holes in them; he had stupidly put his nice ones in the wash yesterday evening and they still hadn't dried yet. The clock had edged closer six and with only 5 minutes left before he had to leave, he was beginning to panic. He couldn't make a terrible impression on the first date; Magnus wouldn't want to go out with him again.

 _Wait. Magnus_.

And then it hit him. He could wear the shirt Magnus made for him.

* * *

Magnus sat in the driver's seat of his car nervously tapping his fingers against the steering wheel. Somehow he was ten minutes early, a fact which startled Magnus greatly. Magnus was NEVER early. In fact he was usually ten minutes late. He supposed the fact that he was early showed how desperate he was to get this right. Alec struck him as the kind of guy who would not only be on time, but would normally be there early; telling you that no, he hadn't been waiting there long. Magnus didn't want his blue eyed beauty to wait in the cold so he chose what he would wear the night before and made himself get ready half an hour earlier than he normally would. The result? He was early and STILL looked fabulous.

Magnus put a lot of work into his outfit today, he wanted to show Alec in every way he knew how that Alec was special. That he meant more to him than anyone else. So he dug out the tight, ripped black jeans he hardly ever wore and settled with the best shirt he owned. It took him a year to save up enough money for it, and as a consequence he only wore it on special occasions. It was pure silk (he knew he'd feel the cold later but it was a price he was willing to pay) a mixture of green and gold thread which meant the shade changed subtly depending on the angle of the light. It was the only thing he saw which ever matched his eyes perfectly. He just hoped Alec would appreciate it.

At the thought of Alec, Magnus glanced at the clock nervously. He may have overestimated Alec when he decided that he was the kind of guy who would always be early, but he was SURE that he was not the kind of guy who would be late. He was far too conscientious for that and cared far too much about how other people saw him. Yet here he was; it was 6:10 and Alec was ten minutes late. The small, insecure and somewhat irrational part of his mind was working on overdrive. What if he had changed his mind? What if he was too scared of going out in public with him? What if he convinced himself that it would make things worse with Will?

All these questions and more were spinning round in his mind at 100mph. He was so caught up in them that he almost didn't see the tall figure approaching him. Almost; Alec was a hard guy not to notice. Magnus had just enough time to get out and lean nonchalantly against the door before Alec came up to him, and the look of admiration on Alec's face was totally worth the £240 he had spent on the shirt.

"You look beautiful Magnus". There was his Alec, shy but firm at the same time. Soft and yet authoritative, leaving no room for discussion. Magnus was shocked, he wasn't one to blush much and yet he could feel the heat pooling at his cheeks. Maybe it's because no one had ever called him beautiful before. He'd been called hot or sexy, but never beautiful. And it meant so much more to him that it was coming from Alec. He couldn't help the huge smile that worked its way onto his face.

"Why thank you darling. Finally ready to go?" Magnus had recovered from his shock enough to tease the other boy for being late, looking on amusedly as Alec ducked his head a little, his blush burning brighter.

"I am so sorry Magnus. I just, my sister wasn't here, and I didn't know what to wear, and I usually don't bother with stuff like that, but I wanted to"-

Magnus took pity on the poor boy and cut off his ramblings before he upset himself further. Really, Magnus was touched that someone so disinterested in fashion would go to so much trouble for him.

"I was only teasing Alec, ten minutes is nothing. I was half an hour late once so maybe it's time I was on the receiving end." With a playful wink he walked to the passenger door of the car and threw it open for Alec (perhaps a bit too enthusiastically, he'd have to be more careful before he broke his mum's car). "You might want to take your coat off though, I've had the heating on and it's more than a little hot in there".

"Oh okay", Alec said as he shrugged the garment off and placed it on the backseat of the car. As he straightened up again Magnus felt his heart stop. Alec was wearing his shirt. The one he had spent hours making him. The back of his mind noted that he was right, the colours brought out his eyes perfectly. But most of his thought was preoccupied with the fact that Alec was wearing HIS shirt. Magnus couldn't describe the feelings that struck him then; all he knew was that it took everything he had not to cry.

"You're wearing the shirt I gave you", he said with a small voice he didn't know he possessed. He kept eye contact with Alec as the other boy blushed and stuttered.

"Y-yeah. It's nice. It reminds me of you". There was that simplicity again, slicing through the barriers Magnus had placed around himself years ago. Magnus was beginning to be concerned by how much he cared about Alec, but he decided he'd push it to one side. He could just take things slow, and that way he wouldn't get too attached. Right?

He shook his head with that last thought as if he could physically dispel it from his body. _Time to get this show on the road_ , he though excitedly.

"As much as I'd love to admire how amazing you look in those jeans all night Alexander I do believe we have a date to get to. So hop on in before you let all the heat out. I don't know about you but this shirt was NOT made for the cold", he added with a dramatic flourish as he clambered into his side of the car. The second he buckled the seatbelt Alec started the same question he'd been asking every hour since yesterday lunchtime when Magnus told him to leave the date planning to him.

"Magnus, will you please just tell me where we're going?" Alec sounded exasperated, but also a little bit fearful. And this fear is what made Magnus cave a little. Just a little.

"Alec I promise it's somewhere where no one who knows you or your family will be, okay? Just trust me."

"Magnus please would you"-

"Nope. You'll just have to wait and see".

* * *

They arrived twenty minutes later, and no matter how many times Alec asked Magnus to at least give him a hint, the glittery teenager would just smirk at him playfully and tell him that he'd 'find out soon enough'. Alec didn't like to admit it, but one of his worst traits was that he wasn't exactly the most patient person. He also didn't want to admit that even though he trusted Magnus, knew that he wouldn't deliberately take him somewhere where he knew there'd be people that knew Alec, Alec couldn't help the sickening nervousness he felt at the thought that someone _might_ come across them. They were going to a public place after all, it's not like Magnus could control who was there.

As it turned out, he could.

"Oh my gosh, you can't be serious! Magnus how on earth did you do this?" Alec was amazed. It took him an embarrassingly long time to realise it, but with five minutes of the journey left to go Alec finally realised where they were going. There was a small cinema/coffee shop on the outskirts of town that showed old movies a couple of times a week. Alec had always wanted to go, but there was never anything on that he could convince other people to go and see. Alec wouldn't say it out loud, but he couldn't think of a better first date. But today was Tuesday; it wasn't supposed to be open today.

Magnus looked pleased at Alec's enthusiasm and had to rush to catch up to the blue eyed boy who had already started moving towards the cinema. "My mum goes to the bingo club every week and she knows this lady there called Caroline." Magnus paused here and looked at Alec a little apologetically before he continued. "My mum may have been a little too excited about this and started to tell her about it. Don't worry though she didn't say who you are or anything." Magnus added the last sentence hastily, noticing how Alec turned a shade or two paler.

"Alec relax, it'll be fine. If my mum trusts her she won't say a thing, okay? Anyway, it turns out Caroline owns this place, and offered to come and run a film for us. I'm not too sure which one she said it was but I think it was one from the 1920s. Is that okay?"

Alec could see how nervous Magnus was; as if the green eyed boy feared Alec would hate the film that was chosen. Really, Alec was just excited by the fact that it would just be him and Magnus, alone, in an entire theatre. At least that way he wouldn't feel like he would have to look over his shoulder every two minutes just to make sure that no one would recognise him.

"Magnus it's more than okay. It's perfect. Thank you." He gave his companion a shy smile which Magnus returned with one that lit up his entire face. Not for the first time Alec thought to himself why Magnus chose _him_. He was so ordinary in comparison to Magnus, yet here he was, looking happy simply because Alec was. It was nice, Alec thought, to have someone who was so determined to make you happy. He couldn't believe he almost threw this chance away completely.

Alec was brought out from his musings as Magnus gently pressed a large box of popcorn in his hands, looking at him with a mixture of amusement and concern.

"Are you okay there, Alec? I asked you what type you wanted like three times, but you never responded. I just went for the mix of sweet and salted, if that's okay?"

Alec smiled a little. He usually went just for the salted popcorn. The mixed one was too unpredictable; Alec liked to know what he was eating before he did so. But then Alec wasn't surprised that Magnus would go for the mixed box; he didn't seem like the kind of person who was afraid to take chances.

"It's fine would you relax a little."

Magnus ducked his head sheepishly, a strong blush building on his cheeks for the second time that evening. "It's your first date Alec I want it to be perfect".

"It's you, I'm sure it will be", Alec responded just as shyly.

They didn't speak again as Caroline lead them to the theatre, telling them that she was just there to run the film and that she won't say anything when unwanted ears would be present.

The two of them sat on one of the sofas (Alec couldn't believe it, there were sofas and arm chairs instead of normal seats, what sort of cinema was this?) at the centre of the room. At first Alec made sure to keep some space between them, but after a few minutes he reminded himself of how stupid he was being. They were on a date and one else was here. He could relax and do what he wanted for once. So that was what he did.

Before he could talk himself out of it, Alec scooted closer to Magnus, resting his head against the other teen's shoulder as Magnus wrapped a comforting arm around him. When he did, Alec couldn't remember why he had tried to avoid this in the first place. Magnus was just so warm, and it was soothing to be held like that. As if he was important to someone. All he could hear was the gentle flow of Magnus' breathing.

It was safe to say Alec had no idea what film was playing.

* * *

At first Magnus was a little disheartened that Alec had sat so far away from him. There was no one else here and Magnus had hoped that would encourage Alec out of his shell a bit. A small part of Magnus wondered whether the reluctance meant that Alec didn't like him as much as he liked Alec. Magnus really hoped that wasn't true; he didn't really know what he would do if his heart was broken again.

So it was safe to say that when Alec scooted closer and rested his head on his shoulder, Magnus couldn't contain his smile or the joy he felt when he got to wrap his arm around the blue eyed beauty. He also couldn't believe that they stayed like that for the whole two hours of the film, just embracing and occasionally eating popcorn when either of them felt like it. Alec's head was a constant weight on his shoulder. It wasn't too heavy, but it was nice to feel him there, to believe that he cared as much as Magnus did. It did, however, mean that Magnus had no idea what happened in the film.

They walked out of the building arm in arm, and Magnus was pleased to see that Alec was far more relaxed than he was going in. He just hoped that wouldn't disappear when he learnt what Magnus had planned next.

"So what did you think of the film darling?"

Magnus watched amusedly as Alec's eyes widened a little, as if he had been caught doing something wrong.

"Um, the film? It was, uh, interesting?"

Magnus decided to tease him a little. "Which bit?"

"Er, the um, the bit with the, ah the, woman and the eh"-

"You weren't paying attention were you?" Magnus had trouble concealing his happiness; if Alec didn't pay attention then that had to mean he had been just as affected by the proximity as Magnus was.

"Sorry". Alec ducked his head while one of his characteristic blushes worked its way onto his cheeks. He looked genuinely apologetic, as if his not knowing what happened would upset Magnus. Well, Magnus couldn't let him believe such inaccurate information.

"Not to worry beautiful, I was a bit distracted myself". Magnus give Alec a playful wink and was rewarded with one of the most beautiful smiles he had ever seen. Magnus loved Alec's smiles, they were shy and cautious and yet utterly sincere.

When the two had completed the short walk back to the car, Magnus gently pulled Alec to a stop. Time to see if he'd be okay with the rest of the date. Magnus was nervous. He'd take Alec back home if that's what he wanted, he didn't want to force the boy to do something he was uncomfortable with. But he also didn't want to have to end the night early. It had taken so long for them to get there, it had cost them (Alec in particular) so much, that he didn't really want their first date to be two hours sat at a cinema in silence (he wasn't entirely sure why they were, it was just the two of them, but he supposed old habits stick).

"So, um, there's a part two, if you'd like?"

Alec looked at him curiously, wondering why Magnus was so nervous all of a sudden. "Are you going to tell me what it is this time, or do I have to wait and find out again?"

Magnus gave him a small smile. "I'll tell you, I think it's only fair you can say no if you don't want to go. I booked us a table at an Indonesian restaurant not too far from here, if you'd like dinner?" Magnus could see half way through the sentence that he had already lost. By the time he had said 'restaurant' Alec had already turned a shade or two paler, his breathing quickening and his eyes widening fearfully.

"Magnus, I don't-I can't. What if someone sees? What if they tell my parents? Magnus I can't let that happen!"

"Alec calm down, it's okay", Magnus' voice was gentle as he pulled the other boy into a comforting hug. "It's twenty minutes further out of town and I booked a table in the secluded part of the restaurant. No one ever knows it's there until they sit in it, so we can't be seen by accident, and if we don't want people to come over we can always ask the waiters to keep it as private as they can".

"Are you sure?" Alec's voice was quiet, and still obviously fearful. But the fact that he was listening had to be a good sign. Right?

"Positive. My mum and I went there the other week and we literally didn't even know there was a table there until one of them dropped a glass. It's sort of sandwiched by two small walls. A bit romantic if you ask me".

There was a slight pause while Alec thought over Magnus' words. Magnus was being honest when he said he'd take Alec home if that was what he really wanted, but he hoped it wouldn't come to that.

"Okay".

 _Wait what? He said okay? Just like that?_

"Are you sure? You really don't have to agree if you don't want to."

"I know. But I trust you Magnus. If you say no one will see us, then I'll give it a go."

* * *

Ten minutes later and Alec was beginning to regret his decision. He didn't want to tell the other boy that; he looked so happy when Alec said he was willing to go that he didn't want to disappoint him now. So he sat there silently staring out of the window going through everything that could possibly go wrong: someone from school could walk in or someone who knew his parents could be the waiter. But even worse? His parents might decide that today would be the day they would go out for dinner and try somewhere new. Alec had never had much success with luck and he wouldn't put it past the universe to mess with him like that.

Alec blinked as Magnus brought the car to a stop. He had been so deep in thought that he hadn't noticed that they arrived. Climbing out of the car quicker than his companion, Alec took the extra minute to admire the exterior of the restaurant. It was small but beautiful. In Alec's opinion it looked more like a bungalow than a restaurant. Flowers covered every window ledge and the archway over the door in a magnificent array of oranges, reds and yellows. There were a few metal tables and chairs dotted out the front which resembled garden furniture (though Alec wasn't too sure why anyone would want to sit outside at this time of year) while statues of different animals could be seen poking through the flowers. All in all, it was quite the odd little place; the only thing that gave any indication of the building being a restaurant was the small sign hanging next to the entrance.

"You know, I don't think I've ever seen a restaurant like this before", Alec told Magnus once the other boy had joined him next to the car, shaking a little as the cold wind seeped through his thin shirt.

"Yes, it's quite easy to miss it. At least it means it's never too busy. One of the waiters told us last time that the majority of their customers are regulars or were told to go there by someone else who had already been. They only ever get people in off the streets 5 or 6 times a week."

Alec was relieved to hear that, it meant there was less chance he'd run into his parents. "Let's get you inside before you freeze shall we? What made you decide to come out without a coat?" Alec couldn't hide his amusement. If Magnus was anything like his sister (which, Alec had come to realise, when it comes to clothes he really is) it would probably have something to do with 'fashion'. In Alec's opinion if that's what 'fashion' needed, it wasn't worth the bother.

The look Magnus gave him was nothing short of incredulous in the extreme. "Alexander." The exasperation was practically dripping from the colourful teen. "It takes time to plan an outfit like this; I'm not going to hide it under a coat. I most certainly am not going to do so when the shirt cost me £240, it would just be a waste of money".

Alec could not have heard that properly. "£240! Are you kidding me? Wow. You'd give my sister a run for her money", Alec added with a small chuckle.

"No sacrifice is too great for fashion, darling. But as much as I'd love to stand out here and talk fashion with you, the food is inside so let's get going". With that Magnus grabbed Alec's hand and gently pulled him towards the entrance, holding the door open for Alec so he could walk in first.

Alec still wasn't completely at ease with being out in public, but he was lucky that the entrance to the restaurant was positioned in such a way that one could get a view of the whole restaurant. After scanning the whole place three times, checking both staff and customer, Alec finally allowed himself to relax. He did not recognise a single face. So when the waitress guided them over to their secluded booth and Alec slid into the oversized leather sofa he gave Magnus a confident smile and promised himself that he wouldn't keep looking over his shoulder every five minutes.

"What do you recommend I get?" Alec had never had Indonesian before and he wasn't too sure what to get. He wasn't a fussy eater, but he wasn't particularly adventurous either. He played it safe so that way he wouldn't waste his money.

"Um, I think you're good to choose pretty much anything. My mum and I have been here a couple of times and always get something different and I haven't been disappointed so far. But if you want I can order a couple of things for us to share. What's your favourite meat?"

"I don't really mind, you can choose."

"Alec." Magnus raised an eyebrow and looked at the blue eyed teenager expectantly. Alec knew he wouldn't get away with not answering.

"Beef".

"Okay then, rice or noodles?"

"Magnus I don't really think it's fair"- Alec broke off when Magnus gave him another pointed look and sighed with defeat. He didn't like being the one getting to make all the choices; they were supposed to be out together. "Noodles".

"See that wasn't so hard now was it?" Magnus asked playfully. Alec sat quietly as the waitress came over and took their orders, looking over at Magnus with a small smile once she was gone.

"You know you really didn't have to let me pick both items".

"Technically _I_ chose what to get", Magnus replied playfully.

"Yes, but based on what I told you. This is your date too you know."

"I know." Magnus gave him a sheepish smile. "But I've already told you I want it to be perfect for you, so let's stop with the complaining okay?" Both perfectly shaped eyebrows were raised, a challenging look in those golden-green eyes daring Alec to complain one more time.

"Okay. Will you at least tell me what you chose?"

"Nope". Magnus popped the 'p', his smile morphing into a smirk before a look of utter panic crossed his face. "Wait, you're not allergic to anything are you?"

"What if I am?"

"Shit. Wait, I can go get her. She just left, if we're quick enough"-

Magnus broke off as Alec started laughing hysterically. Head tilted backwards and tears gathering in his eyes, Alec laughed until he couldn't breathe anymore. Every time he calmed down enough, the wounded look Magnus gave him set him off again.

"Oh Magnus", Alec wheezed once the laughing had subsided to controllable chuckles. "You should've seen your face; I've never seen anyone that scared in my life. And that included the time my sister thought it would be nice to make Jace breakfast for his birthday".

Magnus' wounded look turned into a full pout as he crossed his arms over his chest and looked stubbornly at the table. "It's not funny Alec."

Alec held his thumb and forefinger close together. "Just a little".

"Not at all. Allergies aren't something to joke about. What if I really did get you something you're allergic to? I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I made you sick. Or even worse, if I killed you."

Alec blinked at that. He hadn't thought about that. Alec could tell Magnus was trying so hard to make today special, of course he'd be upset if he made Alec sick.

"I'm sorry Magnus, I didn't think of that. I promise I'm not allergic to anything". But Magnus still had his arms crossed as he stared miserably at the table.

"Please don't be mad with me". Alec bit his lip as he tried to think about what to do next. It looked like Magnus was as stubborn as his sister and was going to make him work for it. Quickly glancing around to confirm once again that no one could see them, Alec slipped out from his bench and into Magnus'. He sat as close to the green-eyed boy as he did in the cinema, one hand resting on one of Magnus' arms as he gazed up into his cat-like eyes.

"Please". Alec watched as the corner of Magnus' mouth twitched in an involuntary smile as he unfolded his arms and wrapped one around Alec's waist. Alec tensed at first, they were out in public and if they sat like this they could no longer say they were just friends if anyone saw them. But since they had been there for fifteen minutes and no one had seen them yet, Alec forced himself to relax. He may not have shifted any closer to Magnus but at least this way he wasn't sitting as if he planned to make a break for it any second.

"How can I be mad when you look at me all adorably like that?"

Job done, Alec started to get up to return to his side of the table but a slight squeeze of Magnus' arm stopped him in his tracks.

"Where do you think you're going Blue Eyes? The other side of the table is too far away, I much prefer to have you over here".

"But what if someone sees?"

"No one will see Alec, just try to relax."

 _Easier said than done,_ Alec thought to himself as the waitress returned with their food and divided it into two servings. Alec could feel Magnus' eyes on him as he took a bite of the beef. It was unlike anything Alec had eaten before. He could definitely taste the chilli, but he wasn't expecting to have coconut as well; beef and coconut were not two things he ever thought went together. But they did. Amazingly.

"This is beautiful", he exclaimed as he continued to eat the meat as quickly as he could. The noodles (packed with shrimps and chicken) were delicious as well, but Alec thought they were far outdone by the beef.

Magnus chuckled as Alec ate as if he couldn't get the food down quick enough. "I told you how this restaurant works. They make you not want to go anywhere else. Trust me, everything seems to pale in comparison to this".

Nothing was said after this as the two teenagers continued to eat their dinner, occasionally glancing at the other and offering small smiles when they (inevitably) got caught. It didn't take long for the two to finish and order dessert (a traditional cake that Alec wasn't even going to attempt to pronounce) for them to share. It was as they were waiting for it to arrive that they started to talk once again.

"You know Alec, I've heard stories that you're not as lovely as you seem".

Alec turned his head sharply to the right to stare questioningly at Magnus. "What stories?"

"Oh, just something about filling your friends' bathroom with ducks. I can't decide if it was cruel or brilliant. Maybe a bit of both."

Alec gave Magnus a small smile. Only Will would have had the time to tell Magnus a story like that and the fact painfully reminded him of his friend who was still ignoring him. Who was probably sat at home miserable while he was out having one of the best nights of his life.

"Do you feel bad?" Alec asked quietly, Magnus' comments about the duck incident temporarily forgotten.

Magnus raised an eyebrow in confusion. "About what?"

"About Will. I can't help feeling guilty that I'm having a great time and he's probably alone and upset. I wish I could do something to make it better. But I don't know what."

"He'll come around eventually Alec, I know it. I could see in the way he talked about you and Jace that he loves you both dearly. Maybe he just needs time to cool down a bit".

Alec could tell that Magnus was almost trying to convince himself by the end of his comments, but he appreciated the effort Magnus put in to making him feel better.

"I suppose you're right".

"Oh Alexander", Magnus purred with his playful smirk back once again, "I'm always right".

Just as Alec opened his mouth to reply the waitress returned with their dessert and placed it in front of them. _I guess coconut is a popular ingredient_ , Alec thought to himself as he started eating the cake. There was a short period of silence between the two as they ate their desserts, Alec finishing his quicker than he would like to admit. It was as they were finishing their drinks that Alec remembered the accusation which had been thrown at him earlier on.

Turning towards Magnus, Alec crossed his arms and shot Magnus the most annoyed look he could muster. "You know, I've not forgotten those accusations you threw at me earlier. I bet Will never told you **why** I put ducks in their bathroom?"

"Not really, I think I was too busy laughing".

"Well I'll have you know it was after they hid all my arrows when I had to train, TWO DAYS before a national competition which THEY entered me into even though I didn't want to do it. So in reality 5 tiny ducklings pales in comparison to the national humiliation I was going to endure! If anyone is cruel it's the other two." Alec finished his rant breathing heavily. In his frustration he hadn't noticed the confusion that had worked its way onto Magnus' face.

"Wait a second, Alec. Arrows? Competition? What are you talking about?"

 _Ah shit_ , Alec thought. He wasn't going to tell Magnus about his archery. He wasn't ashamed of it, but no one knew he did it and that was the way he liked it. No one built up expectations of him. The only people that he'd disappoint if he did badly were his family and himself. They wouldn't tease him for it, but would help him improve for the next competition. Alec hated the pressure that came with people knowing you're good at something; if you got something wrong they'd act like it was the most dramatic thing to happen in their day. It made him incredibly self-conscious, and he didn't want his archery to be tainted by that.

"Um, well I do archery. Jace did it for his birthday party once, and it sort of progressed from there."

Magnus had both eyebrows raised at this point. "That is hot. How come I never knew about this? Can I come and watch?"

"NO." Alec winced at his harsh response. He hadn't meant to be so forceful, but he panicked. The hurt look on Magnus' face, real unlike his teasing earlier on, made Alec wish he could be a bit braver. "I'm sorry Magnus, I didn't mean for it to come out like that. I just don't like people watching me. I barely like having my family there sometimes."

"Why? If you're in national competitions you must be pretty good."

"I don't like the pressure it puts on me. If there are people I know watching I feel like I have to do well or they'll start to look at me differently or laugh behind my back. It's silly I know, and I know you'd never laugh at me. It just makes be uncomfortable. Maybe one day, I'll bring you to a practice."

Magnus gave him a small smile. "I'd like that".

After paying for the bill, splitting it equally down the middle since both of them insisted on paying, the two made their way out of the restaurant and towards Magnus' car. Alec could see Magnus glance at his hand a couple of times and guessed that the glittery teenager wanted to hold it, but Alec just couldn't bring himself to do it. Back in their booth it was okay, no one could see them. But out on the street? There was a strong chance that someone could see them, and Alec wasn't going to have that.

Magnus turned the heating on as soon as they were sat in the car with their seat belts fastened, but given how much he was shaking from the short walk, Alec wasn't surprised. "You know next time, you don't have to freeze yourself to be 'fashionable', you look good in everything you wear, you know".

"My, my, my" Magnus teased. "'Next time'; assuming a second date are we?"

Alec was taken aback by this. He had a great time this evening, but that didn't mean Magnus did. Maybe he was just assuming things and Magnus was about to tell him that he had made a mistake and they shouldn't have gone on a date in the first place. "Oh. Um, I mean i-if you want? I mean you don't have to"-

"I would love to", Alec's ramblings were broken off by Magnus' gentle voice. "I'll even let you pick what we do".

A radiant smile shaped Alec's lips at Magnus' words. "Great. Same time next week?" _Or is that too eager?_ Alec thought to himself. Well, he guessed it was too late to take the words back now.

"That works for me".

"I'll drive though, can't ruin the surprise."

Magnus let out a faint groan of frustration as he pulled into the road. "I hate surprises".

"Well so do I and you didn't take any pity on me. You'll just have to wait until next week".

The roads were quiet as they drove meaning that it wasn't long until they reached the road next to Alec's house where he had asked to be dropped off. Magnus pulled the car up to the side of the road and turned the engine off, undoing his seatbelt as he turned to face Alec.

"I had a great time tonight, thank you."

"So did I." There was a pause as Alec thought about what he was going to say next. It wasn't fair to ask this, but Magnus knew he wasn't comfortable with people knowing about his sexuality. He had to know Alec wouldn't be comfortable with their relationship being public, right? "Um, Magnus do you think it's okay if we"-

"Keep this to ourselves and just let everyone at college think we're friends?"

Alec just nodded his head, avoiding eye contact as he couldn't bring himself to speak.

Magnus was having none of that though and gently placed his hand under Alec's chin, urging him to look in his eyes as he shifted further forwards in his seat. "Don't look like that, Alec. It's absolutely fine. I've been there and I can wait until you're ready."

Alec swallowed the lump that was forming in his throat. "Are you sure, it just doesn't seem fair."

"I'm positive. It wouldn't be fair for me to ask you to come out either. So for now, I can wait."

"Thank you", Alec whispered. He wasn't sure what happened next, but all he knew was that Magnus was slowly leaning forward. _What do I do?_ Alec thought in a panic. No one had ever kissed him before, so he wasn't sure how he should respond. Then there was the fact that they were sat in a car, in the road next to his house where anyone could walk past and see them. So he panicked, and pulled backwards, dropping his gaze so he wouldn't have to see the hurt and disappointment in Magnus' green eyes. "I've got to go. I'll see you tomorrow yeah?"

"Of course".

It was just as Alec was about to leave that he let himself look up into Magnus' eyes, the hurt and disappointment he expected to find absent. Instead there was nothing, as if he had built a wall around himself.

"Thank you for everything Magnus." He gave his companion a hesitant smile, "I'm looking forward to next week I hope you'll like what I choose".

"If you choose it darling, I'm sure I'll love it."

"I hope so", he muttered as he opened the door and climbed out. "Goodnight Magnus". It was only once he had shut the door and turned the corner, fishing his keys out of his coat pocket that he allowed himself to dwell on his only regret.

He really wished he had let Magnus kiss him.

* * *

 **A/N-** thank you to everyone who's read this story, and to TawnyFire for your review!


	17. Chapter 17- Will

**A/N-** So...remember me? Hi everyone, I am so sorry for disappearing for over a month. Long story short, university has taken over my life. But, as promised I'm not giving up on this, my updates might just be a bit slow for a while. I will try my best to get the next one up earlier though. But as always, I hope you enjoy this chapter, and thank you to everyone who has read this.

* * *

Alec was a little concerned about how things would be between him and Magnus the next day at college. They had agreed to act as friends at school (mainly so no one would find out Alec's secret, but also because they didn't want to upset Will more than they already had), but Alec wasn't convinced they'd be able to do that. Surely after going on a date together something would be different? He was worried they would look at each other in a way that would tell everyone that they were dating. It was a worry that preoccupied him all morning as he tried to finish his comparative essay for English Lit and as he finished his personal statement about why he has a 'love for History'. By the time lunch rolled around, Alec had worried so much that he wasn't sure he'd be able to eat. But he knew Magnus would be expecting him to sit with all their friends again and he didn't want to let him down once more.

Feeling more nervous than he probably should, Alec slowly made his way outside (despite the ever dropping temperature) to what had become 'their table'. Being five minutes late, he wasn't surprised that he was the last person there. He also wasn't surprised that somehow, the only seat left was the one between Magnus and his sister (the smug look she shot him suggesting it was entirely her doing). He was, however, surprised to find Jace sat with them deep in conversation with Clary.

"You took you're time brother, what has you running late?" Trust his sister to not even wait for him to sit down before she started questioning him.

"I lost track of time doing coursework", he lied avoiding her gaze as he took his sandwich and a salad out of his bag. In doing so, he felt Magnus place his hand gently above his knee, but before Alec had time to panic it was gone again, the colourful teenager turned to the side as he talked to Simon about some film that had just come out. He couldn't help the small smile that worked its way onto his lips; Magnus might be showing him affection, but he was doing it carefully so no one else would notice. Well, almost no one.

"What are you smiling about?" His sister looked at him with narrowed eyes, the lunch in front of her all but forgotten.

"Nothing. Am I not allowed to smile anymore?"

"So it has nothing to do with whatever kept you out (all dressed up I might add) until 11 last night?"

There was a minute of sputtering as Alec choked on the mouthful of salad he had just eaten, Magnus hitting him lightly on the back as the table turned to look at him with concerned expressions on their faces.

"Are you okay, Alec?" Jace looked like he was going to get up as his golden eyes filled with concern.

"I'm fine", Alec managed to force out once the choking had subsided and all that was left was a sore throat. "It just went down the wrong way; you can all get back to your conversations now". They continued to look at him for another moment or two, a collective shrug passing through the group as they all turned to their conversation partners. All except his sister who gave him a knowing look and a teasing smile as she took a bite of her smoked salmon sandwich.

"Something you want to tell me, brother?" She leaned closer and added in a confidential whisper "anything to do with a certain make-up wearing Asian?"

Alec pulled away slightly, annoyed that his sister had worked it out so quickly and that she would question him here of all places. She knew he was terrified of people finding out.

"I don't know", Alec retorted perhaps a bit too harshly, "is there anything you want to tell _me_?" He mirrored his sister in leaning closer towards her whispering so only she could hear; "perhaps about why you keep staring at a certain glasses-wearing sci-fi enthusiast?" He leaned back, proud of the way he made his sister's eyes widen and mouth hang open. He wasn't blind; he didn't miss the not-so-subtle looks she kept giving Simon every few minutes. It did however seem that Simon was oblivious enough for the both of them.

"I don't know what you're talking about", Isabelle replied stiffly.

"Well then", Alec started aware of the escape route that had opened up. "Perhaps if neither of us knows what the other is talking about we can move on to another topic of conversation."

"Like Will?" His sister asked gently, noticing the way Alec's smile dimmed and a degree of sadness settled in his blue eyes.

"Have you seen him at all?" Alec hoped she had, perhaps she would be able to pass on a message for him.

"Only at a distance. I think I saw him head out to the cafe down the road a little while ago. I tried to call out to him, but he just kept going."

"This is a mess Isabelle. I don't know what to do!"

She gave him a sad smile as she picked up her sandwich again. "I don't think there's anything you can do but wait. It'll sort itself out eventually".

"I hope you're right", Alec added sadly as he turned once again to his salad.

* * *

Will was sat at a small table in a local coffee shop not too far from his college. He had a free period before lunch and, knowing that Alec and Jace would be sat outside (probably with Magnus), he decided to leave an hour early so he wouldn't have to walk past them on his way out of the school. He had intended to get some work done while he drank his coffee but his mind, as it so often did these days, kept straying. To golden-green eyes, cold sneers and looks of betrayal. All of it ran around his mind until he couldn't think anymore.

With a dejected sigh he put the play he had been trying to read back in his bag and took a miserable bite out of his ham and cheese sandwich; there was no point trying to read if it wasn't going in and he didn't want to risk spilling coffee on his work just because he wasn't paying any attention. He was halfway through his sandwich when the chair opposite him was pulled back and someone settled into it, placing a small teapot and delicate cup on the table in front of them.

"You know, most people think it's rude to sit down without asking", Will said sarcastically before looking up at the intruder. He was shocked at what he saw. The boy opposite him had to be about the same age, with a slender frame and practical choice of clothing. But amongst all this, the boy had silver hair and eerie silver eyes which Will was sure couldn't be real. He had a small smile on his face as he poured himself a cup of tea; if he was offended by Will's abruptness he didn't show it.

"You looked like you could use the company", he replied simply with a smooth, melodic voice.

"Not really. I came to be alone". And he had. He was fed up of his mother and younger sister giving him pitying glances every time they were in a room together. He was fed up of having to pretend he was okay in front of everyone at school, laughing and joking when all he wanted to do was scream and curse.

Silver eyes suddenly met his as the other boy replied. "Take it from someone who knows, being alone very rarely works when one is hurting".

Will could feel himself getting defensive. "Who said I"-

"It is fairly obvious", the other boy gave him a small shrug as he took a sip of his tea. "If you know what to look for that is". Will was beginning to feel thoroughly confused and some of this must have started to show on his face as his silver haired companion continued. "Perhaps I should introduce myself. My name is Jem; I live with the Branwells".

 _Oh, that explains it then_ , Will thought to himself as he took the hand that the other boy extended. Everyone had heard of the Branwells. Mrs Branwell had inherited a large house from her father and the two decided that they would use it to foster children who needed homes.

Will was dragged out of his internal musings as his companion gave him an amused, yet expectant, expression. It was only then that Will noticed that Jem was waiting for him to introduce himself as well. "Oh. Sorry, I'm Will".

"Well. Pleasantries aside, what is bothering you Will?"

Will let out a humourless laugh. "It's a long story".

"I have time".

 _Wow, this guy is stubborn_. "I don't really think you want to be burdened with this".

"If it bothered me I would not have asked".

"It's not really something I like to talk about".

"Which means you probably should. Trust me Will, I have spent many years ignoring what hurts me, it has never done me any favours".

"You're not going to give this up are you?" Will would be amused, if not impressed, by Jem's stubbornness if it didn't mean that he would be revealing his most personal secrets to someone he had only met five minutes ago.

Jem gave him a small smile. "I am afraid not. Tessa always tells me I am too stubborn, but it is not something I have been able to improve on".

"I've really mucked up", Will relented, pushing his now empty plate and half empty coffee cup to the side as he placed his elbows on the edge of the table, holding his head in his hands for a minute as he tried to put his thoughts into order. "There are two people I care about more than anyone else, except my mum and sister. I've pushed them away because I chose not to believe in someone who has had my back for as long as I can remember. And if I'm being honest Jem, I don't know what to do without them".

"Then why did you push them away?" Jem's voice was gentle, but guiding as if he knew Will wouldn't be able to say it on his own but wanted to get if off his chest anyway.

"Because I'm an idiot. I should have believed him when he said I didn't hear the whole conversation, instead I chose to believe that he would agree to go on a date with someone I had feelings for. It's just, thinking he would do that, it hit too close to home and I reacted without thinking".

Jem was quiet for a minute as he drank his tea, Will gulping the rest of his now cold coffee. "Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why did it hit so close to home", Jem elaborated.

"You're not making this easy are you?"

"Talking about how we really feel is rarely easy Will; it is why we spend so long trying to hide from it".

Will bit his lip. This was not something he talked about. Ever. Not even with Jace and Alec. It was the worst year of his life and he didn't like to relive it. But if Jem lived with the Branwells then there was every chance that he had suffered just as much as he had and would understand that he didn't want to be looked at with pity. Out of anyone he could have talked to, Jem was perhaps most likely to understand. And maybe he was right. Talking about it wouldn't be easy, but maybe it would help. It certainly couldn't make things any worse.

"My sister was two years older than me", he began in a soft voice. He could feel Jem's eyes on him, but he was looking at the table, consumed with images from two years ago. Images he knew he would never forget, no matter how hard he tried.

"She always looked after me; held my hand when we had to walk through the park filled with ducks, always let me have the last cookie. I'd go to her first every time I hurt myself or someone upset me. She was my hero you know? She was so kind, beautiful as well; she had everything going for her. She spent years working hard to get a scholarship to go to Cambridge. I was the first person she told when she got her acceptance letter, and I was so proud of her. She went out celebrating with a couple of friends a week later. They weren't out late because she'd promised she would take me to the cinema the next day. She sent me a text to let me know she would be back in about an hour and the next thing I know my mum's running up the stairs and dragging me out of the house into the car. I couldn't really get much out of her; I think she'd gone into shock or something. The policeman told me later that some idiot was drink-driving and lost control of his car.

I'll never forget the sight of her in that hospital bed. She looked so broken. My brave, strong big sister. She was like a little doll, machines and wires everywhere, bandages around her face and chest. The doctors said she probably wouldn't last the night but I didn't believe them. She couldn't die. She'd spent her life fighting for what she wanted, she couldn't give up now. She couldn't leave me she promised she'd always look after me. So I spent the night hoping she'd be okay, that she'd wake up and I could tell her how much she meant to me. But she never did."

Will could feel the tears that were pouring down his face, but he found that now he had started talking it was too difficult to stop. "It broke my parents' marriage, it did. I think there had been something wrong for a while, but every time I asked my sister she just brushed it off and said I had nothing to worry about. But she was wrong and not two days after the funeral my dad left. He didn't care about me or my sister, he just upped and left. I know my mum tried to compensate for it but she was still mourning, and there were times when I couldn't really get much out of her. So instead I made sure that Cecily had me to look after her, make sure she had someone to go to just like I had Ella.

But who did I turn to? I had Jace and Alec, and they were great. They always had me over or came around my house. They kept an eye on me and tried to cheer me up when they saw me getting too sad. But who did I have to really love me? I know my mum did, but there were times when her grief made it hard to see it.

It was about 4 months after my sister's accident that I met Jessamine. She was a pretty girl with long blond hair and warm brown eyes. She was smart and made me laugh in a way I hadn't done for months. We started dating and the more I went out with her, the faster I fell for her. I told her all about my sister, my dad leaving and having to watch out for Cecily. I let my guard down for her; trusted her in a way I had never trusted anyone else. I guess, now I didn't have my sister to turn to, I depended on her more than I should have.

We had been together for 5 months when I finally decided I would tell her I loved her. And I really though she felt the same; she'd been understanding when I told her about my family, she always seemed to know how to cheer me up and always seemed interested in what I had to tell her. But I was so wrong. I told her I loved her and do you know what she did? She laughed. Laughed, and I had no idea why. I thought she cared about me, but do you know why we were together? She had a crush on Jace and thought the best way to get him to notice her would be to make him jealous by dating his cousin. She never cared about me, not for a second. I was just a tool she could use to get what she wanted.

So after all of that, after losing the person I looked up to most, and being used by the person I depended on most after my sister died, realising that the only other person I let myself have feelings for wanted one of my friends _again_ was just too much. Because it made me think, what is it about me that makes me so incapable of being loved?"

Will's voice broke during this last sentence, the tears that had never stopped still pouring down his cheeks. The two boys sat in silence for a moment as Will felt a gentle hand grab his, the sudden contact startling him enough that he looked up into Jem's patient gaze. It was only then that he noticed the tissue that the other boy was holding out to him.

"Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me".

Will snorted. "What, no 'sorry for your loss?'"

"I thought we agreed I know what I am talking about. Apologies are meaningless in these situations. But perhaps I am not the person who needs to hear this."

"No."

"Look Will"-

"No Jem, I can't tell Alec this. I couldn't stand it if he looked at me with pity".

"But surely that is better than not having him around at all?"

"I just can't, okay?" Will looked at him pleadingly, his eyes begging him to drop the matter,

"Of course, I apologise for intruding. I understand that it is perhaps a bit invasive to be telling all this to a stranger who then insists you tell someone else".

"Don't apologise. You were right, telling someone has helped".

"I do hope we can be more than strangers though, you interest me Will".

Will let out his first genuine laugh in over a week. "I could say the same about you, Jem".

"Then come to the Branwells at some point, I know Tessa would love to meet you too".

"I think I'd like that", Will replied as he leant back in his seat thinking for the first time in a while, that perhaps everything might just be okay.

* * *

 **A/N-** Honestly, after Alec, Jem is my favourite character.


	18. Chapter 18- No Regrets

**A/N-** What's this? An update in less than a month? I hope you all like this one, and as always, any feedback is welcome.

 **Disclaimer** \- Characters still belong to Cassandra Clare.

* * *

"You're still not going to tell me where we're going are you?"

"Nope. Consider it revenge for last time".

Alec let out a small laugh as Magnus sighed dramatically, crossing his arms as he turned to look out the window. Alec wasn't too sure why; as it was the end of November it was already beginning to get too dark to see things clearly. They had been in the car for 15 minutes and he could tell Magnus was beginning to get a bit impatient. _Tough_ , Alec thought, _he kept me in the dark, so it's only fair that I do the same_. It was as Alec joined the motorway that Magnus spoke again.

"What, are we fleeing the country Alec?"

"Don't be ridiculous. I'm glad you listened to me and put practical clothes on for once, I'm not too sure your usual, painful looking contraptions that you call shoes would be suitable for what I have planned".

Magnus gave him a look that could only be described as pure horror. "Please tell me we aren't doing some form of exercise".

"It'll be fun, trust me".

"I do. But I look horrendous".

"You look beautiful Magnus because _you_ are beautiful, it doesn't matter what you wear." Alec could see the dark blush that had built on Magnus' cheeks, but he meant every word. Magnus may have been in sensible black trainers (he didn't know Magnus owned anything that was plain black), a plain white shirt and grey jeans (looser than he usually wore but still not as baggy as the jeans Alec preferred) but he was still gorgeous. Especially when he smiled at Alec, looking like he still couldn't believe that Alec was with him.

It wasn't too long after this that Alec stopped the car in an empty car park outside an intimidating building. He held the door as Magnus climbed out, hiding his hands in the pockets of his colourful hoodie. The two walked close together as they approached the side entrance of the building, so close that Alec felt Magnus tense as a shadow started towards them.

"Um, Alec, what's going on here?"

"Oh be patient, you'll find out what we're doing in a minute."

"But why is no one else here, it looks like some sort of sport complex".

"It's usually shut on Tuesday evenings. You're not the only person who can pull some strings you know."

"Alec!" An enthusiastic voice greeted him before he could explain any further. A moment later he was pulled into a brief hug before he was released and a set of keys placed in his hand. "As promised, it's yours for the next three hours. Make sure you don't leave without letting me pick up the keys. I've left the lights on and the equipment cupboard is unlocked, I've also left you both a couple of pizzas so you can have something to eat".

"Thanks, Peter I really appreciate it".

"No worries, I'm glad to help out".

"Um. Does anyone want to explain what's going on?" Alec turned to Magnus then, ashamed that he had momentarily forgotten that he was stood right next to him. Confusion was etched into every inch of Magnus' face.

"Oh. Sorry. Magnus this is Peter, he owns this facility. Peter this is Magnus."

"How do you two know each other?"

"I come here a lot", Alec tried not to be too detailed in his answer; Magnus was making it difficult to keep their date a secret.

"To do what exactly?"

Alec smiled a little; it was becoming clear that Magnus was just as stubborn as he was himself. "You'll find out soon enough".

Alec watched as Magnus quickly glanced wearily at Peter before he leaned closer to Alec to whisper; "but I thought you didn't want anyone to know about us?"

Alec was touched that Magnus was doing so much to help keep his secret but since Peter was stood right there, there was no way he couldn't have heard what Magnus said; he wasn't a very discreet whisperer. Sure enough, Peter soon started to chuckle.

"Alec has no need to worry about me. He knows I won't say anything, especially when unwanted ears are present. I don't want Alec to make the same mistake I did. I've spent so long trying to hide who I am from my parents I never gave myself the opportunity to care for someone, to have someone care for me. If I can help Alec with this, I will. Now, I do believe you two have a date so go off and have fun. I'll be out here later to pick up the keys again."

Alec watched Peter walk away, his nerves building as he opened the door. He really hoped Magnus liked what he had planned. He felt Magnus take his hand as they entered the complex, giving it a gentle squeeze as he locked the door behind them; he didn't want anyone else coming in after all.

"Alec relax, it'll be fine".

Alec hadn't noticed how tense he was until then, but now he thought about it he could feel the slight tremors running through his hands. He forced himself to take a deep breath as he smiled at Magnus, guiding him down the halls that had become a second home to him. As they reached the largest space at the centre of the complex he could feel his excitement start to build; he had always felt comfortable here and just doing something he loved was enough to calm his nerves considerably.

He made sure that he went through the heavy double doors before Magnus, holding one open so he could see the look on his face when he walked in. If the way his eyes widened and a massive grin worked its way onto his face told Alec anything, it was that he needn't have worried in the first place. He remembered the first time he had come here for Jace's birthday; how the high ceiling had been intimidating at first, the row of targets at the back of the long room seeming impossibly far away. True to his word, Peter had left two pizzas on one of the low tables in the middle of the row near the door and Alec could see that the equipment cupboard at the back corner of the room was slightly ajar.

He turned to Magnus with a wide grin, bemused at the confusion in Magnus' eyes.

"Surprise!"

He could see Magnus visibly pull himself together as he took in the targets at the back of the room. "I thought you said you didn't like it when people watched you do archery?"

"Well I was thinking about it, and this isn't really watching since you'll be taking part too. Plus this isn't a competition so there are no expectations for me to disappoint. I consider this messing around. But this place means a lot to me so I wanted you to see it." Alec averted his eyes with this last sentence, but he could still feel the blush covering his cheeks.

It wasn't until Magnus took one of his hands that he looked up again, seeing the gentle smile that Magnus gave him. "I'm touched you trust me enough to do so. I should warn you that I probably won't be very good though".

"It doesn't matter. I told you this is just for fun. I always beat Will and Jace anyway. Hey, do you want a competition?"

"What is it with you and competitions?"

Alec shrugged. "I don't know; I've just always been competitive".

"Alec there's no point in agreeing, you'll beat me anyway"

"Are you sure?"

"Positive."

Alec let out a frustrated huff. "Fine. Pizza first or archery?"

"Pizza. Definitely pizza".

Once the two sat down it didn't take them long to get through the food that was left for them. And once they had, that was when the fun really started.

After determining that Magnus' dominant eye was his right one Alec left him to clear away the pizza boxes whilst he rooted through the equipment cupboard for the relevant safety equipment, some arrows and a bow suitable for both of them. The first two were no trouble and he knew he could handle any of the bows they had there, the problem was that it had been so long since he was a beginner himself that he wasn't too sure what Magnus could handle; the bigger bows could be quite heavy, especially if you were only just getting to understand how to use them. It took him a little while but he eventually settled on one of the medium/large ones; not too heavy to cause too much difficulty but also not too light so as to suggest a lack of confidence in Magnus. He didn't want to offend the teenager while they were out on a date after all.

By some miracle he managed to carry everything they needed in one go, carefully dumping everything on the table that once held their pizza boxes. Only then did he look up into Magnus' amused eyes.

"There you are. You were so long in there I was beginning to think you were digging an escape tunnel".

"No, of course not it just took me a while to find everything we needed." Alec watched as Magnus approached the pile looking curious, eventually holding the safety goggles he had brought between his thumb and forefinger as if they were some repulsive rodent he didn't want to be holding.

"Absolutely no way".

"Magnus, you have to wear them. It's just a precaution, the bow probably won't explode but there's a small possibility".

"No Alexander, it's not happening. Plain, boring clothes I can live with but I absolutely draw the line at these."

"Magnus, you would willingly risk losing your eyesight over this?"

"I am not wearing them."

Alec rolled his eyes. "Well I can't force you, but don't say I didn't warn you if anything does happen. But this you are wearing". With that, Alec picked up the arm guards and passed one to Magnus, strapping his on quickly after years of practice. He could, however see that Magnus was struggling with only having one arm free to strap it on with. It also didn't help that he was trying to put in on the wrong way around.

"Here, let me do it". With that he gently grabbed Magnus' forearm, holding him in place while he fastened the guard, ensuring it was tight enough to stay in place but not so tight it would cut off his circulation. Alec wasn't sure whether it was the proximity or the fact that he was still annoyed with himself for not letting Magnus kiss him the other week, but for some reason he found the act more intimate than he should have. The slight cough Magnus did as he stepped back suggested that perhaps he felt the same way.

"So why are you forcing that unflattering contraption on me?"

"Oh you can take it off if you want, but you'll probably end up hitting your arm with the string. I do that quite often and I've been doing this for years. Do I have to show you a picture of the burn I got when I broke my brace and had to go without one for a week? I can tell you it wasn't pretty. Hurt like hell as well."

Alec was slightly amused as he saw some of the colour drain from Magnus' face as the other teenager shook his head quickly, holding onto his brace and taking a step backwards as if Alec was going to take it off of him as some form of punishment.

"Good. Then stop complaining and we can get started."

"Awfully bossy tonight aren't you Alec?"

"Says the one who hasn't stopped complaining since the evening started. Now, since we both have the same dominant eye I can show you the correct stance before you try it yourself." Alec got himself into the correct position before he explained to Magnus exactly what had to be done. "Right, since your right eye is dominant you'll be drawing with your right hand, meaning the left will be holding the bow. You want to stand sideways with your feet pointing to the right hand wall and shoulder width apart and you _must_ keep a straight back. Once you've done this you can get your bow ready. The arrow goes between these two little gold rings and one of these coloured paper feather things should point upwards. It might be easier if you have three fingers below the arrow, instead of one above and two below. You must keep your left arm straight. Once you've aimed you can pull the string, keeping your right arm high it should just touch your nose before you let it go". Alec watched as the arrow he fired hit just left of the centre, relieved that he didn't make himself look like a total idiot by completely missing. He still blushed, mind you, at the enthusiastic clapping Magnus gave him.

"Good shot Alec".

He shrugged it off. "It could've been better. Do you want to try, or was it too much information?"

"No I'll give it a go".

Alec watched as Magnus tried to get himself into the correct position. He wasn't too far off but he often had his feet in the wrong place and he seemed to be afraid of pulling the string too close to his face, the result being that most of his arrows either didn't reach the target or only hit the outer ring. He stopped telling Magnus that he would be less afraid of the string if he'd just wear the goggles after said teenager threatened to throw them at him. It was when Magnus groaned in frustration for the tenth time in five minutes that an idea came to Alec. He knew it was cheesy; it occurred in too many of the rom-com films he watched with his sister for it not to be, but he decided to go for it.

"Here let me help you with this one", Alec said as he pushed himself off of the wall he had been leaning on. "Get the bow ready and stand as if you were going to shoot and wait there". If Magnus thought the request was strange he didn't comment.

Alec could see that Magnus had the correct stance and posture, his main problem was in the way he drew the bow, but that worked fine for Alec's plan. Although Alec walked with what he hoped was confidence, he got increasingly more nervous the closer he got, his heartbeat quickening even when he was still several steps away. By the time he was stood right behind his date he thought it was going to beat its way out of his chest. Standing this close to him, he could feel (as well as hear) Magnus' sharp intake of breath, the warmth of his body as he closed his hand around the one Magnus was using to draw the bow, using it to pull it back a little bit further.

"Don't be afraid of it", he told him, his voice quiet as if he was afraid of ruining the atmosphere that had settled around them. "If there isn't enough force behind it, the arrow isn't going to reach the target". After correcting a couple of other mistakes in Magnus' grip he let the other go, only taking a small step back as he told him to fire. And just as he expected, he was a lot closer to the centre.

"YES! Alec did you see that? Look how close I am!" Magnus turned to face Alec with an enthusiastic grin on his face, the action bringing the two closer than either of them intended. The proximity seemed to sober Magnus a little bit, the massive grin on his face dimming a bit as Magnus' eyes darted quickly to Alec's lips.

Alec lost his breath a little when he realised Magnus wanted to kiss him, the anticipation and excitement almost equalled by the nerves he felt. But he was confused when Magnus didn't make a move. They were still close together, he could feel Magnus' gentle breathing, he could see the way he looked at him, and yet Magnus did nothing. With a jolt, Alec realised it might be because he had retreated so quickly last time; perhaps the other teenager was afraid he would do so again. But Alec wasn't prepared to make that mistake again. So pushing away all the fear and insecurity that was trying to hold him back he leaned forward and pressed his lips gently against Magnus', feeling the surprise flow through the green-eyed boy before he settled his arms around Alec's waist.

Alec was careful and tentative in the way he kissed Magnus, gentle as if he thought that if he pressed too hard he might break. He had no idea what he was doing, or what he should be doing. Deep down he knew his father wouldn't approve, but in that moment he didn't care. He didn't care what anyone thought. He didn't care if he was inexperienced or not as good as the other people Magnus had been with. In that moment, with Magnus' lips against his, the other teen's tongue gently tracing the outline of his mouth, everything felt _right_. He was where he should be. The kiss may have been gentle, more caring than passionate, more cautious than demanding, but it was everything Alec wanted to say. And when he pulled away, and Magnus gave him a gentle smile, equally as careful and tender as their kiss had been, Alec knew he had made the right choice.

Even if it would take him months to get over the embarrassment of re-enacting the staple cheesy move of every rom-com love interest.

* * *

"I still can't believe you did that", Magnus laughed as they climbed into the car. Two hours later, with Magnus finally hitting the bulls' eye a couple of times, Peter had arrived to collect the keys. It was starting to get late anyway, and Alec had probably better get back before his parents started asking too many questions. His sister was sure as hell going to start on him the second he returned.

"Shut up", Alec grumbled, his cheeks turning a deep red as he pulled out of the car park and made his way to the motorway.

"Seriously, I didn't know you had it in you, Mr rom-com".

Alec had to fight the urge to whack his head on the steering wheel; crashing the car was not an ideal way to end their date. "Don't. I'm not entirely sure why I did it either". Alec was pleased at the time but regret was slowly beginning to creep in, especially as Magnus continued to laugh.

Magnus must have seen some of what he was thinking because he suddenly grew serious, placing a hand gently above Alec's knee and giving it a slight squeeze, looking at the blue eyed driver with the same intensity he had after they had shared their first kiss. "No regrets Alec, never regret it. I wouldn't have changed a minute of tonight. It was perfect, even if you did completely wipe the floor with me at archery".

This time it was Alec's turn to laugh, his embarrassment forced to the back of his mind. Why should he be embarrassed when it led to a kiss like that?

* * *

 **A/N-** Sorry if any of the archery description is inaccurate; I've only been twice, and even then not for a couple of years. Also, great to see we have some Jem appreciation going on!

Darknesscoming- Looks like you asked at just the right time.

Tawnyfire- Jem deserves nothing but love.


	19. Chapter 19- The Start

**A/N-** Hello, everyone. I am so sorry for not updating for ages, I can't believe people are still looking at this story- thank you for not giving up on it. I would love to say there will be frequent chapters from now on, but unfortunately I've got to tell you the exact opposite. Studying means I won't be able to update until the end of May/beginning of June, but as I promised earlier I'm not giving up on this until it's done. So I hope you all enjoy this chapter, and keep an eye out for the next.

 **Disclaimer-** Characters belong to Cassandra Clare.

* * *

Jem let out a frustrated sigh as he placed his violin carefully back in its case and snapped the locks shut. It had been a while since he had met Will in the coffee shop and it wasn't until he got back home that he realised his mistake; he had told Will he wanted to be friends without actually giving him his number. _Real smooth Jem_. He had tried going back to the coffee shop every day at the same time to see if Will would go there again, but he never did. He almost, _almost_ , gave Tessa a note to pass to him at school, but then realised that she may not actually know who he was. Also it might come across as a bit weird. So he had nothing left to do but hope that somehow they would meet again.

Since he had seen the lonely boy at the cafe, he had been unable to get him out of his mind. The way his eyes reflected a burning love for his family and friends, or the way his mouth pulled up into a slight smile when he thought of happier memories. And well, Jem wasn't going to lie; the teenager was beautiful. The way his hair, a startling contrast to his pale skin, fell slightly into his eyes, the definite build of muscle Jem could see through his shirt; all of it made it impossible to forget him.

Which is why Jem found himself sat miserably in his room, thinking of the boy he'd probably be too shy to ask on a date and hoping that, just once, the universe would let something go right for him. Yet after everything; the loss of his parents and prolonged struggle with ill health, Jem had long ago accepted that things were probably not going to turn out the way he hoped.

The sudden shrill of the doorbell told him that this time, he was wrong.

* * *

Will fidgeted with his hands as he stood outside the imposing house. Four floors high, it was the biggest home he had ever seen, the edges of what looked like a large, well kept garden only just visible. They were now entering the second week of December and the cold weather had well and truly set in, freezing his hands as he waited for someone to answer the doorbell. He was just about to ring again when the door was pulled open and he found himself face to face with a slightly frazzled woman who had to be in her early thirties; her light brown hair falling out of the braid she had put it in.

"Hello, I'm sorry about the wait. How can I help you?"

Will was suddenly nervous. Although Jem had said he would like to be friends, he had not given Will any way to contact him, and although he had looked for the silver eyed boy at school, he couldn't find him anywhere. Going to his house had seemed like the best way to contact him, yet now he was here Will wasn't too sure- he didn't want to interrupt if he was doing something. But if he was honest, Will had missed him. Missed the intriguing colour of his hair and eyes, the way he was quick to comfort someone he didn't even know. It was this that, despite his worry about being a disturbance, drove him towards the large house in the first place. It would be a bit ridiculous to back out now.

"Oh, um, sorry to disturb you Ma'am. My name's Will. I was hoping to speak to Jem, but if now isn't a convenient time I could come back?"

"Nonsense, come on in Will. I'm Charlotte by the way; I take it you're the charming young man Jem was telling me all about?"

"Maybe". Will added a playful wink for good measure, smiling a little as Charlotte let out a strong laugh.

"His room is on this floor. Just go down the corridor to your left and he's the second door on the right. I hope you'll stay for dinner?"

"Oh, I don't want to bother you."

"It's no bother at all. Now, go and see if you can cheer him up for me, I think it's been a bit of a rough day for him". Giving him a gentle pat on the shoulder she turned and walked towards what Will assumed was the lounge area, humming softly as she went.

It didn't take long for Will to find the correct room and he only let himself pause for a moment before he knocked on the door gently, waiting for the soft "come in" before he pushed the door open. Stepping inside the room, he had a sheepish look on his face as he observed the other boy.

Jem was sat on his bed, a heavy book open on his lap. He looked up when the door opened, a bright smile gracing his lips when he saw who had entered. _And man, is he beautiful when he smiles,_ Will thought. Though looking at him, he seemed much paler than when they had met in the coffee shop.

"Will, hello. I was wondering when I'd see you again. It was only when I got back here that I realised I had given you no way to contact me. I was very close to getting Tessa to pass on a message for me". Jem chuckled to himself as he put the book down and stood up. Will was startled when he was pulled into a quick hug, Jem releasing him before his brain had caught up enough to get him to respond.

"I hope you don't mind me stopping by like this. I tried to find you at school, but I couldn't see you anywhere".

"That would be because I do not go to school; Charlotte hires a tutor for me. Since my immune system does not work as well as it should do, it is not a good idea for me to be around large crowds of people in confined spaces."

"Oh, I'm"-

"The next word better not be sorry, I thought we understood each other better than that?" Jem gave him a mischievous smile as he audibly snapped his mouth shut again. "Anyway, come with me, I did say you should meet Tessa. Knowing her she is probably hidden up in the library".

Will stopped walking when Jem said that, his silver haired companion taking a couple of extra steps before he realised that Will was not following. "A library? Here?"

"Yes, it is in the attic", Jem replied as he turned to walk away again, seeming to expect Will to follow as he made his way to the library.

And once they made it, it took Will a couple of minutes to get over his shock. He could not believe the amount of books he was seeing. They covered three walls, floor to ceiling. There were even some stacked on tables and chairs, some beginning to form piles on the floor next to each bookcase. It was the fourth wall, covered completely by windows that gave the room its only light, casting a gentle glow on the large armchairs arranged in a circle in the centre of the room. The girl – Tessa- that Jem had been talking about was tucked into a corner of the window seat, a thick book masking the girl's face as she curled into herself, not noticing either of the boys who had just entered the room.

"You know", Jem said as he turned to Will with a teasing smile on his face. "I have often thought that I could bring a marching band up here and she would be none the wiser."

Will let out a small chuckle as he replied; "If I'm honest I get like that myself when I'm reading. If you don't, is it even well written?"

" Not you too!" Jem groaned with exasperation.

"What?"

"You will both gang up on me and force me to listen to your unending rambling about literature that I will know nothing about. I can sense it."

"Not a literature fan then?"

"Do not mistake me, I have nothing against literature, and there are some novels I am particularly fond of. I just do not have the passion that Tessa, and now evidently you, seems to have for it. I much prefer music".

"And do you play?"

"The violin, but not for a while". Will watched curiously as Jem shifted his gaze away from him, not however, quick enough to hide the unmistakable sadness that had entered his eyes.

"Do you mind if I ask why?"

"A story for another time, perhaps", Jem replied with a weak smile before turning to the still oblivious brunette and gently shaking her shoulder. It took everything Will had not to laugh at the way she practically jumped out of her seat. Instead, he looked on confused as Jem whispered something in her ear, his confusion only growing when Tessa gave him a look telling him she knew something he didn't. He wasn't entirely sure he liked that look.

"Hello Will, it is nice to meet you. Jem here tells me you're another literature fan".

Will gave the girl a genuine smile, surprised at how quickly she had accepted his presence, not even asking Jem why he was there. "It's alright I suppose", he replied with a nonchalant shrug.

"Favourite genre?"

"Mythology. Though I am partial to some classics as well."

"Favourite author?"

"You might as well ask me which hair on my head I prefer". He could see the corner of her mouth pull into a slight smile as she made her way to one of the arm chairs in the centre of the room, Jem settling himself into one next to her while Will took the one to the other side of him.

"You know, it's strange, we go to the same school but I never see you around, Will".

Will was shocked. They were now entering their seventh year at the school, and until today he had never seen Tessa around before. And all this time he thought that he knew most, if not all, the people in his year. He was, however, painfully pulled out of his thoughts by her next words.

"But I think you must be Alec's friend, he always tells me quite a bit about you and you seem to fit the description".

Well, Will was guessing that Alec obviously didn't tell her about what had happened between them. He couldn't have, if the surprise on her face when his body tensed was anything to go by, the regret in her soft gray eyes suggesting that he had not quite hidden the sadness he felt as well as he had hoped. This thought was only reinforced when he felt Jem grab one of his hands, comfort radiating from his silver eyes when Will turned to look at him.

"I-uh, yeah. Um, how do you know Alec?"

"We've been in the same English class since our GCSEs, and when we started our A-levels we both ended up in the same literature class. We always sat together so although it took several months, he started to talk to me. I think I can say we're friends, but it's sometimes difficult to get him to talk."

Will looked at her silently for a moment, shocked that despite all his worrying, Alec had been talking to other people, getting to know them quietly. He had never been more relieved in his life. Granted, he knew Alec was more than capable of looking after himself, but that doesn't mean that he liked the thought of him shutting himself off from everyone.

"Thank you", he finally said, noting the surprise and confusion that etched across Tessa's face.

"What for?"

"For not giving up on him the first time he was reluctant to talk to you. Alec can be quite closed off, but he has the most caring heart of anyone I've ever met. He might not let many people in, but once he does, he'll care about them deeply". He slumped in his seat as he hid his head in his hands. "I've really mucked up everything".

"Mucked up what?"

"Did Jem not tell you anything of what we talked about when we met?"

"Of course not", Will lifted his head up at the strength of Jem's words; his voice as soft as always but demonstrating a strong conviction. "It was not my story to tell. You trusted me; I do not give that away lightly".

"Long story short; I didn't trust him when I should have. Now I've treated both of my friends terribly and I have no idea as to how I will put it right. But the longer I leave it, the more lost I get. How could I expect them to forgive me if I wouldn't forgive myself if I were them?"

Tessa took a moment before she replied, her steady gaze never leaving his when she did. "Because Will, there are some friendships we are given in life that are meant to last. And if they are meant to do so, then they will. Of course we have to put the effort in; a relationship is a relationship no matter what form it takes. Jem and I argue all the time, if I think he isn't looking after himself properly or he thinks that I'm doing something dangerous. We fight, sometimes we say things we don't mean, but at the end of the day, everything is okay. Because he is my friend, and I know he cares. Just as he knows that I care. And sometimes, because we care, we act in ways that perhaps we should not. The only thing we can do is to learn from this and put it right when we can. Friendship takes effort Will, and it is never too late. You know, I've been wondering why Alec's been quieter than usual recently, why he seems more upset. I think you have every chance at setting this right, you just have to take it".

 _You just have to take it_. These words buzzed around his head for the rest of the afternoon, as their conversation strayed from his mistakes into getting to know each other better. Even when he learnt that Jem originally comes from Shanghai and that Tessa came from America. Even while he felt the blush build at his cheeks every time Jem smiled at him, even through the confusion he felt whenever Tessa gave Jem a pointed look that forced him to avoid eye contact with everyone. Even when Jem asked if he'd like to meet up again, remembering to give Will his number this time, in the back of his mind all he could hear were Tessa's words.

He had to do something. Before he lost them both for good.

* * *

 **A/N-** TawnyFire- thank you so much for your review, I'm sorry I couldn't get this up earlier. As an apology I give you some extra Will/Jem. Though no angst yet, it'll be back again in a few chapters.


	20. Chapter 20- Gingerbread

**A/N-** Hello everyone! Exams are over which means I can finally update. I am so sorry for disappearing for so long, but thanks for sticking with me.

 **Disclaimer-** Characters still belong to Cassandra Clare

* * *

Will was nervous as he walked up to the large white house that had been his second home throughout his childhood. It had been a week since his conversation with Jem and Tessa, and he had spent a lot of time figuring out what he was going to say to Alec. He had eventually come to the conclusion that Jem was right, he would have to tell him everything. It would hurt like hell, but it had to be done. And if it meant that he'd get his friend back, it would be worth it. So he took a deep breath, the small metal tin clenched tightly in one hand as he rang the doorbell. A small smile worked its way onto his face as he heard a voice he knew all too well asking Max 'how many times do I have to say don't run down the stairs?' But he only had a second to appreciate this before the heavy wooden door was thrown open and Alec was stood there, surprise etched into every inch of his face as his eyes widened and his mouth hung open a little.

"I, um"-

"Hello Alec". Will knew he sounded too cautious, that things were too awkward between them, but he knew he only had himself to blame. "If you're free, I was wondering if I could come in."

"Yeah, of course. You'll have to forgive the madness though; the decorations haven't gone up yet."

"Alec, it's Christmas Eve!"

"I know". Will was pleased with the small smile that Alec gave him as he locked the door. "Somehow we managed to get a bit delayed this year. Why don't you head off to my room and I'll tell Izzy that she's in charge for a while. Goodness knows what I'll come back to though".

Will heard Alec's chuckle as the latter turned to walk towards their spacious living room, Will instead climbing the staircase and heading towards Alec's bedroom. It wasn't long before Alec joined him; carrying two mugs of what Will knew would be hot chocolate. It was something they did every year, even when Jace had gone through a phase where he refused to consume anything with too much sugar in; they still managed to convince him to join in.

"Thanks", Will muttered as he accepted the mug Alec offered him, taking a tentative sip as the other boy sat down next to him, the awkward silence stretching between them as it became clear that neither knew what they should say to the other. Eventually it was Will who decided to break it, he had come here for a reason and nothing was going to sort itself out if he just sat there in silence.

"Here, I got you something", he said as he passed the small tin to Alec, watching as the other boy carefully lifted the lid off. It was because of this, that he saw the tears that Alec forced back down before he put a hand in the box and gently pulled the gingerbread man out. It was a tradition they had since they were young children; their mothers would get together and make gingerbread men, and the three of them (and Izzy when she was finally old enough) got to decorate them. None of them really knew how it happened, but it became a tradition to make a gingerbread man look like one of them, the decorations becoming increasingly complex as their artistic skills developed. Will put a lot of effort into this one; having spent 30 minutes mixing red and white food colouring until he had mixed the exact shade of Alec's characteristic blush. And don't even get him started on how long it took to mix the correct shade of blue for his eyes. But it had to be perfect, and if that meant spending an entire day with bowls full of food dye then that is what he would do.

"Thank you, Will". Alec's voice was soft as he placed the biscuit back into the tin.

"Alec, I am so sorry. There are no words for how sorry I am. I should have trusted you, listened to you. You're my best friend; I know you wouldn't do something like that to me. And I've been so cruel to you, and to Jace, I really hope you can forgive me".

"Will, it's"-

"You better not finish that with 'okay', because it just isn't. I was stupid, and childish, and I threw you away all because someone else hurt me before. I hurt you Alec, I can see it in your eyes so don't pretend I didn't. I owe you more than an apology, I owe you an explanation. And although this can never excuse how I behaved, I hope it helps you understand".

And with a steadying breath, his eyes never leaving Alec's gaze, he told his friend everything. About what happened after Ella died, about how he met Jessamine and fell in love, only to learn that she was using him. How hearing him talk to Magnus just brought it all back. He left no part out, but he never once saw the pity he expected to see in those clear blue eyes. The pity he had dreaded and which had kept him from telling Alec and Jace the truth a long time ago. Instead, Alec just pulled him into a strong hug, his arms wrapping around his friend's waist as they rocked from side to side a little.

"I love you Will, I hope you know that".

"I love you too, Alec", Will said as he discreetly wiped his eyes, pulling back a little to smile at his companion. "I don't suppose you can call my cousin over here? I think I have a little more grovelling to do and you _definitely_ have a lot of gossip to tell".

Will laughed at the confused look Alec gave him. "I do?"

"Yep", Will drawled as he picked up his almost forgotten hot (now cold) chocolate. "I do hear things you know".

* * *

Jace wasn't as calm as Alec was.

"I can't believe you didn't tell me this! Forget friend, I am your cousin!"

"Jace calm down would you? It's not"-

"I could have helped you", Jace cut in, the anger and sadness evident in his golden eyes. "I could have made sure that she knew you don't hurt my family like that".

"I know Jace, and I love you for it but I didn't want the fuss. It hurt too much and I just wanted to pretend it never happened".

Alec watched as Jace huffed out a humourless laugh. "Yes, because that worked so well didn't it?"

 _Ouch_ , Alec thought as he watched Will flinch; the little colour he had disappearing from his face. _That was below the belt Jace._

"Jace I"-

"Shit, Will I'm sorry that was low".

"You're right though. I ignored it and look what I did to the pair of you."

Jace got up from the desk chair he was sat in to embrace his cousin in a quick hug. "Well, what is done is done. Let's stop dwelling on it and at least try to have a slightly less gloomy Christmas Eve shall we?"

Will laughed gently. "I'm up for that, I think Alec forgot he was yet to tell us about his dashing new man".

Alec felt his eyes widen; he really had hoped that Jace would be able to distract Will for long enough that the other boy would forget what he had planned to ask him. It looked like he wasn't going to have such luck; especially given the mischievous smirk that Jace was sporting.

"Yes Isabelle informs me young Alec here has been sneaking out in the evenings."

"It's hardly sneaking if I walk out the front door is it?" Alec couldn't help the snarky reply; he never liked being questioned, it made him feel trapped. But he knew as he said the words, a split second before Jace and Will turned to each other with exited grins, that he had said the wrong thing. Jace hadn't believed his sister.

"YES OUR ALEC IS ALL GROWN UP".

"I am older than both of you".

"That doesn't matter Alec". Suddenly Jace fixed him with serious eyes, the intensity of the gaze making Alec want to look down. But he found that he couldn't, and his blue eyes remained locked with Jace's. "I don't know if you realised, but we worried about you Alec."

"I guessed. Sometimes when I insisted on not being dragged to another one of your parties you two would share this look. I don't know, it's hard to explain".

"Well we did, even more this year because we'll be split up for the first time when we go to university", Will added his eyes serious for a second before a playful smirk lit up his face. "But now it looks like we didn't need to worry after all. So spill."

"Spill what?" Alec knew this was only delaying the inevitable, but he really would prefer to keep his private life private. He didn't miss the cousins' identical eye roll before his golden eyed friend spoke up.

"You know; the evening adventures Izzy keeps telling us about. They're dates aren't they?"

Alec could feel the heat flooding to his face. "Yes", he conceded, knowing that these two were just as bad as his sister for dragging information out of unwilling informants.

"And how many have you gone on?"

"A few". He could see his friends share a mischievous grin and immediately knew what the next question would be.

"So have you two kissed yet?" _That's Will_ , Alec thought, _as direct as always_.

"I-um, well..." Alec broke himself off when his friends leapt off the bed in celebration, his stuttering and crimson blush all the answer the others needed.

"Well, as long as he treats you right", was Jace's only reply, his golden eyes serious as he scrutinised Alec's face for any hint of a lie.

"He's a perfect gentleman". And he was, Alec realised. He was always thinking about how Alec felt, careful not to push him too far. He knew Magnus wanted to hold his hand at school but he still respected his wishes and kept it quiet. Alec would always be grateful for that, but he knew he couldn't ask Magnus to hide forever. He would eventually have to tell people he was gay. But not now. Now he would enjoy having his best friend back.

"As lovely as this day of confessions has been", Will drawled as he turned on Alec's TV and pulled a DVD from the stack on the shelf, "I think we should do something related to Christmas so the day isn't all doom and gloom". It was as he said this that he placed the DVD in the DVD player and joined the other two on the bed.

It was a tradition, every Christmas Eve to get together and watch a Christmas film. They were supposed to pick a different film every year, but they never did. It was how the three managed to fall asleep half way through the film, exhausted from confronting emotions they had tried to ignore, curled up together with ELF playing in the background. As far as Alec was concerned, it was the best Christmas Eve he had had in a long time.

* * *

 **A/N** \- TawnyFire- thank you so much! I haven't given up just yet!


	21. Chapter 21- Hope and Strength

**A/N** \- Hello everyone! What's this? An update in less than a month? I hope you enjoy it, and thanks for reading.

 **Disclaimer-** Sadly I still don't own the characters- they belong to Cassandra Clare.

* * *

It was the day after Boxing Day, and Alec and Magnus had decided to meet at a small park about 30 minutes from their homes. It was cold enough outside that no one would willingly come and sit in a park full of freezing metal seats, the lack of snow meaning that even the young children could not be encouraged to come outside to play. That meant it was the perfect opportunity for Alec and Magnus to sit together at the top of the slide/climbing frame construction without anyone seeing them.

"So did you have a nice Christmas?" The two had just settled themselves on a blanket at the top of the structure when Magnus asked Alec. Alec couldn't fight the massive grin that worked its way onto his face as he thought back to the last few days; Will coming round on Christmas Eve, spending Christmas day with his family without his parents having to go to work, while on Boxing day continuing the tradition of meeting up with the Herondales and working through all the latest board games they had received. This year was Monopoly and it didn't take anyone long to remember why their first one had gotten 'lost'. Alec wasn't proud to admit that he wasn't a very good loser, but in his defence none of them were. It was probably why they always ended up fighting and Monopoly always went in the bin. He gave it a month until his parents banned it again.

"Great! You know, I got the best present this year."

"What?"

Alec could see the genuine curiosity in his eyes. This wasn't one of those instances of pretending to care just to be polite, and the fact warmed Alec's heart greatly. "Will came to see me".

Alec could see the surprise on Magnus' face before he replied. "Really! What did he say?"

"Everything. That he was sorry and why he reacted the way he did. Magnus", Alec could feel tears gathering in his eyes, "I have my best friend back". That was all he had time for before Magnus enveloped him in a tight hug, and when they pulled away he could see that even Magnus' eyes were shining just a little too brightly.

"I'm pleased for you Alec, I really am".

"But enough about me", Alec said as he settled down next to Magnus, leaning his head on the other's shoulder. "How was your Christmas?"

"Cosy. Mum made too much food, as always. You'd think by now she would have worked out how much food two people can realistically consume".

"What's your mum like? You've never really told me about her". Alec thought it was an innocent enough question; after all he had told Magnus about his family many times, and in great detail. Alec just couldn't believe that it took him this long to realise that he knew nothing about Magnus' family. _Maybe there was a reason for that_ , Alec thought to himself as he felt Magnus tense slightly next to him. Shifting a little to allow himself a look at the green eyed boy's face, Alec could see that he had lost some of his colour.

"Oh, Magnus I'm sorry, you really don't have to tell me if you don't want to".

"I know", Magnus gave him a weak smile, only meeting his eyes briefly. "It's why I want to. It's just not exactly easy, and I don't want to ruin the lovely Christmas you've had".

Alec shifted so he was sat directly in front of Magnus and slowly lifted his hands up so he was gently cradling his face. "Now you listen to me Magnus Bane". He spoke gently yet without room for argument, his encouraging blue eyes never leaving Magnus' anguished ones. "You could never, ever, ruin anything if you need to talk. I will listen. But only if you want to tell me, don't feel like you have to. But I hope you know you can trust me", he added softly wiping at the tear that had strayed down one of Magnus' cheeks.

"I do", Magnus replied gently, giving Alec's hands a small squeeze as he brought them down from his face, pulling Alec gently so he was sat next to him again. He took a deep breath as he steadied himself, releasing one of Alec's hands as he kept a tight hold on the other.

"Sophia isn't my biological mum. She adopted me when I was five after I had already spent two years in a foster home. I love her more than anything. She's incredible and has always done everything she can to support me. I told you she was fine when I told her I was bisexual, and she has never asked me to be anything I'm not. I don't really remember by biological parents, though that's probably a good thing. What I do know is from what I heard Sophia explaining to a man who wanted her to choose him over me. She had no idea I had gotten out of bed and was on the other side of the door".

Magnus paused here, and Alec didn't know what to say. Magnus seemed reluctant to continue and he didn't want to say anything that might pressurise Magnus into saying something he wanted to keep private. So he just gave his hand a slight squeeze, hoping that Magnus could take whatever he needed from that. It was silent for a few more minutes before Magnus decided to speak again, sill refusing to look Alec in the eyes as he stared at the hands clasped together in his lap.

"She was young when she had me", Alec noticed that Magnus deliberately avoided the word 'mum'. "17 I think Sophia told him. Apparently her parents weren't happy. They didn't like the man she was with; he was 19 at the time. They hated even more that I was born when they weren't married. So they threw her out of the house, cut her off from all the comforts she had grown up enjoying. He wasn't living with his parents either, and was getting minimal pay as a delivery man. So they lived together in a tiny apartment with little money and a baby to look after. It's not hard to realise why they didn't want me."

Alec heard the way Magnus stumbled over the last few words, the way his breath hitched. Even though Magnus had his head bowed he could see the tears that glided down his face. Shifting as close to him as he could he tried to give him all the comfort he had as Magnus started to speak again.

"Mum said I was really underweight when the authorities took me away. That if they had waited another couple of weeks I might have died. The apartment was a mess, and apparently they weren't much better either. Along the way they had gotten mixed up with some bad things, turned to drugs and alcohol. They were violent towards each other, though they must have forgotten I existed most of the time because I apparently only ever suffered a couple of fractures. It could have been worse I guess. But it hurts Alec."

Magnus finally looked into his eyes, his cat like eyes drowning in pain and desperation as he spoke again. "It hurts that I was never enough, not even for the people who are supposed to love you unconditionally. And then, when I got older and I fell in love and let them know me, they left as well. And I got to thinking, what is it about _me_ that means I can't be loved. That I'm not wanted? So I stopped letting people in, thinking that if I closed myself off it wouldn't hurt so much when they inevitably left. But it didn't work. I just felt cold and empty, and alone. My clothes and makeup just became an extravagant shell for a mass of emptiness. It didn't work, Alec".

His last sentence was uttered as a broken whisper as the tears poured more strongly down his face. Alec' didn't even think as he pulled the other teenager against his chest, rocking them slightly and letting him cry out his pain. Alec only pushed him away slightly when he believed that Magnus was in a composed enough state to hear what he was going to say.

"Do you really believe you're unlovable?" Alec watched sadly as Magnus nodded his head.

"That there is no one on this planet who could possibly love you?" Alec saw Magnus flinch as he nodded slowly.

"Well that's completely against what you told me at the start of the story. You told me your mum never asked you to change who you are. That's love. You told me she does everything she can to look after you. That's love. You told me she was asked to choose between you and another man, and well, you're still with her aren't you? That is love. Love for the little boy she **chose** and took in. Love for the man she knew you would become."

Alec paused as he gathered his thoughts, watching as he saw the tears slowly stop and some of the despair leave Magnus' eyes. He wasn't sure if he should say what else was on his mind; after all, they had only been together since the beginning of November. Surely a month and a half wasn't enough time to fall in love with someone? There had to be some sort of rule for how far into a relationship it was okay to say the 'L-word'. But then why should he care about what other people thought? This was him and Magnus, no one else. They may have only gone on a few dates, but they texted or called each other every day. And he missed Magnus when he wasn't with him. Missed his smile, the way he laughed and the way his eyes lit up whenever he saw him. He even missed Magnus' loud clothes and technical make up. He guessed that was a pretty good definition of love; missing someone when they're not with you. And although he was terrified that maybe Magnus might not love him back, right now he wasn't concerned about himself. He was concerned about the boy opposite him who had convinced himself he was unlovable. If some temporary mortification could convince him otherwise, then maybe Alec would be able to convince himself that it was worth it.

"And then... well, there's me too." Alec forced himself to look Magnus in the eyes as he said this, so he didn't miss the way his eyes widened a little, how his mouth opened and closed a couple of times before he found the words which had escaped him.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that I think I might be in love with you". Alec held his breath as he waited for any reaction from Magnus. When it became clear that the other was frozen in shock, Alec ploughed on as his embarrassment slowly increased. "But it's okay if you don't feel the same, I just thought that you should know. Though, if you don't mind me asking, why did you decide to tell me this if you wanted to keep people out?"

Alec watched as Magnus shifted to face him, slowly grabbing hold of both his hands again. "Because I told you it wasn't working. I came here to be different, I promised myself I would. It's why I couldn't date Will. I could see myself in him, and I knew then that our relationship would be as superficial as my previous ones had been. But from the beginning you were different; you were open and honest, and you trusted me when you had no reason to. And eventually, I don't really know when, maybe it was under the willow tree when you told me about your father, I learned to trust you back. And after I learned to trust you, it didn't take long to fall. Because if I'm honest with you Alec, I think I love you too".

There was a still, calm silence after Magnus' confession, both teenagers smiling as they stared at each other in disbelief, their hands held tightly as if they were tethering each other to the earth. Slowly Magnus started to lean in, but it was then that Alec remembered the little gift in his pocket.

"Oh", he exclaimed pulling away abruptly and ignoring the frustrated huff Magnus let out as he searched in the deep pocket of his practical black coat and pulled out a small, colourfully wrapped box. "It reminded me of you", he explained as Magnus raised a questioning eyebrow at the rainbow coloured wrapping paper.

As he handed the gift over, Alec was struck with the sudden fear that Magnus would hate it. "It's, um nothing big", Alec said clearing his throat a little. "I just wanted to get you something".

Magnus gave him a small, genuine smile in return as he held the delicate parcel in his hands. "If it's from you Alec I'll love it."

"You say that now", Alec muttered as Magnus carefully peeled the wrapping paper away from the small box and took the lid off. Inside, nestled on deep purple velvet sat a silver necklace, the design being a simple rainbow. Alec thought Magnus might find it a bit cheesy, but he hoped the other teenager would understand once he explained it a bit more.

"You've brought so much colour into my life Magnus. You brought a happiness I thought I would never have, an energy I seemed to be missing. But most importantly you brought hope. Hope that I wouldn't be alone. So this is why I chose a rainbow. I wanted you to be able to look at it and see the hope your colour brought me so that maybe, if you ever feel sad or alone, or doubt yourself you could look at it and see hope. Hope that, like me, you wouldn't be alone".

" _Freedom was splashes of colour"_ , was all Magnus said as he carefully took the necklace out of the box and put it on, looking at Alec with a gentle smile.

Alec felt his mouth drop open. "You remember the poem I wrote you?"

"Of course I do, you wrote it for me", Magnus shrugged as if it wasn't the sweetest thing anyone had ever said to Alec before. "And I love the necklace; it most certainly isn't cheesy". He paused as he dug something out of his tartan coat pocket. "I got you something too, by the way".

Alec smiled at Magnus as a small box wrapped in dark blue wrapping paper was placed in his hands. He wasn't quite as careful as Magnus was when he ripped off the wrapping paper and opened the box inside. He wasn't always the most patient person and growing up with younger siblings meant that if he didn't open his presents fast someone would be doing it for him. He felt his breath catch in his throat when he saw what was waiting for him.

Inside the box sat a necklace, silver like the one he gave Magnus. But instead of holding a rainbow, it was decorated with two hands joined together, reaching out to each other. It was beautiful. He was so entranced with it that he almost missed Magnus' explanation.

"You inspire me Alec, you really do. You may not believe me, but you're so brave. It took courage for you to tell me you were gay. It took courage for you to agree to go on a date with me, even though you were terrified of people finding out about us. In fact, you show courage every time you decide to come out with me. You told me in the poem you gave me that I set you free, but you did the same for me. You've helped me as much as I helped you; that's what the hands mean. That you are not alone, that you have the strength and courage to help others. And when the time comes and you decide to tell people about us, though please don't think I'm pushing you to do so I can wait as long as you need me to, I want you to think of this necklace and know that I believe you have the courage in you to do it. And I want you to remember that you will have me by your side."

Alec didn't know what to say in response to Magnus' explanation so he put the necklace on and said the only thing that was fitting.

"I love you, Magnus".

"I love you too."

And this time, when Magnus leant in for a kiss he didn't pull away. His body moved forwards without being told to, one of his hands wrapping around Magnus' waist as another buried itself in his hair. Alec didn't know if it was his imagination, or whether it was a product of how emotionally vulnerable they had made themselves today, but the kiss felt different to the other times they had kissed in the car when they thought no one could see. This time it felt like Alec was weightless. Every taste of Magnus' cherry lip gloss, every move of their lips and swipe of Magnus' tongue made Alec feel as if nothing could bother him. That all that existed in the world was Magnus and how happy he made him. Alec promised himself then, as Magnus kissed him slowly and softly, that he would tell his parents.

He wouldn't hide anymore.


	22. Chapter 22- Now or Never

**A/N-** Hello everyone! I hope you enjoy this week's update.

 **Disclaimer-** All characters belong to Cassandra Clare.

* * *

Alec was the happiest he could remember being when he got back home that evening. He could feel the smile pulling at his lips as he took his coat off and hung it on the hook by the front door. He knew he should be more careful, that if either of his parents saw it they would ask questions; but in that moment, with the knowledge that Magnus loved him he just didn't care. It took him a while to fully notice his father's small suitcase by the front door.

"Hey Mum," he called as he took his shoes off and made his way into the living room. "Is Dad going somewhere?" It took a minute or two before he saw his mum come down the stairs, still dressed in the only pair of leggings she owned and a large jumper Alec and Izzy had bought her when they were young and had no idea what her size was. At least one of his parents was still in Christmas mode, though he knew that by tomorrow the elegant tops and smart trousers would be brought out again.

"His work scheduled two meetings for tomorrow up in Nottingham so your father has decided to leave now so he doesn't have to worry about traffic and parking tomorrow morning".

"When's he coming back?"

"Tomorrow evening. Both meetings should be done by 3 so hopefully he'll be able to miss most of the traffic".

So he'd be gone less than 24 hours. Alec's mind started turning. He knew he wanted to tell his parents he was gay, but he wasn't sure he was ready to. After all, it had only been less than 3 hours since he promised himself he would, it wasn't exactly enough time to prepare yourself. Yet Alec's father didn't often spend time away for work and Alec knew the opportunity wouldn't come around again soon. Really it was the perfect time to tell them. He thought his mum might be more okay with it. His dad probably not so much, but then if he had to go to work he could have some time to calm down and think about it. Plus Alec wouldn't have to actually see the disappointment if his father wasn't here.

But on the other hand, Alec wasn't entirely sure he was ready to reveal his biggest secret. He just knew that his father wouldn't be happy and he didn't want to ruin everyone's Christmas. He didn't want to ruin Christmas full stop. If this is when his relationship with his father goes downhill he doesn't want to associate it with one of his favourite times of the year. With the day Magnus said he loved him.

He had just settled on waiting a few more weeks when he happened to glance down at his hands. In doing so he noticed the necklace Magnus had given him; a symbol of courage and support. He wouldn't be alone if he told them, and not doing so is just delaying the inevitable. His dad won't be any happier if he waits a few weeks.

"Mum", Alec's mouth started working before his brain had fully caught up. He could hear his voice as if he was miles away. It sounded as small and as scared as he felt, and he was sure that his mum picked up on it as she got out of the arm chair she had sat in and placed herself next to him on the sofa.

"Yes Darling?"

"Can, I talk to you both before he goes?" Well it looked like he was doing it now then. He could already feel his hands shaking slightly, his heartbeat rising; but he was determined to stay calm through this. He was determined to show the strength that Magnus believed he had.

"Of course", she replied as she gracefully got up and went back upstairs, presumably to where his dad was getting together the last few things he would need for his short trip.

Now that he was alone, he was scared that he would try to talk himself back out of it. In fact, he could feel his courage disappearing. He got up and went to the kitchen to pour a glass of water, hoping that the task would distract him from his thoughts. And if not, well it was better than sitting around and doing nothing. Indeed, by the time he had drunk his drink and made his way back to the living room he saw both of his parents sat on the sofa watching him expectantly.

"Well what did you want to tell us, Alec?" Alec was glad it was his mother taking the lead in the conversation.

"It's, um. I – ehm." Alec could feel his throat constricting, his panic rising as he looked between his parents. His father clearly had no idea what was going on and looked mildly irritated at being kept waiting when he had to go. His mother, on the other hand, had a strange look in her eyes. It was almost as if she was encouraging him, saying _I know, but I need you to tell me_. But she can't know. She **can't**. He had been so careful, for so long. But the more he looked at her, the more the look intensified, a small smile eventually joining. So he forced the two words out, no matter how difficult it would be for him.

"I'm gay".

There was a moment's silence where Alec didn't know where to look or what to do, finding himself clenching the necklace he had as if it would protect him from anything his parents threw at him. He heard a sharp intake of breath but he didn't really know who it came from. He was so caught up in trying to figure it out that he hadn't heard his mother approach him. The only way he knew she had gotten up was when she pulled him into a tight hug, one of her hands running through his hair like she did when he was young and needed comfort.

"I'm proud of you", she whispered in his ear before pulling away slightly, gently caressing his cheek as she smiled at him.

He gave his mum a small smile in reply before he looked over to his silent father. As far as Alec could tell, he hadn't moved a millimetre. Nothing had changed, except the horrified look in his eyes that Alec wasn't sure whether his father was bothering to try and hide. It was that look, more than anything else that he could have possibly have said, that hurt Alec the most. He knew his father wouldn't be okay with it, but knowing and seeing are two separate things and there's no way Alec could have prepared himself for this. For his own father looking at him with horror as if he was a monster.

"Robert". His mother's firm voice seemed to snap his father out of his trance, the horror in his eyes being masked by a fake look of neutrality as he got off the sofa and into the coat he had laid next to him.

"Why are you telling us this", was the only thing his father asked him, his tone indifferent and void of any emotion. Alec couldn't look at him, so he addressed his mother instead.

"Because I have a boyfriend. I thought it would be a good time to tell you".

"I see", was Robert's only reply as he walked too quickly towards the front door, shouting a hasty "I'll see you tomorrow" as it closed too loudly. It was only then that Alec allowed the tears he had been holding to fall.

"Don't cry Alec", his mother said as she hugged him again. "Not for his outdated views. Your dad loves you and if he's still the man I married he'll remember that".

"But did you see the way he looked at me Mum? He was horrified. It was like I was a monster".

Alec was forced to look into his mother's eyes as she framed his face with her slender hands. "Now you listen to me. You are the furthest thing from a monster it is possible to get. You were my sweet, lovely baby boy who always ran to meet me at the door, little chubby hands reaching for me the second I came in. Then you were my curious little boy, fiercely protective of his little sister. You were my awkward teenager, shy and quiet but observant and intelligent. And now you are my young man. You are brave and loyal, and I love you. Okay?"

"Okay", Alec smiled. "You didn't seem surprised when I told you."

Alec laughed a little as his mum rolled her eyes. "I am your mother, Alec. But you hid it well; I wasn't sure for a couple of years. Now who's this boyfriend you were telling us about?"

Alec fought hard to keep the blush off his face, but it didn't work. "His name is Magnus. He's new to the school".

Alec stopped talking when his mum started laughing, giving her a confused look. "So Magnus is the 'girl' your father said was the reason Will wasn't talking to you?"

"Uh, yeah", Alec replied bashfully. "He kinda jumped to conclusions and I just didn't correct him".

"Honestly", Maryse said, still chuckling. "Sometimes I think he deliberately forgets Will is bisexual".

"Well, he can't exactly forget I'm gay can he?" He watched as his comment immediately sobered his mum up.

"It will be okay Alec, you'll see. Yes your father has rather strong opinions, but he loves you. Don't underestimate him. It'll work out".

Alec snorted. "You sound like everyone else telling me about Will".

"And they were right weren't they?"

"I suppose", Alec begrudgingly conceded.

"That's the spirit. I suppose I better let you go and phone this Magnus. Why don't you ask him if he wants to come round for dinner in a couple of days?"

Alec blinked back his surprise. "But what if dad isn't okay with it?"

His mum didn't even bat an eyelid. "He can be civil or go and get his own dinner elsewhere." His mother came over and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. "Now go and ring him".

Alec smiled to himself a little as he made his way up the stairs and collapsed onto his bed. It hadn't gone as badly as he thought it would. His mother was completely fine with it. His dad on the other hand? Well, Alec knew he wouldn't be pleased. But he hadn't insulted him or anything. So maybe, just maybe there was hope that everything would be okay.


	23. Chapter 23- Robert

**A/N-** Hi everyone, sorry for missing last week. However it will be weekly updates from now on. A warning about this chapter- from the beginning it does look at homophobic thoughts/actions. If i'm honest I've been a bit apprehensive about this chapter so any feedback would be appreciated. Anyway I hope you like this chapter but please have a look at the A/N at the bottom!

 **Disclaimer-** Characters still belong to Cassandra Clare.

* * *

Robert wasn't sure how he didn't crash the car. The journey from his house to the hotel in Nottingham was a blur, his mind fixed on what Alec had told him before he left the house. His son was...gay. He was dating a man. Robert was finding it very difficult to ignore the large part of his brain telling him it was wrong. That it wasn't natural. He sighed as he sat down at the hotel bar and ordered a double whisky, taking a long sip as he pulled out his phone to let his wife know that he had arrived. She didn't reply, but Robert wasn't surprised. The way she had said his name back at the house had been a clear warning, he had to tread carefully.

He knew two things to be true at that moment. One, he loved his son. Two, being gay was wrong. He wasn't entirely sure how the two could co-exist without him being a hypocrite. No one had told him the first truth. He didn't have to be taught, it was something that just existed. From the first second he held him in his arms, to all the times he comforted him when he was upset or had hurt himself there existed a deep love for his child, blinding white with the way it stunned him the first time he felt it. But the truth that being gay was wrong was not something he innately knew, it was something he was told. So he thought back to all the times he had been told it was wrong.

The first time was when he was young, about 14. He had gone out for lunch with his parents while they were on holiday and two men were sat at the table next to them. They never even held hands, but you knew how they felt from the way they looked at each other. Robert remembered that they looked so happy just being together that at the time he hoped that one day he could find someone to love as much as that. But then his parents started talking to each other, loud enough that the two men must have heard. Saying that it was 'disgusting' and 'unnatural', that the restaurant was a 'family establishment' and such behaviour clearly wasn't suitable for young children to see. Robert was confused; the men weren't doing anything wrong; they weren't hurting anyone. How could they be bad? He wanted to question his parents, but they were his parents. They were supposed to know better than he did. So he kept quiet and believed them when they said it wasn't right.

The second time was when he was 17 and he was at college with his friends. They were a group of 6 in total and had just stumbled across two of their classmates holding hands, one (believing that they were alone) kissing the other on the cheek briefly. It didn't take long before his friends started shouting abuse at them, backing them into a corner so they wouldn't have anywhere to go. This time, Robert stayed at the back of the group. Part of him was uneasy at what was happening. Again, these were two innocent people who were just minding their own business, no one would have thought anything of it had it been a girl and a boy. There'd probably just be some teasing, but nothing more. No insults, no threats. But although Robert felt a little uneasy, it wasn't as bad as three years ago when he was out with his parents. Because now he knew that people did believe it was wrong, and if those people included his parents and his friends then surely they couldn't be completely wrong. So again, Robert kept quiet. Not joining in the torment, but also not stopping it.

But it wasn't long before he did start to join in. Yelling insults at people for no reason, trashing their locker or harassing them in the hallways. The teachers never did anything to stop them, never put them in detention, so a part of Robert took that as validation. As confirmation that what he was doing was right. And if it was right, then they had to be wrong. The two boys transferred to a different college after a couple of months, and if there were any other same sex couples at school, no one ever saw them. Years later, looking back on his behaviour, Robert came to regret his actions. When he had children of his own and watched them grow up, his biggest fear was that they would be bullied at school; that they wouldn't fit in. And he had inflicted this fear on people all because he didn't want to lose his friends. He wanted to fit in. Yet although he came to regret his actions, he never came to regret his thoughts. Never forced himself to question whether he was really right.

By the time he became an adult, the part of him that had always questioned whether same sex couples really were wrong had disappeared. Either that or Robert had become so good at ignoring it that he no longer questioned other people. He accepted the people who told him it was wrong. And so, in time, his views remaining unchallenged he passed the same message onto his children. And just as he had never challenged his parents, they never challenged him.

But now, now he didn't know what to think. Because this was Alec; his sweet, kind, quiet boy. Of course he wasn't perfect; sometimes he argued back too much, sometimes he teased his little sister too much. But he wasn't _bad_. He wasn't _wrong_. And if he wasn't bad or wrong, then maybe the people at the restaurant or the kids at school weren't bad or wrong either. But if they weren't bad or wrong why did no one ever tell him that what he thought, what he said was wrong? Why did his parents tell him they were wrong? Why didn't the teachers punish him for what he had done? When he grew older and started using the word 'gay' as an insult to his work colleagues, why did they all laugh, not one of them stopping to tell him that it was wrong. That that was hurtful?

But if Alec was gay, and Alec was neither bad, nor wrong, nor disgusting, then Robert had to be wrong. But he wasn't sure he wanted to accept that. He wasn't sure he wanted to confront a lifetime of cruel thoughts and demeaning words. But he knew he had to. An image of his wife's face as she said his name earlier, of the fear he saw in Alec's eyes when he was telling them arose from the back of his mind. He would lose them if he didn't at least try. He knew that much. He just had to decide whether his family was more important than his beliefs. Yet if family is an innate concept, a love that cannot be taught, and beliefs are learnt, then surely there should be no contest?

The question plagued Robert throughout the next day. Focusing on his meetings became difficult, but also a good way to clear his mind. He didn't want to lose his family, he knew that much. He just wasn't entirely sure how he was supposed to change the way he thought. Maybe he wouldn't be able to. Maybe a part of him would always think it would be wrong. But he could change the way he acted. He could stop using 'gay' as an insult, he could stop telling his children that being gay was wrong and he could make sure he didn't harass people he didn't know. And maybe with that, his attitudes might, with time, change. If behaviour can be learned, then surely it could (at least to some extent) be corrected.

He didn't know how much he could change, but he promised himself as he got into the car and started the engine for the journey home that he would try.

* * *

"Hey Magnus", Alec said gently as he settled himself on the sofa, holding his phone in his right hand.

"Hey yourself. What's wrong, you sound upset?"

And there Alec was thinking he managed to hide it well. "I came out to my parents yesterday."

"Really! I'm proud of you Alec; I knew you could do it. It didn't go so well then?"

"Mum was fine; she said she was proud of me. Apparently she'd figured it out anyway. As for my dad...well I knew he wouldn't be happy. But the look in his eyes Magnus, it hurt".

"I'm sorry Alec, I really am. I'm glad you're mum's okay though. Maybe your dad just needs some time?"

Alec couldn't help the snort he let out. "That man's been homophobic for as long as I can remember, I don't think any amount of time would work. I only told them yesterday because today was a rare occurrence where my dad had to travel for work and I knew he would have time to calm down. Anyway, my mum wants you to come to dinner this week."

There was a minute's silence as Magnus digested what Alec said. "Are you sure that's a good idea? What about your dad?"

Alec felt a small smile tugging at his lips. "In the words of my mother he can either be civil or eat somewhere else". He loved the laugh Magnus responded with, so loud and carefree.

"Gosh your mother does not sound like someone I want to upset. Okay I'll be there".

"Great I'll let you know when". Just then he heard his front door open and banging around which suggested his father had just dumped his shoes by the door mat. "I better go", he sighed. "My dad just got back".

"Okay Alec. Good luck, but I'm sure you'll be okay."

"I hope so".

"I love you Alec". And once again, those four words lit up Alec's world, washed away his worries and fears and made him believe, even if just for a second, that everything really would be okay. In fact, he was so caught up in his feelings that he didn't hear his father enter the living room.

"I love you too".

Alec had only just hung up the phone when his father asked, his voice completely devoid of emotion, "who was that?"

Alec tensed, and kept his gaze averted from his father when he replied; "my boyfriend".

There were several minutes of awkward silence. Not the type you might come to laugh off, but the excruciatingly painful silence of two strangers not knowing how to talk to each other. It made Alec want to cry, his father shouldn't be a stranger.

"Alec", his father finally said, his voice strained. "We need to talk".

Alec just nodded his head, refusing to look at him even when his father sat down next to him. His father was still incredibly awkward, as if he wasn't sure what he should be doing.

"I'm sorry Alec".

"For what?"

"The way I reacted yesterday, it was not kind".

"It could have been worse", Alec answered with a slight shrug, eyes still averted.

"But it could have been better". He paused for a moment. "Alec, will you look at me please?" His father did not speak again, and Alec knew that he wouldn't unless he did as he was asked. So he begrudgingly brought his eyes up to his father's. They weren't exactly warm, but at least they weren't as cold and horrified as they were last night. That was some progress at least.

"I just want you to know that I love you Alec, I always will. I won't sit here and pretend that I'm okay with you being, you know, gay. But I promise you I will try. I will keep my words to myself. I won't be cruel or make jokes anymore."

 _Wait, anymore?_ "Anymore? Dad what do you mean?" Alec looked at his father slightly horrified at the guilt and shame that were swimming in his eyes. "What did you do?"

"Some things I am not proud of. Things I should never have done. But what I'm trying to say is that... I can't promise I will ever be okay with it, and I'm sorry for that. But I can promise I will always love you."

"You just happen to think I'm wrong, and sick and"-

"No Alec. You aren't. This is going to sound so hypocritical of me. You aren't any of those things; you have many admirable qualities about you. I just think what you've chosen is wrong".

"It's not a choice Dad, it's who I am." Alec was torn between being upset and angry. But he could see his father pale slightly when he realised he had said the wrong thing again.

"I just... I'm just trying to say that I'll try. Okay? And that I love you."

Alec studied his father carefully. He still looked uncomfortable, but that might have been caused by the prolonged personal discussion. Neither of them were very good with sharing their feelings. It still hurt to know that his dad might never be okay with who he is, but at least he was willing to try. That had to count for something. And maybe over time, the awkwardness would disappear. It was, at the very least, more than he had expected from his father. And it was something he was not going to throw away.

"I love you too, Dad." His father was only a little awkward when he went to hug him, but the tension soon left him as he hugged his son back. "So, is two days long enough to prepare yourself?"

"For what?" His father looked at him confused.

"Mum may have invited my boyfriend for dinner". Alec decided to ignore the slight uneasiness that flickered over his father's face. "His name is Magnus".

"Okay". With that word his father pulled himself off the sofa and upstairs, presumably to talk to his mother about dinner. As he sat there, Alec couldn't help but contemplate the last 24 hours. It had given him more than he had hoped for. Was he happy with his father's reaction? Not completely. Is it okay, that he still thinks that way? No. But as long as he really does change the way he acts, Alec thinks he might be able to live with that.

Maybe he should really listen to people more when they tell him things will be okay.

* * *

 **A/N-** Thanks for reading! I just wanted to clarify: this in no way looks to justify/condone any form of bullying or homophobic behaviour. That sort of behaviour is simply inexcusable.


	24. Chapter 24- Dinner

**A/N-** Hi everyone! Here's the next chapter- it's time to see if Robert can put a promise into practice.

 **Disclaimer-** Characters belong to Cassandra Clare.

* * *

"Relax, it'll be fine", Alec told himself for the thousandth time as he stared at his reflection in the mirror. He could still see the underlying fear in his eyes and asked himself – not for the first time – whether this dinner was actually a good idea. The sound of the door bell ringing dragged Alec out of his worrying; even if it was a bad idea, it looked like it was too late to stop it now.

It took less than a minute for Alec to get out of his room and run down the stairs, yet no matter how quick he was his mother was faster, getting to the door and giving him a playful smirk while he was only half way down.

"You must be Magnus", he heard his mother say warmly as she pulled the door open.

"That would be me", he heard Magnus say. From his position on the stairs he couldn't see his boyfriend, but he could hear his nervousness as he spoke. "You look lovely Ma'am."

"Oh thank you dear. But just call me Maryse". Even Alec could see his mother blushing at the compliment, but he was inclined to agree with Magnus. His mother wore navy blue trousers that folded up slightly at the ankle with a white blouse decorated with blue and yellow flowers. He knew he wasn't very fashionable, but even he could see it suited his mother very well. "Please come on in, but shoes by the door if you don't mind".

"Oh yes", Alec said with a smile as he descended the last few steps. "Heaven forbid you get mud on Mum's carpet. She may just become your enemy for the rest of your life".

"You laugh Alexander", his mother replied in a curt voice as Magnus placed his Dr Martens (white with multicoloured paint splatter) by the front door. "But it has been two years and I still haven't been able to remove the stain from the hot chocolate you spilled".

"Now Magnus", his mother addressed the other teen, turning from stern to welcoming in a split second. "Would you like a drink? I'm afraid Robert has been a bit delayed at work so dinner will be a bit later than I planned, but I thought Alec could just show you around for a while."

"Oh, no thank you. I'll be fine".

"Off you go; I'll call you back down when dinner's ready". Just like that they were dismissed, and Alec was left to show his boyfriend around his house.

"I forgot to say hi earlier", Alec said quietly while the two of them stood slightly awkwardly in the hallway.

"Hello to you too", Magnus replied with a smile in his voice.

"I know my mother said to show you around, but it's just a house so, um, do you just want to come to my room?"

"Why Alec, whatever are you suggesting? Your mother is in the building after all", Magnus declared in a mock-scandalised voice. It was enough to make Alec blush and stutter though.

"I didn't mean it like that, and you know it. I just wanted to know if you wanted to talk or watch a film or something. Not ...that". Alec waved his hand around with the last word as if he couldn't quite bring himself to say what he meant.

"I know what you meant darling, now lead the way".

The two were silent as they made their way to Alec's bedroom, Magnus pausing every now and again to smile at the photos decorating the wall. Alec was not amused- there were some seriously embarrassing photos placed up there.

"Well this is it", Alec said as he pushed the door open and let Magnus enter before him.

"Damn, you really are good at archery aren't you", was the only thing Magnus said. It was only then that Alec remembered the trophies sitting on the bookshelf. Never being one to brag, it made him slightly uncomfortable that Magnus was seeing them.

"I guess", Alec muttered as he sat on the edge of the bed, Magnus joining him only a second later and gently holding his hand.

"How are you doing Alec? I'm really proud of you for telling your parents; I told you that you were braver than you thought." Alec could hear the pride in Magnus' voice and smiled a little as his boyfriend placed a small kiss on his shoulder before resting his head there.

Alec thought for a moment. How _was_ he doing? He wasn't really sure.

"I don't really know how I feel Magnus. Part of me is happy that my mum accepted me so easily and part of me is relieved that everything's out in the open and my father didn't react as badly as I thought he would. I'm glad that he still loves me, and I love him too, but I'm still hurt. Hurt that he isn't really okay with who I am, and I'm hurt that he has to try to accept me. Why should he have to try? Why can't I just bring you home one day and have them be okay with it? And part of me feels bad that I'm hurt because he really is trying and he wasn't really horrible to me and I feel like I have no right to be upset at all".

"You have every right to feel whatever you want to feel, Alec", Magnus spoke gently as he ran his thumb over the back of Alec's hand. "There is no right or wrong way of feeling. Is it good that he's trying? Of course it is; there are some parents who wouldn't even bother with trying. But it does also hurt that he has to put the effort in. It's okay to feel that, Alec."

"I suppose you're right", Alec conceded.

"I'm always right darling, there's no 'suppose' about it".

Alec chuckled a little as he guided Magnus so they were both sat side by side against the bed's headboard, their hands still clasped between them. It was silent for a while as the two teenagers sat next to each other, taking comfort in the fact that the other was there. It was in those moments that Alec realised that perhaps they spent a bit too much time talking about him and his problems.

"We shouldn't just talk about me though. How's your mum doing?" The huge grin that lit up Magnus' face was enough to make Alec glad that he had asked.

"Great! You know I told you she works at the supermarket? Well she's decided to start taking some night classes in accounting. She's always wanted to but she never really had the time and we never really had the money, especially since she didn't want me to get a part time job. But since there's not much time left until we go to university I decided to get one anyway so I could save up a bit more money before I leave. It just meant that she doesn't have to worry about the increased expenditure too much".

Alec was shocked when his boyfriend told him this; he had never mentioned that he was thinking of getting a job. It really made Alec question whether he had spent too much time thinking about his own problems rather than asking Magnus about himself. Between his worries about not telling anyone he was gay, his concern about losing Will and finding the courage to come out to his parents, Alec was ashamed to admit that he couldn't really remember (except from the other day at the park) when he had specifically asked Magnus about his life. He resolved that after today he would really make sure he asked Magnus more about himself.

"Where are you working?"

Magnus chuckled a little as he answered. "At a coffee shop. The funny thing is that it's where Will and I used to go to. And boy do I have some gossip for you."

 _Wait, he's already started? Well aren't I just the worst boyfriend._ "Magnus, I'm really sorry."

Magnus blinked at his boyfriend in surprise, confusion clouding his eyes. "What for?"

"For not asking about you more; for always going on about my own troubles. I mean, what boyfriend doesn't even know his boyfriend got a job?"

"Alec it's okay, you have had quite a bit to worry about."

"No it really isn't, but I'll do better. I promise. Now", Alec continued in an attempt to lighten the mood, "what's this gossip you were going to tell me?" Alec watched bemused as Magnus began to smirk, barely managing to contain his excitement.

"Well it looks like dear William"-

"Alec your father's home", his mother called up the stairs. _Could her timing be any worse,_ Alec thought to himself as he looked wide eyed at Magnus; the fear that he had pushed down and was ignoring resurfacing with a vengeance.

"Don't look like that Alec, you did the difficult part. Today will be fine".

Alec tried to force a smile. "See what I mean? We never really stay on what you want to tell me for very long."

"If it makes you feel better, tomorrow I'll drag you to my house and all you'll get to do is listen to me ramble".

"Deal", Alec smiled.

"You are such a dork", Magnus laughed as he pulled his boyfriend off the bed and all but pushed him out of the door. It just so happened to be at the same time that Izzy was leaving her room.

"Evening boys", she drawled. "And just what were you two up to _all alone_ in there?" If it was possible to die from blushing too much, Alec feared he was going to combust on the spot. Especially when she gave Magnus a lewd wink and a cheeky smile.

"Nothing", he all but hissed at his sister as Magnus started laughing. "And don't you dare say anything like that in front of dad. Tonight's going to be awkward enough as it is".

Something of his concern must have shown on his face because his sister sobered up immediately and pulled him into a tight hug. "You know I wouldn't do that Alec".

"I know", Alec sighed exasperated, "I just feel like something's going to go wrong. I mean, I know dad said he'd try, but I just know he's going to put his foot in it somehow."

"What, like with your boyfriend's makeup?" Alec knew Izzy was just joking, but he also knew there was a possibility that his father might not react particularly well to it. As far as he was aware, his father had never actually met a man wearing makeup before.

 _Well, there's a first for everything._

"Oh crap, should I not have worn any? Oh, Alec I'm"-

"Don't you dare apologise Magnus. I love you the way you are. I love your makeup and your bright clothes, and your shoes that most definitely are not practical." He paused and raised an eyebrow at Magnus, waiting until he laughed and the horrified look on his face disappeared before he continued. "You are not my Magnus without them, and that is who my father wants to meet. So he'll just have to accept you with the makeup, or not at all. Okay?"

"Okay".

"Good", Alec smiled a little before he turned towards the stairs, his smile slipping and his shoulders straightening. He took a deep breath before he steadily went down the stairs, not checking to see whether Magnus and Izzy were following him or not. He was almost by the dining room when he started to hear his little brother excitedly telling their dad all about the plane he made from old egg cartons and other bits of cardboard at his friend Julian's house. That conversation stopped as soon as he stepped in the room.

"Alec!" Alec didn't have a chance to prepare himself before Max had wrapped himself around his legs. "Do you like my plane?"

"It's great buddy! But maybe you should go and put it in your room so it doesn't get broken?" Honestly, Alec just wanted to introduce Magnus to his dad without having to worry about explaining things to Max as well. He could deal with that later.

"Good idea", his brother nodded along as he dashed out the room, pausing only to give Magnus a confused look as he passed him in the doorway. It was only then that Alec finally turned to his father.

"Dad".

"Alec", his father replied as he got out of the arm chair and gave him a hug. Alec was glad to see that his father didn't hug him any differently than he normally did, but he may have been looking at him a bit too long. Almost as if he was trying to figure him out. Admittedly, that may also have been his imagination but he wasn't too sure.

"So", he said as he stepped away, "this is Magnus. Magnus, this is my Dad". He watched as Magnus came closer, a nervous smile on his lips as he stood next to Alec and held his hand out towards Robert.

"It's nice to meet you, Sir". Alec could tell Magnus was nervous and he felt his heart swell for the sweet man stood next to him. He was really going to have to take him out somewhere nice once this was all over.

"Likewise Magnus", his father replied as he shook his boyfriend's hand. Alec did notice that unlike his mother he did not ask Magnus to call him by his first name. He really hoped that wasn't a sign for worse things to come; as it was he could already see his father staring at Magnus' makeup while his sister giggled in the background.

"Is dinner ready yet, Mum?" Alec turned to his mother hoping she could do something to cut through the awkward silence that was descending on them.

"Oh yes", she replied quickly. "Why don't you all go sit yourselves at the table and Alec and I can bring everything out?"

It only took a couple of minutes for everyone to get seated at the table and all the food to be brought out. Alec was quite relieved to hear that Max had already eaten at Julian's so was going to just spend the night playing upstairs. He'd use another day to explain his relationship with Magnus to him. That relief, however, was short lived once he brought the last two plates through. He wasn't sure how it happened, but he was mildly horrified to learn that his father had somehow managed to sit himself right next to his boyfriend. And from the looks that his father kept giving him, it seems that he had a few things that he wanted to say. Alec had only just sat himself down when his father began.

"I'm just going to get this out of the way. Magnus, I'm really not happy"-

"Dad please", Alec interrupted. His father said he would try, but criticising his boyfriend within the first five minutes of meeting him was not trying.

"Alexander please do not interrupt me", his father replied sternly, not giving him a chance to reply before he turned his attention back to Magnus again. "As I was saying; I really am not happy with the way you treated my son at the start of this year, Magnus. Or William. It was cruel and I sincerely hope you have realised how much hurt your actions caused."

Alec was staring wide eyed at his father, and from the corner of his eye he could see Izzy doing the same. This was not what he expected his father to be bringing up. He was just about to tell his dad that everything was cleared up and there was no need to bring it up again when his boyfriend beat him to it, giving him a small smile to show that everything was okay.

"I can honestly tell you Mr Lightwood, that there is nothing I regret more from this year. I never meant for anything like that to happen. I'm a bit, uh flirtatious by nature", Magnus paused to see how Alec's father received that comment, but the man had a great poker face and Magnus was forced to continue. He just hoped he wasn't digging himself into a hole.

"I had no idea they were friends when I met them, and when I found out that they were _best friends_ I had no idea what to do! I didn't want to hurt anyone so I thought that if I did nothing then maybe it would sort itself out. But it didn't and by the time I did anything everything was just a huge mess. There really are no words for how sorry I am for that."

Alec had a lot of respect for his boyfriend at the end of that. Whilst Alec knew he would have been staring at his shoes the entire time, Magnus did not look away from his father once. A quick glance told Alec that his dad was begrudgingly impressed as well. It allowed Alec to hope (for the first time since his mother had suggested the meal) that everything would be okay with his father.

As they started eating the grilled chicken his mother had prepared, the conversation gradually became less tense. "So Magnus", his dad began as he pierced a piece of lettuce with his fork, "what is it you plan on doing once you finish school?"

"Well", Magnus paused looking at Alec nervously and only continuing once his blue eyed boyfriend had offered a gentle encouraging smile. "I plan to study fashion, with a focus on men's clothing. The only problem is that the university I want to go to is really competitive and doesn't have a high acceptance rate. And I'd have to do their Foundation Diploma in Art and Design first; I actually spent all of last summer creating my portfolio for that so I'm just waiting to hear whether they want to interview me or not". Alec's heart melted at the nervous smile Magnus gave his family, but he was more than surprised by who was the first to offer him some support.

"Well, you look like you know your stuff so I'm sure you'll be fine, Magnus".

Alec could tell that he wasn't the only one who was staring open mouthed at his father. Again.

"What?" His father went to defend himself. "Selective means you have to stand out, and if his designs are anything like what he's wearing then I'm pretty sure Magnus can stand out."

Alec had to chuckle at that. His boyfriend was the definition of standing out and today (although a little toned down) was no exception. He had tight, slightly ripped jeans on which he paired with a white, long sleeved silk shirt which (just as with his shoes) was covered in paint splodges of different colours. He had a dark purple lipstick on and his eyes and hair were accentuated with gold and glitter. Alec thought he looked stunning.

"Oh, um thank you Mr Lightwood." Alec could see that Magnus was beginning to get embarrassed and was just about to rescue his boyfriend when his sister decided that would be the perfect time to input into the conversation.

"Oh his clothes are great! You should see the shirt he made Alec. Alec go and get the shirt."

"I don't think that's necessary Iz."

"I wasn't asking", was his sister's only reply as she chose to glare at him until he went upstairs, giving his boyfriend an apologetic glance as he reached the doorway. Even Alec felt uncomfortable at everyone staring at him when he entered the room; he couldn't imagine how his boyfriend had to be feeling. He had only just settled himself in his chair when his mother took the t-shirt off of him and held it up to inspect it.

"Oh Magnus, this is lovely."

It would have been nice had the conversation ended there, however it appeared that much of the night's conversation was destined to be at his expense.

"Well, Alec", his father declared with an amused smile as he glanced at the top swirling with blue and indigo. "At least this relationship might bring a bit more colour to your wardrobe. Any more black jumpers and dark jeans and I might start to think you were harbouring outfits for a life of crime".

The only thing that drowned out Alec's wounded protest was the laughter coming from his boyfriend and his sister. Yet despite the jokes at his expense, Alec wouldn't change a thing about this dinner. His dad was really trying, and if he was being honest, he was beginning to think that maybe his father liked Magnus, even if just a little bit. He really hoped that was true.

The rest of the meal passed without any more expressions of discontent. Admittedly his mother was the one who spent most of the time speaking to Magnus, but his dad did chip in every now and then. Between the two of them they must have covered everything: where he grew up, who his mum is, where he went to school, his ex partners (although thankfully Magnus brushed past that one fairly quickly), what he likes, what he doesn't like. Alec was convinced that his parents knew his boyfriend better than he did at this point. Though he did notice that Magnus only told them that he lived with his mother, he mentioned nothing about being adopted. But if Magnus didn't want his parents to know, he wouldn't tell them. Alec thought it wasn't really any of their business anyway.

Perhaps the most amusing part of the evening was indeed his father's reaction to Magnus' makeup. Alec saw the way his father's eyebrows rose when he noticed it for the first time. He also noticed when he kept staring throughout the meal, as if his eyes were drawn to it even though he knew it was rude to stare. Magnus always noticed of course, Alec saw his lips press together in a thin line and he knew he would have to talk to him later and make sure he wasn't too offended by his father's rude behaviour. But then again, his reaction may have been a more successful attempt at hiding his laughter. His sister, on the other hand, laughed every time she saw our father look, the only thing more amusing being the speed with which he averted his eyes and looked down guiltily at the table again. Alec pinned it on curiosity; he hadn't said anything to Magnus (he would forever be thanking all the gods for that) and he was pretty sure there was no hostility in the look. He'd take that as a win.

He was so confident that things were going well that he didn't even say anything when his boyfriend went to kiss him on the cheek after he walked him to the door. He did flinch a little (which Alec felt was pretty understandable given that his parents were _right behind him_ ), but when he turned around all he could see was the two of them smiling at him. It was confirmed; Magnus was officially his boyfriend and his parents didn't seem to mind.


	25. Chapter 25- Love and Friendship

**A/N -** Welcome back everyone!

Sarjoo06- Thank you, I'm glad you liked it!

Guest- Thank you! If I'm honest, it wasn't until I was writing the last chapter that I noticed how little this story explored Magnus and his thoughts. I was so tempted to write this chapter as Alec going to his house and just listening to him, but as you're about to see I didn't do so. That was mainly because I didn't really think it had much purpose in developing the story or characters. With Robert, I feel like he's a man who does love his children but happens to make a lot of mistakes. I hope you enjoy the rest of the story!

With that said, I do have a question. I don't include much about Magnus himself, or for that matter Will/Jem. But would anyone be interested in either (or both) a bonus Magnus-centric chapter and/or a Jem/Will chapter?

Anyway, enough of me. I hope you enjoy the chapter, and as always characters still belong to Cassandra Clare.

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It was the first day back at college after the Christmas holidays, and Magnus was interested to see whether Alec and Will's reconciliation meant that the latter would sit with them at lunch. More importantly, Magnus was eager to see whether it meant that he and Will could salvage some form of friendship. It wasn't just because he knew how upset Alec would be if the two of them couldn't get on, it was also because he sincerely missed the blue eyed boy. He stood by what he said all those months ago; Will was one of the few people who could really make him laugh. He enjoyed his company, and if he was honest with himself, he had missed Will all these months. He just didn't say anything because he knew it was hard enough for Alec anyway. He also knew he only had himself to blame; what right did he have to complain? It didn't stop him hoping that the blue eyed boy would be sat at their usual sofa in the common room though.

By the end of last year it had started to get too cold for them to remain outside so they had to relocate indoors. The only problem was that their college just couldn't fit everyone. It was out of this that the 12:30 dash was born. There was an unwritten consensus around the school; anyone who had a free period before lunch left five minutes early to claim their group's 'spot'. Any later than that and you'd all find yourselves camped out in hallways or braving the cold air. It was in the desire to avoid this that Magnus (the only one of his friends to have a free period before lunch on Mondays) found himself running as quickly as he could down the stairs leading out of the library. He had become too caught up in his project for his textiles class that he hadn't noticed how much time had passed before it was almost exactly 12:30. If he didn't get their spot his friends would kill him; Izzy had told him in no uncertain terms that she would not ruin her clothes by sitting on the floor in the hallway.

He had just turned the corner leading to the common room, only narrowly avoiding a head on collision with one of the girls in the year below, when he saw a familiar figure sprawled all the way across their sofa. His eyes didn't leave the page of his book when Magnus came to a standstill next to him, folded over double and bracing his hands on his knees as he tried to regain his breath. "You know", he drawled only now raising his bright blue eyes to smirk at the glittery teenager; "I was informed that you were supposed to save the seats today. This is a bit late, isn't it?"

Will had finally closed his book and placed it back in his bag and was now grinning up at Magnus, amused at how out of breath he had made himself.

"Lost track of time", Magnus managed to huff out before bringing a couple of chairs over to the blue couch that Will had claimed. No matter how close they all sat, they could not fit 6, 7 now including Will, teenagers on one small sofa.

"Yes I did guess that".

An awkward silence fell after Will's snarky comment. This was just the moment that Magnus had been hoping for earlier, but now it was here he had no idea what to do. But if Alec had taught him anything in these last couple of weeks is that sometimes you just have to seize the opportunity you've been given and not look back. Magnus thought back to the necklace that Alec had given him, the symbol of hope that lay on his chest for everyone to see. Will was smiling at him, he was talking; Magnus decided that there was every possibility that he could set things right. So he sat opposite Will and looked straight into his eyes, hoping that the other teenager could see just how honest he was being.

"I am so sorry Will. Beyond sorry; there are no words for how sorry I am. I didn't mean for everything to get so out of hand. And I really did not mean to hurt you in anyway. I need you to know that. You have so much to offer Will; I mean no one can deny that you are gorgeous. But beyond that; you are kind, and intelligent, and honestly made me laugh more than I have laughed in a very long time. You were almost everything that a lonely boy needed." Magnus paused as Will smiled at him, only slightly sadder than when he had first joined the teenager.

"Almost. Not quite though", Will replied.

Magnus immediately regretted his choice of words; he was supposed to be making amends, building a friendship. He wasn't supposed to insult the boy even more. He ran a hand down his face as he sighed loudly.

"Shit. Will I didn't mean that how it sounded".

"It's okay", Will cut in before he could try to explain himself further. Knowing his luck he'd probably just dig a hole all the way to Australia. "You were right, we are too alike. We've put up walls and pretended we were all right when in reality we were broken. You, and I, needed someone who could break down those walls; someone who could see who we tried to hide. I couldn't be that person. I get it. I really do."

In that moment, Magnus was so relieved he wanted to cry. He could actually feel the tears stinging at his eyes but he blinked them back furiously. "I know I asked you this before, but do you think we could be friends? I really have missed you, Will".

Magnus was pleased at the gentle smile Will gave him. "If I'm honest, once I got through the hurt and anger, trust me there was a lot of anger, I missed you too. I think we could be great friends".

Magnus gave him a massive grin in return."Oh absolutely".

"But only if you remember one thing".

Magnus' smile immediately dimmed at the stern look on Will's face and the seriousness in his eyes. "What?" He was almost afraid to ask.

"If you **ever** hurt Alec in **any way,** it won't just be Jace and Izzy you'll have to look out for. Are we clear?"

"Crystal", Magnus replied nervously. In that moment there was no doubt in Magnus' mind that should things ever go south with Alec, forget watching his back, he'd need eyes facing in all four directions! But Magnus was not too worried about this; he knew what he felt for Alec, and although it was still early days he believed they might be able to go the distance. He hoped they could at least.

"Good", Will stated clearly oblivious to Magnus' musings. There was a beat of silence again, though not as awkward as the first time, before Will spoke. "So, should we seal this friendship with a hug? I won't tell Alec if you don't", he added with a playful wink.

"Oh shut up, you idiot", was all Magnus had time for before Will pulled him into a quick hug. With a final slap to the back the two pulled apart and Magnus resettled in his chair once again, glad that the two of them had been able to forge a friendship out of Magnus' mistake.

"Right if you two are done with your heart to heart do you think the rest of us could sit down now?" Jace's loud, obnoxious statement jolted Magnus from his thoughts as he turned around to face the door, just in time to see the blond get a not-too-gentle whack on the arm from Clary. He was shocked to see everyone standing there, and it was only now that he realised that he and Will had been talking for a good ten minutes. The embarrassment he felt at the whole room staring at him because of Jace's outburst was only dimmed by the happiness radiating off of his boyfriend. He knew it would make Alec happy if he and Will could create some form of friendship.

"But of course", Will declared with his usual dramatics as he shuffled to the end of the sofa to allow the others to sit down next to him. It was then that something curious happened.

Sharing a quick glance with Alec confirmed that his boyfriend also hadn't missed how close Jace and Clary were sitting and how Simon had taken the arm of the couch next to Izzy rather than the third chair. He leaned closer to his boyfriend, who had taken the chair next to him, to talk to him quietly so they wouldn't be overheard.

"Has something happened between them?"

Magnus watched as his boyfriend kept an eye on the four while he replied. "I'm not too sure. I mean I knew Simon had a thing for Izzy, it was pretty obvious. But I didn't know if she'd do something about it. As for Jace and Clary? Well he had been quite cheerful over Christmas, but I thought that maybe that was because Will was talking to us again."

"Hmm", was all Magnus said as he pulled out his lunch and started eating. _Maybe that would be a mystery I will solve over time_. Or at least, that's what Magnus thought until Will opened his mouth.

"Urgh", he sighed dramatically. "Am I going to spend my entire lunch surrounded by couples?"

Honestly, Magnus tried not to laugh at the reaction to that. He really did. Between Alec's panicked expression and hasty "would you be quiet", Simon jumping off the sofa as if it had electrocuted him, Izzy (rather uncharacteristically) blushing a deep crimson to rival that of her brother's at his best, and Jace and Clary quickly scooting away from each other, Magnus thought his laughter was rather justified.

"Well that at least answers our question Alec", Magnus said to his boyfriend with a little smile. He was glad that at least Alec hadn't moved away from _him_. Did it hurt him a little that Alec clearly didn't want other people to know about them? Of course it did. But Alec had done so much this last week, and it would be selfish to ask him to do more. He would just do things at Alec's pace.

"Yes enough about your questions", Will stated while holding his hands over his chest. "What about me? I'm just sat here **all alone**."

Magnus paused while he considered whether what he wanted to say was appropriate. Since Will had no problem with publically commenting on his relationship despite the fact that he knew Alec isn't comfortable with it, he decided it was only fair to return the favour.

"Oh, but what about Mr Silver?" _Score_ , Magnus thought at the choking noise Will made. He was even surprised to see a very faint blush colouring his cheeks.

"How on earth do you know about that?"

"Wait", Alec interjected excitedly, accidently hitting Magnus on the arm a little harder than he intended. "Is this the gossip you were going to tell me?"

"Gossip?" Magnus was amused at the way Izzy threw herself over Jace's lap as she leant closer to Magnus in order to hear him better. "What has dear William been getting himself up to?"

"Seriously Magnus, how do you know about this?" It was easy to hear the frustration in Will's voice so Magnus decided that the time for teasing was over.

"I started work in that cafe you two go to a couple of weeks ago."

"And how did I never see you there?"

"Well. The two times you came in, I was in the store room when you ordered and by the time I came back out you were too deep in conversation with Mr Silver to notice. I thought it might be rude to interrupt. So who is he? Your boyfriend?"

"NO", Will replied a little too quickly and far too loudly. He quickly gave Alec a dirty look as his friend started to chuckle in his seat.

"Don't give me that look Will. Do you know how many times you and Jace have done this to me? It's just fun for it to happen to someone else for a change. Now don't avoid the question, is he your boyfriend?"

"I already told you no".

"Well what's his name?" Magnus knew it wouldn't be too long before Jace would interrupt the conversation.

There was a pause while Will sported a wounded look at being ganged up on, the only sound being Alec's occasional laughter. "Jem", he reluctantly admitted. But it looked like even he couldn't keep a smile off of his face.

"You really like him, don't you?" It wasn't surprising that Clary was a lot more gentle and far more sensitive when she asked Will than Jace or the Lightwoods had been. It wasn't just that she was far less inclined to teasing than the others were, it was also the fact that she did not know Will half as well as the others (minus Simon) did. It was jst an unwritten rule in their group; there were some things that only certain people could tease about. This was one of them.

"Yes", Will admitted. "And I think he likes me too. But he hasn't said anything so I'm not sure what to do. I mean he's kind, and patient and somehow manages to get me to tell him things I've never told anyone else. I've trusted him since the first time we met, and honestly if it wasn't for him and Tessa, I'm not sure if I would have come to see you guys over Christmas. They managed to talk sense into me when nothing else could. But what if I'm wrong and he doesn't like me that way? I can't lose his friendship. I just can't."

Magnus could see that Jace and Alec were going to say something, probably to comfort their friend; but Magnus knew now that sometimes comfort was not what a person really needed. Even if it was what they wanted.

"Will look at where our refusal to be upfront got us these last few months. Everyone was miserable all because I wasn't honest. Sometimes, you just have to seize the opportunity you're given and run with it. If you trust him, and if he's as kind as you say he is, then I'm sure that even if you're wrong you won't lose him as a friend. If me and you can salvage some form of friendship, then I'm sure yours can withstand a one sided declaration of attraction. And if he feels the same way, then you've found yourself someone you can depend on. You just have to take a leap of faith."

Will only responded with a nod and a small smile, but Magnus supposed that he was thinking what he said over. After that, the conversation turned far lighter and Magnus was content to just sit and watch as Alec teased Simon and Izzy while Will, Jace and Clary discussed ideal holiday destinations. He had been in this town for less than a year, but already his life was far better than the one he had in London. Now, he had no idea why he ever complained about leaving. The loneliness that crept up on him had gradually disappeared and was replaced by friends who showed him everyday what it was like to have people who truly cared. The feeling that no one could, or would, love him diminished every time Alec looked at him like he was truly precious. For the first time he finally felt that he would be okay. He didn't know where he and Alec would end up for university, but they had months until college finished and they could figure it out then. For now, they had each other, they had their friends, and they had their families.

And really, who could ask for more?


	26. Chapter 26- Bonus WillJem

**A/N-** Wow, I am so sorry for not updating sooner, but I really wanted to post these three chapters together. I really hope you enjoy them!

Disclaimer - All characters belong to Cassandra Clare.

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"Will come on, you will be late if you do not leave", his companion spoke gently as they lay next to each other, his head of silver hair resting on the blue eyed boy's chest.

"I don't want to leave", Will complained as he pulled the other teenager closer to him and placed a small kiss on his forehead.

"It is your leavers' ball Will, you can't just skip it. Plus I will be here when you get back. Now get up, I want to see you in your suit".

"Fine", Will huffed dramatically as he pulled himself out of the bed and collected the suit he had left hanging in the wardrobe. "Honestly Jem, the things I do for you".

"Like bring me cheesy picnics so we can hibernate in the library?"

Will pivoted to face his boyfriend and placed a hand over his heart. "Why must you wound me so James? You love my picnics".

Jem got out of the bed and made his way slowly to his boyfriend, wrapping his arms around his neck and smiling at Will as he looked into his eyes. "I always knew you were a hopeless romantic". He paused to give his black haired boyfriend a kiss on the lips. "Now go and get ready before I have to phone your friends and tell them why you are late." With that he gave his boyfriend a gentle push towards his en-suite bathroom and walked over to the armchair where his violin was sitting, playing a simple melody as he waited for Will to get ready.

As he felt himself get immersed in the music, his surroundings faded into background information. It was because of this that he failed to hear the bathroom door open, didn't see the way Will stood by the door, a smile on his face as he watched the way his boyfriend lost himself in his violin.

* * *

Will was quick getting changed after he had been forced into the bathroom, his reasoning being that the less time he spends getting dressed the more time he could spend with his boyfriend before he had to leave. His mind paused on the word boyfriend. It had been three months since the two of them became official, but the thought of being able to call the ethereal boy in the next room _his boyfriend_ still made him unbelievably happy. As he finished getting dressed he thought back to April where, much to his surprise, it was Jem who had asked Will to be his boyfriend.

 _It was a rare, fairly warm evening in the middle of April and the two of them had been dating for three months. In this time, Will had learnt that while Jem's immune system meant he couldn't spend a lot of time in crowded places he didn't have to be confined to his home. He could go out, they just had to make sure that it wouldn't be too busy and that the weather wasn't too bad. The coffee shop where they had first met was a common date site for them; it was never too full and had excellent heating for when the weather was cooler. However, they didn't want to be confined to one place; the problem was finding a good restaurant that wasn't busy._

 _That task was proving harder than Will thought it would be; either the restaurant was too busy or looked questioningly unhygienic. He had been looking for two weeks and was becoming slightly desperate by the time he confided in his friends on the day he had promised Jem he would take him somewhere different for dinner. Surprisingly, it was Magnus who jumped to the rescue, telling him about a great Indonesian restaurant he knows a little out of town which is always quiet early on a Wednesday evening. Will didn't fail to notice Alec's blush when Magnus mentioned the name of the restaurant and gushed about how romantic it was, but he didn't have the room to dwell on his friend's dating life. He was too busy worrying about his own._

 _Will was usually confident in choosing what he wore, but that night he just couldn't decide. He wanted everything to be perfect, after all that was the night he intended to ask Jem to officially be his boyfriend. He wasn't entirely sure why he was nervous, he was pretty sure that Jem would say yes, but no matter how hard he tried to push it down there was still a part of him that was convinced he would be rejected. He guessed he would just always be insecure when it came to romance, to opening himself up completely to someone. But with Jem he had no regrets._

 _It took a while, but he was finally happy with what he was wearing. He wore his dark grey jeans that were almost black but had enough light in them to help lift the colour a bit and paired it with a tight fitting blue shirt which Isabelle told him brought out his eyes. All in all, he thought he looked quite good, but once he was stood on the doorstep of Jem's house and saw what he had on, he thought the other looked a million times better. He had never seen him in anything other than denim jeans and a comfortable T-shirt or jumper. It was therefore a pleasant surprise to see him in a grey button up shirt, navy blue chinos and brown dress shoes. The sight was only beaten by the light blush that coloured his cheeks when Will told him how beautiful he looked._

 _It was a silent ride to the restaurant, not awkward but comfortable. Will kept his eyes on the road but occasionally glanced at his companion out of the corner of his eye. Magnus and Alec had told him that the restaurant looked more like a cottage with an array of flowers out the front, but he was not prepared for the sight that greeted him. The entryway was lined with yellow, cream, red and orange tulips, while the various flower beds along the walls of the restaurant were filled with blue bells. Will quickly looked at Jem's reaction and swore to himself that even if the food was terrible, it would be worth it to see the joy on his face._

 _As it turned out, the food wasn't terrible; in fact it was one of the best meals he had ever eaten out. They had just been talking about simple things over dinner; what they had done during the week and what they could do on their next date, but it was while he was eating their dessert that he became more nervous. They were no longer in a rush to eat, and the opportunity to just sit and talk over a slice of cake was the best chance to talk about something serious. He had just opened his mouth to speak when Jem beat him to it._

" _I had a really lovely time tonight Will, thank you". Will wasn't surprised that Jem spoke gently; everything about his companion was gentle._

" _Really I should be thanking you Jem", Will started as he took the other boy's hands. "If you hadn't have sat with me when I was in the cafe I wouldn't be with you now. And honestly I'm the happiest I've ever been." He paused to take a steadying breath, the final encouragement he needed, when Jem once again broke the silence._

" _That is good to hear", he said with a smile as he squeezed Will's hands. "Does that mean you will agree to be my boyfriend?"_

 _Will could feel his eyes grow wide, his mouth opening and closing as he tried to find the right words. But nothing came out. He had spent all evening worrying about this question, and Jem had just uttered it as if it was the simplest thing in the world. Before he knew it, he was laughing; small giggles that eventually became an uncontrollable laugh. He could see Jem getting uneasy as he shifted in his seat, but the harder he tried to stop laughing, the more difficult it became._

" _I'm sorry for laughing Jem", he managed to gasp out as the laughing subsided a little. "It's just I've spent all evening trying to ask you that, and you beat me to it!"_

 _This time it was Jem who laughed as he held one of Will's hands, raising it to his mouth to kiss it gently before he spoke. "So that was a yes, then?"_

" _Of course", Will replied with a smile._

Will was still smiling as he pulled on his charcoal grey suit jacket and opened the bathroom door. He was so deep in thought that he hadn't heard the sound of his boyfriend playing his violin. He looked so peaceful that he didn't want to interrupt him; instead he leant against the bathroom door and watched as, with his eyes closed, Jem's body swayed in time with what he was playing. He still remembered the first time he came to this house, how sad Jem had looked when he said he no longer played. It wasn't until their first date that Will learnt the reason for this.

 _It wasn't until the week after the lunch where Magnus encouraged him to go and talk to Jem that Will had managed to find the courage to go and see him. They still talked or texted every day but whenever Jem asked if he wanted to meet up Will would give him the excuse that he was busy. He knew that this could only be used for so long and he felt terrible about lying to Jem, so it wasn't any surprise that he only lasted a week before he agreed to go to his house to see him._

 _This time he wasn't as nervous as he stood on the threshold of the house. When Charlotte answered the door, looking every bit as frazzled as she did the first time, he managed to greet her as warmly as she did, stopping to have a quick conversation with her and her husband once he came up from the basement._

 _He also didn't need directions to Jem's room anymore. He had been here several times since they met and already felt like he knew this part of the house like the back of his hand. Once outside the door, he saw it was left ajar so he pushed it open gently without knocking; Jem knew when he was coming and Will assumed that if knocking was desired then the door would have been completely shut. It was only once he was stood at the threshold looking into the tidy room that Will realised that he might have been completely wrong._

 _Jem looked as lovely as he always did, dressed comfortably in a pair of slightly worn jeans and bright green jumper, but the look on his face broke Will's heart. Jem was looking at something in his lap so Will couldn't see his eyes, but the pain was evident in the way that his eyebrows furrowed and in the way that he was biting down on his lower lip, his shoulders set rigidly. Will had never seen Jem this upset in all the times they had been together; not even when he explained to Will what his illness meant for him. He wanted to comfort Jem, but he had no idea how. He sure as hell was going to try though._

 _He turned around and shut the door firmly before taking some hesitant steps towards the boy on the bed. Once he had done so he could finally see what he was looking at, and when he did his breath hitched. Sat on his lap, being cradled as if it was the most precious thing in the world, was a violin. It had a deep colour, almost red in the right light, and even Will was able to appreciate the elegance of the instrument. He could also remember the sad way in which Jem announced that he no longer played._

" _Jem", he spoke softly; afraid of startling the other boy._

" _Hello Will", Jem replied just as quietly with a voice laced with sadness. He had still been looking at the instrument in his lap as Will came towards him, presumably too caught up in his thoughts to notice Will's presence. However, once he had greeted him he looked up, and Will almost flinched at the pain he saw there. Even his usual silver contacts were missing, and in their place Will found himself locked in a gaze with misery filled dark brown eyes._

 _He silently sat on the chair next to the bed, resting a gentle hand on Jem's forearm. They sat in silence for a few minutes before Will decided to speak again._

" _That really is a beautiful work of art", he said while looking at the violin in Jem's lap._

" _Thank you"_. _Jem's response was quiet, his gaze never leaving the instrument._

" _Talk to me Jem. A wise man once told me that the things we don't want to talk about are the very things we should be discussing."_

 _Will had hoped that his attempt to lighten the mood might work a little, but all it achieved was a slight lift of one corner of Jem's mouth._

" _It is not a happy story, Will"._

 _Jem had finally put the violin back in its case and had placed it under his bed where, Will guessed, he usually kept it. Seeing that Jem was still upset, Will took the opportunity to move to the other side of the bed, taking one of Jem's now empty hands._

" _I won't force you to tell me if you don't want to, but don't bottle it up because you think it might upset me. I told you nothing but upsetting things the first time we met. You've helped me through some of the worst weeks of my life, and now I'd like to do the same for you. If you'll let me"._

 _Will wasn't sure how long they were sat next to each other just breathing. It could have been minutes, or it could have been a couple of hours. But he meant what he said; he wouldn't push Jem. He would listen if he wanted him to, but if he wanted to change the topic he would gladly do anything to bring a smile back to his face. It had been so long since they had spoken that he almost jumped when he heard Jem's voice._

" _My parents bought it for me. In fact, it is the only thing I have left from them". There was a pause as Jem readjusted them on the bed, sitting so that instead of being side by side they were face to face. But Jem was not looking at him; instead he stared at their hands._

" _My father also played the violin; he used to play to me all the time when I was a baby. I cannot really remember when I fell in love with it, perhaps I always was. They bought me my first violin when I was four, and I was awful for a long time. It was so disheartening; I used to cry and insist I did not want to play anymore. My father never let me give up though; he would always remind me how much I loved the instrument and that if I kept practising I could play as well as he did. He had the patience of a saint that man"._

 _Jem paused before he continued and Will could feel the sadness radiating off of him. He went to comfort him, but Jem started speaking again before he could move a muscle._

" _We moved here from Shanghai when I was ten years old after my parents had been given jobs with the local police force. We decided not to bring anything with us; my parents wanted a completely new start. I struggled a lot with leaving everyone and everything I knew and had. I had nothing here, knew no one. I was miserable for months after we arrived, but I played my violin a lot. It was the only important thing I could bring with me, and by this point I had gotten quite good and learnt to love it again._

 _It took some time, but eventually I made friends with our neighbours. It made my parents so happy to see that I had learnt to settle in to our new life. Everything was great; for a while. It was on my 12_ _th_ _birthday that my parents gave me this violin. It was quite an expensive one and they said I only got it because they trusted me and they knew I would look after it. I was so proud, I promised I would always play it and that I would look after it as if it was a part of me._

 _And then two weeks later they were dead. They were cracking down on a gang in London that had people running large amounts of drugs into the surrounding counties but they did not get all the members in one go. Somehow a couple managed to storm the station my parents were based in. 15 people died that day, and I was left all alone. Charlotte took me in not too long after, but I never played again. I could not bring myself to look at it; it just reminded me of everything I had lost. Even now it stays under the bed most of the time. But today marks 6 years since they were killed, and it is the only way I can be close to them"._

 _It was only then that Jem looked up at Will, tears streaming steadily down his face. The young man who was always calm and collected, who was the voice of reason in a sea of madness was shattering before his very eyes and Will just wanted to cry along with him. But he wouldn't let himself. Instead he moved the two of them so they were sat side by side again and pulled Jem into his arms, holding him close as he let the other cry until he had nothing left in him._

" _You did not apologise", Jem hiccupped._

" _I thought we knew each other better than that", Will whispered into his companion's hair. "But you know what I think?"_

" _What?"_

" _You need to play again"-_

" _Will I can't"... Jem broke himself off with a heartbroken sigh._

" _Hear me out James. It hurts you because you associate it with the loss of your parents. But you don't have to. You can make it something happy if you remember their love or their pride. Or maybe just make new memories with it, play it for someone or something that makes you happy. I'm not saying it has to be today, but I think that eventually you need to play. You shouldn't keep it locked away forever."_

 _Jem was silent for a moment as he pulled himself out of Will's embrace and settled against the headboard. "I will think about it."_

 _There was something about the tone of Jem's voice which indicated that this discussion was over, and Will decided it was probably wise not to try and push him too far. Indeed, he was just about to move the conversation on again when Jem spoke._

" _I am glad you could make it today Will, I know you have been busy this week. Are you finally free or was there something that brought you here?"_

 _Will can remember thinking in that moment that Jem had to be a mind reader; no one should be that astute._

" _Honestly, I wanted to ask you something, but I uh, I'm not sure if now is a good time?"_

 _Will couldn't remember the last time he had sounded so apprehensive; but this was important. Jem was different to everyone else he had ever met and he didn't want to mess anything up. He was pretty sure that asking while Jem was still visibly upset probably wasn't a good idea._

" _You can ask me anything Will, it is okay"._

 _That was typical of Jem , Will thought. He immediately concerned himself with how others were feeling, he even held one of Will's hands in an attempt to ease his worries._

" _Okay, um. Well, if I'm being fully honest I haven't really been busy this week I've just been too afraid to come and see you."_

 _Will had averted his eyes while he said this, but now he looked at Jem to try and gauge his reaction. All he was met with was an impressive poker face._

" _And why is that?"_

 _Will opened his mouth once, twice, three times but no sound came out. He knew what he wanted to say but he just couldn't get his vocal chords to work. The more he looked at Jem, saw the sadness fade a little in his eyes and the tear tracks stained on his cheeks, the surer he was that he wanted to know what it felt like to kiss him. To be able to hug him and call him his. But the more he wanted it, the harder it became to speak and the more he felt himself panic. He was sure that the panic must have been visible in his eyes, because before he knew it Jem had placed a hand on the side of his face and was gently brushing his thumb against his cheekbone._

" _Calm down Will. Just tell me what it is you want to say."_

 _It was the way that Jem was still cradling his face, smiling softly at him that finally gave him the confidence to ask what he had gone there to ask._

" _I really like you Jem; so much. You're incredible and I was wondering if you would like to go on a date with me?"_

 _He had tried to maintain eye contact throughout his question but found himself staring at his lap as he finished what he wanted to ask. It was only when Jem moved his hand to under his chin that he looked at his face, his heart leaping at the smile that Jem wore._

" _I really like you too, Will. And yes, I would love to go on a date with you"._

 _It was impossible to tell who was smiling more, but all Will knew was that his face hurt but he never wanted to stop. He wasn't sure what silent communication had passed between them, and he wasn't sure who moved first (he had a fleeting thought that it might have been Jem) but suddenly they were kissing. Jem's hands were wrapped around his waist while he placed his around Jem's shoulders. Jem's lips were soft but firm against his and he poured everything he had into the kiss; his gratitude at having found him, the sorrow he felt for his parents and the comfort he wanted to offer. He felt Jem press himself slightly closer, deepening the kiss in return and it was in that moment that he felt a peace he hadn't experienced in a long time._

"What are you thinking about?"

An amused voice cut through his reminiscing. He had been so deep in thought that he hadn't heard when Jem stopped playing. He smiled at his boyfriend as he walked further into the bedroom, stopping right in front of the silver haired boy.

"You", he answered with a playful smile.

"Well stop it", was Jem's response. "You really have to leave now if you want to get there on time." He paused as he stepped closer to his boyfriend, straightening his tie before placing his hands on his shoulders. "But you really do look beautiful you know?"

"Thank you James", Will replied with a sincere smile before giving his boyfriend a quick kiss. "But I really wish you could come".

"I know you do, you have said this several times today".

"I know", Will said with sadness seeping into his voice. "But it's my leavers' ball and I wanted to share it with you".

"Do not be sad William", Jem replied as he pulled the blue eyed boy into a gentle hug. "I will still be here tonight; and the day after that and every day after that until you get bored with me".

It was clearly an attempt to lighten the mood, but Will took this comment very seriously and pulled back to look his boyfriend in the eye.

"I will never get bored of you James, never. I just wanted you there tonight because I wanted to spend it with all the people I love".

Will felt his eyes widen with those last words; he hadn't meant to say them. He knew what he felt, but he wasn't sure if Jem felt the same way and he didn't want to pressure the other teenager into saying something he may not mean. However, his panic was short lived when a radiant smile lit up his boyfriend's face as he pulled him closer, leaning in to rest their foreheads together uttering the words Will had always wanted to hear from someone.

"I love you too".


	27. Epilogue

Alec was nervous as he shrugged on his dark blue suit jacket and walked out of his bedroom door. It was the day of his leavers' ball, and although Alec had decided a month ago that he would go with Magnus as a date, part of him still wasn't quite ready to face the world. Alec had had the idea of using the ball as a date for weeks before he built up the courage to ask Magnus. He could still picture the shocked look on his boyfriend's face; the uneven way he still asked him if he was really okay with that, even though his eyes shone with excitement at the idea. It was that which formed the final nail in the coffin. It was so clear to see how much Magnus wanted them to go as boyfriends, and yet he still stopped to make sure that was something that Alec really wanted.

And it was.

He was tired of hiding and pretending every day. He was tired of seeing all the other couples at school walking around holding hands or sharing a quick kiss while he stood there feeling like he couldn't do the same. So tonight their whole year will find out that he's gay. At least Alec would never have to see them again. He took comfort in that- the only people he would go out of his way to keep in touch with all supported him. He had finally understood that no one else mattered.

It took him a long time to learn that lesson, and he learnt it in stages; so gradually that he hadn't even noticed it happening. Alec still remembered how terrified he was on his first date that someone who knew him would see him together with another man, how for several weeks afterwards they only went on dates to places where they knew no one else from school would be. And eventually, Alec learnt to relax and stop checking over his shoulder every five minutes. He hadn't even noticed he had done that until Magnus gave him a passionate kiss in his car on the way back home that night. When he asked Magnus what it was for, the glittery teenager told him that he had finally gone the whole night without checking the other people around him. For a moment, Alec allowed himself to feel the pride that Magnus did.

The next step was terrifying; he finally agreed to go to a restaurant in town rather than half an hour away. He had been a wreck all day, and he knew he was back to looking over his shoulder every couple of minutes, flinching every time Magnus' hand strayed too close to his. That one was a difficult date in the middle of January. It was hard for them to talk to each other, and for the first time in a while, Alec felt ashamed. Ashamed that he allowed himself to be ruled by what other people thought. There was no lingering after that date; no kisses in the car and no reluctant parting; just Alec who all but ran from the car in order to retreat to the safety of his home.

His father was the only person in the house that night, and something on his face must have told him he was struggling. Things were still a little awkward between them, but his dad had really tried during the last month and Alec was grateful for it. He still saw an uneasy look in his eyes whenever he saw same sex couples holding hands, but true to his word, he never said anything. So tonight, when he was upset and ashamed he allowed his father to comfort him, to remind him that all the people who mattered didn't think any less of him.

It didn't mean things were immediately easy, that he could instantly forget his fears and not worry. But it meant that he wasn't going to give up; that every time he was tempted to look around and move his hand away he would remind himself of his father's words. He would tell himself that they didn't matter. He had to tell himself that a lot the next time that he and Magnus went to a local establishment. And while he may not have let Magnus hold his hand, he did manage to only look around once or twice. It wasn't much, but it was still progress and it made Magnus smile at him with pride once more. So he continued to tell himself that they didn't matter every time they went out.

If you asked him, Alec could not tell you when he had finally started to believe it. Maybe it was the first time he held Magnus' hand when they were in a restaurant back in March. Or maybe it was the time he greeted Magnus with a quick kiss on the cheek when they were in a cafe in April. All he knew was that tonight, no one else mattered; no one except his boyfriend and his best friends.

Even after 8 months together, Alec still marvelled at the fact that he got to call Magnus his boyfriend. He didn't like to think about how they almost never happened. If agreeing to go on a date with Magnus turns out to be the only selfish thing Alec allows himself to do, he wouldn't regret it. Even with all the heartache it caused with Will, Alec just couldn't find himself to regret anything; it may have been difficult but everything had worked out well in the end. He still had all the people he loved, and for once in his life he was really, truly happy.

It was the short, sharp ring of the doorbell that brought Alec out of his musings. He'd been sat in the living room waiting for his boyfriend to arrive so it didn't take him long to reach the front door. He paused and took a deep breath as he pulled the heavy door towards him, looking at his boyfriend with a gentle smile. It took a minute before he could breathe properly again, because stood before him was the most beautiful sight he had ever seen.

Magnus had toned down his makeup for the night; he only wore foundation and eyeliner and while the glitter was still there it was only used sparingly. While Alec may love the makeup and glitter, he loved being able to see Magnus' natural beauty even more. This toned down approach was matched with a suit which, Alec was surprised to see, was actually somewhat subdued. He had expected something bright, but instead his boyfriend was stood there in a suit made of a dark green material matched with a white shirt and black tie. The best thing about it was that it brought out the golden flecks in his bright green eyes. Tonight, he was simply magical and Alec was beyond happy that he could finally show the world that Magnus was **his.**

"Are you going to leave me standing here all night?" Magnus' amused voice cut through his admiring, and it was only then that he noticed he had left Magnus standing outside.

"Of course not." Alec tried to swallow past the lump in his throat as he took a step back and let Magnus into his house.

Once he had shut the door behind him, Alec reached out and grabbed Magnus' wrist, pulling his boyfriend closer to him as he pressed his lips firmly against Magnus', trying to show him in that kiss all the love and admiration he was feeling. It was hard to breath when they pulled away from each other, but Alec could barely keep the smile off of his face as he rested his forehead against Magnus' and tried to pull some much needed oxygen into his lungs.

"You look so beautiful", he breathed out once he had regained enough of his breath. The rare sight of Magnus' blush made Alec resolve to make it appear as often as he possibly could. But it was the shy smile and delight swimming in Magnus' golden-green eyes which really made Alec's heart skip a beat. It was in moments like this that he remembered that Magnus wasn't as confident as he made everyone believe. That he needed compliments and encouragement just as much as the next person.

"Thank you, Darling. You look wonderful as well".

Alec wasn't sure what made him blush more, the compliment or the quick kiss to the cheek that Magnus gave him.

"Come on, my mum wants to get a couple of photos together before we go".

This time Alec took Magnus' hand in order to lead him to the living room, where his mum was waiting for them with the family camera that only surfaced a couple of times a year. Alec may have hated photographs, but he could suffer through it if it meant that Magnus and his mum were happy. He just hoped it wouldn't take too long.

* * *

"How on earth did it take an hour for the two of you to finally be happy with a photo? Now we're going to be late".

Alec had only just managed to get his boyfriend into the car, and he was not happy. The school had arranged for the ball to be held in a fancy building on the other side of town which would take at least 20 minutes to get to even if there wasn't any traffic. Given the fact that their entire year would be making their way there, Alec was willing to bet that the journey would be more like 40 minutes. The problem was that the ball was supposed to start in half an hour.

"Relax Alec; it's not a big deal. I bet you most people will be a little late anyway". His boyfriend's tone was slightly teasing and Alec knew that he was only trying to cheer him up, but tonight it wasn't going to work.

"It doesn't matter if other people are going to be late or not, it matters to me". Even Alec could hear how sharp he sounded, but he was too nervous to bring himself to be too apologetic at that moment in time.

"What's this really about Alexander?"

His boyfriend's voice was soft and gentle as Magnus briefly placed his hand on Alec's knee. He knew Magnus would be able to see what he was really feeling; he had been able to do so from the moment they had met. Alec supposed it should have been disconcerting to have someone who you could never lie to, who knew you so well that they could see what you really felt, but instead he found it comforting. He knew that if he was struggling but didn't know how to say so, Magnus would be able to help him. He liked to think that he could do the same for his boyfriend.

Still, he sat silently for a few minutes, his focus on the surprisingly empty road as he tried to voice what was bothering him in a way that – hopefully- wouldn't upset his boyfriend too much. He felt, more than heard, the sigh that escaped him. Felt it build up from the tips of his toes, bursting to be let out before he could bring himself to speak.

"I just...I'm not sure how tonight's going to go, and I know I'll never see most of these people again, but...I'm still worried someone might say something cruel".

Alec was suddenly glad he was driving; it gave him an excuse not to look at his boyfriend as another dense silence settled around them.

"I think that concern will never fully go away, Alec". Magnus was slow and careful as he spoke; as if he was putting a lot of thought into what he wanted to say. Almost as if he thought that if he said the wrong thing, he would scare Alec away. "You'll never know who will be watching you, and what they'll believe. You can't control that, but you can decide what you will do. I can't tell you that I don't worry sometimes that we'll be holding hands in front of the wrong person. Part of me always worries that I'll find myself in the hospital, or worse. But who are they to stop me from enjoying moments with my boyfriend? Someone will always have something to say about whatever they want, but I will not let them stop me from being with you. But that being said, if you don't want to go together tonight, I fully understand. It's not always easy to let go of your fear."

"What? NO- shit". The sadness and acceptance that had crept into Magnus' voice had spurred Alec into responding too assertively and he had momentarily forgotten that he was driving. The result? They almost clipped the curb at 60MpH, and Alec really didn't want to flip his car.

"Magnus", Alec started again once they had recovered from the sudden swerve. "I wouldn't have asked you to go with me if that wasn't what I wanted. But you're right; sometimes it's hard for me to ignore my fear. Just...don't let me give up too easily, okay?"

Out of the corner of his eye he could see his boyfriend smile at him, and he was reminded once again about how lucky he was to have Magnus.

"You know I'm so proud of you, Alexander."

Alec could feel himself blushing as he tried to stutter a response over Magnus' laughter; he never was any good at accepting a compliment. He shook his head a little as his sat nav directed him down a side road on the left that was lined with trees. He could see the huge white building in the background and was surprised at how quickly they had arrived. The number of cars on the road did steadily increase, but not enough to cause severe delays. As such, they still managed to arrive five minutes early and Alec could practically _feel_ his boyfriend smirking smugly next to him.

Alec's gaze was focused on the impressive structure in front of him as he climbed out of the car. He had been dubious about the evening ever since it was announced several months ago that it would be held in the chapel. There were over 200 students in his year, how on earth were they all going to fit into a chapel? Didn't they have pews? It didn't sound very practical to Alec, and he thought this even more as he stared at the huge building in front of him.

"Alec! Magnus!" Jace's enthusiastic voice brought him out of his thoughts as he turned towards the sound of his friend's voice. As Jace was approaching he gave himself a minute to appreciate what he was wearing; his light grey suit fit him well and Alec knew that unlike him, Jace knew full well what colours suited him.

Alec shared a quick confused glance with Magnus. "I thought Will was coming with you?" It was difficult for him to hold in his laughter when Jace simply rolled his eyes as he came to a stop next to his best friend.

"He spent the afternoon with"-

"Lover boy", Magnus was quick to teasingly interject and Alec could feel his mouth quirk up in a quick smile.

"Magnus we shouldn't tease him".

"You do it all the time!"

"To his face! Come on", Alec continued, grabbing his boyfriend's hand as he saw he was about to protest further, "I want to see how on earth they plan to fit over two hundred people in a chapel". If Alec stopped to think, he might have noticed that his fascination with the chapel was probably just a way of distracting himself from thinking about the fact that he was about to walk hand-in-hand with his boyfriend into a room full of people.

As it turned out, the chapel was a lot bigger than Alec had imagined it would be. To start with, there were no pews. Instead, round tables seating ten were placed around the spacious room. The buffet ran along one side of the room, with further booths behind it, while a bar was placed at the far end next to (an admittedly tiny) dance floor. Alec was pleasantly surprised. On top of the abundance of room, the architecture was beautiful. He could tell the ceiling was supported by a series of arches; the ceiling was almost like a child's drawing of a hill in its shape, the slope making the room look even more spacious. It was beautifully decorated, a fact which was only emphasised by the soft purple lighting that lit up the archways. It was safe to say that Alec was impressed.

He was glad to see that this early in the evening, the room wasn't very full and people were too busy talking to their friends to notice who came in with whom. He appreciated the opportunity to find a table and relax before, inevitably, his boyfriend dragged him to go and dance. Alec wasn't particularly surprised to find that Jace was dragging them to the table closest to the buffet. He was, however, surprised to see the massive grin on Will's face and the dishevelled way his suit jacket fit when he finally walked into the room 30 minutes later. He had only just slid into a seat next to Jace when the teasing started.

"Good day was it Will?" Even Alec could hear the suggestion that laced his boyfriend's tone, and was impressed by the fact that Will managed to not blush. He knew that if it was him he would be a thousand shades of red by now.

"Fantastic Magnus".

Alec could see that Magnus was gearing up to continue the teasing and was more than relieved when Jace decided to pipe up. "Okay, okay enough with the gossiping I've waited for this prima donna long enough. Time to eat".

As they all stood up, Alec made sure to hang at the back, quickly grabbing Will's hand to make him wait for a second. He saw the confused look Magnus gave him, but this was a moment he had to have with his friend. He took a minute to really look at Will, to see the lightness in his eyes that he hadn't even noticed had been missing for a long time.

"So what really put you in such a good mood?" Alec had a fairly good idea about what it would be, but he wanted to hear it from Will himself. He didn't know it was possible, but he could swear that Will's smile grew even more.

"I love Jem, Jem loves me."

Alec smiled in return as he squeezed his friend's shoulder lightly. "I'm so glad you're happy Will".

Will gave him a gentle smile in return. "You know Alec; you're a little butterfly. You're like a new person with a happiness and a confidence I've never seen you with before. Never lose it", he added as he pulled Alec into an unexpected hug.

Once they had pulled apart, Alec found himself unexpectedly upset. It was in an attempt to lighten the mood that Alec found himself saying: "I take it from the state of your jacket that you two did more than kiss today?" It was the scandalised look on Will's face, more than anything else, which had Alec chuckling all the way over to where he could see his boyfriend next to the buffet.

"Is everything okay?"

The concern in his boyfriend's voice made Alec want to kiss him. So he did. It was only a brief kiss on the cheek, but the radiant smile his boyfriend gave him drowned out the slight whispering that came from the other people near the food. He knew now that by the time the night was up everyone would know he was gay, but in that moment he couldn't really bring himself to care. They may have been whispering but they sounded more surprised than hostile, and Alec found himself surprisingly okay with that. After all, it was the same level of surprise that half the school treated his sister to when they learnt that she was dating Simon.

"Everything's great", Alec replied as he stacked his plate with some mini burgers and sausage and egg sandwiches.

Honestly, he could kiss whoever chose the food for this ball; at least he would actually be eating this time. He shuddered as he thought back to the food served on his prom night, all these weird mini quiches and aubergine-pastry things that most 16 year olds wouldn't have been interested in. He still remembered the midnight detour to some random kebab shop that his mum had to do with him, Jace and Will just so they could eat that night.

As they made their way back to their table, Jace already working his way through the mountain of food he had collected, neither of them mentioned the kiss or the resulting whispers. It didn't take long for them to finish their food, but Alec wished it was longer. After all, the quicker they ate, the sooner he would be forced to dance. He wasn't sure if he was ready for that.

However, as it turned out, dancing was the least of his worries. Throughout their meal, they had seen a steady stream of people heading into a far corner of the room and Magnus insisted that they go and check it out. Really, Alec was disappointed that he hadn't guessed what the massive queue really was, and by the time they had walked up to the large photo booth, Magnus only had to look at him with his excited eyes for him to agree to use it. This was how Alec found himself wasting half an hour waiting for the blasted thing to be empty.

 _At least it's free_ , he thought to himself.

Before he knew it, it was their turn and they were spilling into the booth and pulling the curtain shut.

"Oh look! Alec, there's props".

Alec internally groaned. _Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse._

"Fine", he heard himself saying. "But the fourth one has to be nice; no props and no silly faces. Okay?"

"Deal", his boyfriend excitedly cried out as he pulled out a rainbow wig and oversized, star-shaped glasses that he forced on Alec's face. The first photo actually turned out okay, but it went downhill from there. They only had a set amount of seconds to change props, and the two of them were laughing uncontrollably as they attempted to get what they wanted out of the box. Alec wasn't even sure if he managed to get the nice photo he wanted, though he did recollect having Magnus kiss his cheek at one point.

It was only when they got out the booth and saw the printed photos that they realised how badly they had managed to muck the photos up.

The first one was actually quite nice; Magnus was in his colourful wig beaming at the camera while Alec was in a golden pair of glasses looking slightly perplexed at the appearance. The second one however was the worst of the photos. They had completely mistimed the transition period, and as a result all you could see was Alec fumbling to put a Viking hat on whilst Magnus was leaning over him trying to pull a pink feather boa out of the box. They hadn't managed to change props for the third photo, but they still weren't looking at the camera. Magnus had only just managed to pull the contraption out, and as such was too busy trying to compose himself, while Alec was just sat there laughing at him. But the fourth photo was beautiful. As promised there were no props, no stupid faces. Instead, Alec sat happily beaming at the camera, laughter still evident in his eyes, as Magnus wrapped an arm around his shoulders and kissed him on the cheek.

"You know", Alec said as he pointed the picture out to his boyfriend, "I think this has to be my favourite photo ever". He was standing so close to Magnus that he could feel the other teenager's small chuckle.

"Yes I do love that one".

"And I love you", Alec replied seriously.

"Enough to come and dance with me?"

Alec groaned in frustration as his boyfriend dragged him away to the dance floor; he knew it wouldn't take long before Magnus got what he wanted. There weren't any slow songs playing and Magnus seemed to know that Alec just didn't have the confidence to jump around to the faster beat, so they just swayed to their own beat; Magnus' arms wrapped around his shoulders while Alec wrapped his around Magnus' waist. His heart was already beating rapidly because of the close proximity, but he could have sworn that his heart almost stopped altogether as his boyfriend rested their foreheads together and whispered an 'I love you too' into the little space between them.

In that moment, nothing else mattered. They weren't surrounded by people, they weren't about to go to different universities. They were just Alec and Magnus. It had taken a lot of work for them to get where they were, and honestly there were times when Alec thought that they weren't going to make it. But they had, and now Alec knew that he shouldn't worry about what was to come. They were both going to study in London, and both Will and Jace would only be a train journey away. They had fought and fallen out and cried, but they have also loved, and laughed and joked. They were friends and partners and now Alec had everything he had denied himself for so long, had spent so long believing he would never find. Life wouldn't be easy; it never was. But Alec didn't care. He had love and friendship, and nothing else was needed.


	28. Chapter 28- Missing Scene (Magnus)

**A/N-** This occurs after chapter 24, but before chapter 25.

* * *

Magnus groaned as he heard his shrill ringtone. Although everything had been alright in the end, he had found yesterday's dinner very stressful and ended up having the worst stress headache he'd ever had. Consequently, he hadn't fallen asleep until gone three AM and was now being disturbed when he could have done with sleeping until late in the afternoon.

His limbs moved slowly as he reached an arm out of the warm cocoon of duvet to pick up the still ringing contraption. He squinted blearily at the bright screen to try and figure out the time and had to resist the urge to scream out in frustration. He usually loved it when his boyfriend phoned him, just not at 7:30 in the morning when he had had hardly any sleep.

"Urgh". He supposed he should have greeted Alec properly but he was tired and achy and just wanted to sleep. His boyfriend's answering chuckle only served to put a deep frown on his face.

"Good morning", he could practically hear the smile on Alec's face.

"Why are you so chipper? More importantly, why are you awake?" You couldn't really blame Magnus for being curt; he was NOT a morning person.

"I remember a deal being struck yesterday; I wanted to know what the arrangements were".

Magnus was confused for a second before he remembered Alec feeling guilty about not knowing he had got a job and him joking that he would bring Alec to his house today to tell him about himself. He hadn't been serious when he offered, and he was strangely touched that Alec really wanted to spend the entire day learning about him. He was still mildly irritated at being woken up so early, but he decided he would try to be a bit more polite to the sweet boy who cared about him more than most other people had.

"So you decided to ring me at 7:30 instead of at a more sociable hour like most normal people would?" He would be more polite, but that didn't mean he wouldn't tease the other teen a little.

There was a pause on the other side of the phone, and Magnus momentarily thought that maybe he had taken the teasing too far and had upset Alec. He was just about to apologise when a thoughtful yet apprehensive voice beat him to it.

"I was excited".

Magnus could hear the apology in his tone, and those three words made him swoon. He had known that he was in love with Alec for a little while, but he swore that in that moment he fell just a little more. He wondered for a second, whether he would ever stop falling. He hoped not.

"I was only teasing Alec. I'm glad you want to spend the day with me; I'm not much of a morning person. How about you come over in two hours? That way I'll have enough time to wake up a bit and get ready. I'll text you my address okay?"

"Yep that's great, I'll see you then".

Magnus bit his cheek as he thought about what to reply. Heck he knew what he wanted to say. He had wanted to say those three words every day since they said them on the slide at the park. He couldn't describe what it felt like to say them. It was like everything that had ever brought him down had disappeared. He felt a happiness he had never experienced before, but also a strange protectiveness. When he tells Alec that he loves him, he feels all the care he has for the other, the desire to let him know how loved he is. And when Alec says it back, he swears his heart bursts just a little; because in that moment, he is pure sunlight. So Magnus goes ahead and says what he wants to, secure in the knowledge that Alec will say it back and mean every word.

"I love you Alec".

"I love you too".

He could practically feel Alec's comfort wrap around him with those words. "I'll see you in a bit".

Once he hangs up, he puts his phone back on the bedside table after texting Alec and flops back onto the soft mattress, shutting his eyes. He only meant to rest for half an hour so he could shower and dress and fit in a quick breakfast before Alec arrived. However, when he next opened his eyes, he panicked to find that he only had thirty minutes before his boyfriend was supposed to be there.

Magnus ran into the bathroom next to his room. He brushed his teeth and washed his face as quickly as possible before he jumped in the shower, thankful that he washed his hair yesterday and didn't need to do it again. Instead, he went through his routine of washing, exfoliating and moisturising as quickly as possible. As it was, he still spent 20 minutes in the bathroom and he had no idea what he was going to wear.

He wrapped the large, fluffy towel around his waist and headed back into his bedroom to look through his wardrobe. He knew they were only staying in, but in Magnus' book that was no excuse to be lazy with his clothes. That being said, he still chose the only pair of slightly baggy jeans that he owned; after all, if they're going to sit down all day he might as well do it comfortably. And even these jeans were tighter than all the pairs he had ever seen Alec in. The top was more difficult for him. The style of the jeans meant that anything too smart would just look ridiculous, and anything too casual would look like he hadn't put any effort in at all. He didn't have many items of clothing that would fit in between. In the end, he decided to settle for a scarlet jumper that was tight enough to look smart, but not too tight so as to be uncomfortable.

When he looked at the phone again it was 9:35, and he knew without having to go downstairs, that Alec would be there, he was always punctual. Magnus decided to open his door and walk out into the corridor. Pausing at the top of the stairs, he could hear the faint murmuring of voices. He wasn't sure what Alec and his Mum were talking about, but he knew that he didn't want to leave them alone together for too long.

He quickly went back into his room and brushed his hair, for once leaving it without hair gel or glitter. On his way out he paused and looked in his mirror. It would be the first time that Alec would see him without his makeup on, and he wasn't sure how he felt about that. All he knew is that he didn't want to keep Alec waiting any longer.

He made his way down the stairs slowly, and as he reached the bottom two he could finally hear what his Mum and Alec were talking about.

"...don't know what he's told you?"

"A little bit. He told me he's adopted. I'm not too sure I should say what else he told me, I don't know if he's told you".

Magnus' heart skipped a beat, and he was once again struck by his boyfriend's thoughtfulness. He knew he could trust Alec, but this just proved it 100%. Magnus didn't dwell too much on this as he had already lost the train of the conversation.

"...don't want to see him get hurt again".

"He won't I promise. I love him Ma'am, and if I have to tell him every day to make sure he believes me, then I guess that's just what I'll have to do."

Tears began to gather in his eyes and Magnus had to block out the conversation before it became obvious that he had been eavesdropping. Once he was satisfied that he no longer looked as emotional as he felt, he padded towards the kitchen.

"Alec, I'm sorry to keep you waiting I fell back asleep and didn't wake up. Morning Mum", he added as he went to kiss her on the cheek before wrapping his boyfriend in a hug. And if he happened to hug him a little tighter than he usually did, well he was the only one who knew why.

"Oh, I'm an afterthought now, am I?" His mother's teasing broke through his reverie. "Keep this one", she added playfully; "he's a lot nicer to me than you are".

"Alec no trying to steal my mum".

"But she gave me cookies."

"Mum no trying to steal my boyfriend".

He may have sounded reproachful, but really Magnus was happy that the two most important people in his life got along. He would have hated it if they couldn't stand to be in the same room as each other. Instead, he saw the way his mum smiled as he called Alec his boyfriend while the latter blushed an alarming shade of red. It was only when he glanced back at his boyfriend that he saw the white bag that sat in front of him on the table.

"What's this?"

Alec beamed at him in response. "I brought snacks."

When Magnus looked in the bag, it seemed that buffet was probably a more suitable word than "snacks". There were several packets of crisps, biscuits and sweets but also healthier options; tubs of prepared fruit and vegetables with several dips.

"By snack did you mean feast?"

"Well you did say you'd keep me here for the day, I had to come prepared! If you're nice to me, I might even share it with you".

The two shared a quick smile before Magnus asked Alec if he wanted to come upstairs. Magnus was walking a couple of steps ahead of the blue eyed boy, and only realised this mistake once he had reached the top of the stairs and heard Alec let out a quick burst of laughter. He knew before he had turned around what photo Alec was looking at.

"This is possibly the cutest photo I have ever seen. Magnus you were so adorable, how old were you?"

"Seven. Someone had told me my eyes sometimes looked a lot like a cat's so that's what I decided I'd be for Halloween. Mum did the face paint herself and even made me the ears and a tail. We, um, didn't have much money to spare on a costume so we couldn't really buy anything. But I was happy."

Magnus was ashamed of himself for feeling embarrassed when he confessed this to Alec. He knew it was nothing to be embarrassed about, never once had he been ashamed of the life he and his mum had. He was never embarrassed about not having as much money as the other kids or getting to do as many things as they did. He always knew that his mum worked hard for the money they had, and that was something to be proud of. They got by, and he knew he was luckier than other people; if his mum wanted to get him something nice she could, it just took a while to save up and quite a bit of holiday work from himself. But he was okay with that. He just didn't know why now, in front of the person who he trusted completely and had shown him nothing but love and kindness, he felt embarrassed. Maybe because he had seen the way Alec had lived? He clearly never had to worry about money, and maybe a small, insecure part of him worried that Alec would judge him for having less. Realistically, he knew Alec would never do that, but Magnus had spent so long trying to hide his insecurities that he had never fully dealt with them, and as a result they tended to resurface at unexpected times.

Magnus could see that Alec had noticed the embarrassment in his voice because he watched as his boyfriend climbed the last couple of steps up the stairs to stand next to him.

"Home-made or not I still think it's the cutest thing I've ever seen. Don't ever be embarrassed about your life Magnus. Every little thing about it came together to make you who you are. And you know what you have that so many people don't? A parent who adores you, does everything they can for you and still spends time with you. You can't put a price on that; you're rich where so many people are poor."

There was nothing Magnus could say in response, so he just leant in and kissed him. He'd lost track of how many times they had kissed; slow kisses filled with longing, quick hellos or teasing caresses. No matter how many they shared he always felt a spark go through him, as if he was right where he was supposed to be.

He was reluctant to pull away, but the two of them couldn't spend all day stood in the hallway so he took Alec's hand and led him to his bedroom. He didn't say anything as the two of them stepped inside, watching as his boyfriend took in his surroundings.

"Damn that is one huge beanbag".

Magnus was surprised enough to laugh at his boyfriend's exclamation. "I guess I know your seat of choice for today."

"My seat", Alec was incredulous when he responded. "That beast is big enough for the both of us I think."

'The beast' that Alec referred to was a faux-fur circular bean bag. Yes, it was rather large, but Magnus was 16 when he bought it after having his first summer job. His mother was not happy that he had spent almost £100 on a chair, but he had worked 5 or 6 days a week during that summer and he thought he deserved to treat himself. It was cream and the only thing that his tall frame could fit in with room to spare. Alec was right, it probably would fit both of them, but it would be a tight fit. Then again, why would he complain about that? It gave him the perfect excuse to cuddle up close with his boyfriend.

"Our seat it is then", he replied with a smirk and a wink once he realised that Alec didn't really think he would agree to that. He collapsed gracefully onto the furniture and watched Alec as he waited for him to join him, pulling him close once he finally did. They sat like that for a while, Magnus' arm draped over Alec's shoulders while the latter rested his head on Magnus' chest with an arm around his waist. Eventually, Magnus decided that they should start with the mission that brought Alec here.

"So, what would you like to know? You can ask me anything you want."

"Anything?" Magnus could hear the incredulity in his voice. "Are you sure? I don't want to make you uncomfortable".

He gave his boyfriend's shoulders a little squeeze. "I've already told you the things that are most personal to me; I don't mind talking about anything else."

"I just don't want you to feel like you have to answer."

"That's exactly why you can ask me whatever you want; I know you won't force me if I refuse to answer. So, fire away".

It was silent as Alec thought about what he wanted to know. However, Magnus was content to wait, especially as Alec kept tracing patterns on his side. It had only been a couple of minutes when Alec's questioning broke the silence.

"You said you spent a couple of years in foster homes; do you remember anything about them?"

"Not really. I do remember the day I moved in with mum, though. I was terrified but excited; I didn't speak a word to her in the car I was that nervous. I remember thinking this house was massive; especially because it was the first time I had ever had my own bedroom. I still remember being disappointed that all the walls were white, but she said she didn't know what colours I liked and that she would take me shopping the next day and we could spend the weekend decorating. That was the best weekend of my life, and it was only after those couple of days that I let her hug me. It's still one of my favourite memories".

When Magnus stopped talking he looked down to see Alec watching him with a small smile and genuine happiness in his eyes. He could only watch as Alec scrutinised his face, his smile only increasing as his blue eyes darted from his eyes to his hair and down to his lips. Magnus blushed as he remembered that this was the first time that Alec was going to see him without his makeup and he suddenly felt self-conscious. He pushed it down as Alec continued to look at him as if he was something precious.

Alec maintained eye contact as he asked his next question.

"Why do you wear makeup?"

Magnus had been asked that many times in his life, and he always refused to answer. The people who asked were usually trying to ridicule him, were trying to argue that he shouldn't be wearing it. They asked him with voices full of scorn, but Alec was different. When he asked, he asked out of nothing but curiosity. And if Magnus was being honest, Alec's curiosity was forcing Magnus to think very hard about why he didwear makeup.

"That's a tricky question. I started wearing it when I was thirteen, only occasionally though. I think at first it was the colour that drew me to it; it was an opportunity to express myself. But, I guess as I got older I started to wear it a bit more. When I was 16 I always put it on before I went to work or out to a party. I still used it to express myself, I like to think of makeup as an art form really, but I think it took on another meaning for me. It's hard to explain, but it makes me feel more confident around people. When I wear it, it's like they're not really looking _at me_. There's this barrier between me and them, and it gives me the confidence I found hard to gather. Eventually, makeup became a combination of expression, pride and confidence and I hardly go anywhere without it".

"You know", Alec began slowly and bashfully, with a light blush on his pale cheeks. "I think you look beautiful without it, and...if, you know, you find you can't be bothered to put it on one day when you're with me, then uh, I hope you know that you don't **have** to. But if you want to wear it I won't tell you not to, I just want to make sure you don't feel like you have to".

Magnus smiled down at his boyfriend before kissing him on the forehead. Could his boyfriend **be** any cuter?

"I know sweetheart, I like to wear it. But if I ever feel like I can't be bothered, I'll remember what you said. I ran out of time this morning, I fell asleep and didn't wake up in time. I'm not really a morning person."

He could feel, as well as hear, Alec's replying laughter. "Yes I gathered that much".

"Okay early bird, what other questions do you have for me?"

Alec pursed his lips. "What made you want to study fashion? I mean, besides the love of clothes, what drives you to be a designer."

"You're really making me dig deep today Alec, are you sure that my mother hasn't hired you as a therapist?" He paused while Alec chuckled and pulled him a little closer. "Clothes aren't just pieces of fabric; people wear them for a reason. For example, I use my clothes to make me happy. I like bright colours and glitter, so I wear what I like. You, on the other hand (correct me if I'm wrong), seem to use your clothes as a shield. You wear things you think will help you blend in and hide in the background. You say you don't care about clothes, and to a certain extent, that is true; you don't care for spending large amounts of money on getting clothes considered to be 'in fashion'. What you _do_ care about is the function that your clothes serve- you deliberately pick items that serve your purpose. That is why I want to design clothes; people rely on them, sometimes emotionally, more than they realise and I wanted to make sure that everyone could, even if it is just for a moment, have something that made them truly comfortable".

Alec was clearly thinking about what Magnus said, the fact that he had never considered _why_ he bought certain clothes clearly having never been considered by the blue-eyed boy before."That's...wow. I've never thought about that before".

There was a slight pause as Alec looked up at Magnus with a sheepish look, slight pleading making his blue eyes shine. Magnus knew what Alec was going to ask, and he also knew that he wouldn't be able to say no.

"Do you have another design I can see? Please?"

Instead of answering, Magnus simply got up and went to the bottom draw on his desk where his portfolio was sitting. He quickly flipped to a page near the back before he handed it to Alec. He was quite proud of this shirt and (although he wouldn't tell Alec until he knew whether the other liked it or not) it was inspired by him. It was a button up shirt which Magnus had coloured a dark cyan – with more blue but clear hints of green. However, what really made the shirt stand out was that the collar was a pastel orange. So was the inside of the shirt sleeve, which left it to the individual to decide how much orange they wanted to show.

He stared nervously at his boyfriend as he studied the drawing, but before long (and before he could get too worried) he saw his boyfriend's gentle smile and he knew that it had gone down well.

"So, what's the judgement", he asked as he cuddled up to his boyfriend.

"I like it". As usual, Alec was straight to the point. "I think I might actually wear it, though perhaps not very often; and only on special occasions".

"Oh you beautiful man", Magnus exclaimed as he relaxed against the beanbag. He saw his boyfriend's confusion so started to explain why he was so relieved. "It's part of my portfolio for the foundation diploma I was telling you about. One of the themes I decided to do was spring; the colours and the flowers make it my favourite time of year. Part of the criteria is to show how you've developed your designs and, well this one stems from you. I had done most of the work and then I met you and the comfort you take from dark shades and I noticed that everything I had drawn was geared towards me. Everything was bold and colourful; bright pinks and reds or floral patterns. But the whole reason I got into fashion was so that everyone could have something that brought them comfort. So I sat down and thought about how I could bring the bright colours of spring to combine with dark blues and black. So the fact that you said you would wear it shows that at least this design is right".

"You'll be fantastic. When do you hear if you've been accepted?"

"Well if they like the work I've already sent them, then they'll ask me to go to the college to look at my whole portfolio and I'll have to talk about one of my projects. I might do the pieces of work you inspired actually. And then I should know by the middle of April".

"You'll do it, I know you will. I'm touched you've based some of your work on me".

"Well, I'm hoping that since I love _you_ some of that passion will come across in the work and interview."

The two of them shared a quick laugh as Magnus got up and put the portfolio carefully back in the drawer. It was only then that he realised that it was almost midday, and having skipped breakfast he was already hungry. As he passed the bed, he picked up the bag of snacks and brought it over to where Alec was sitting. The speed with which he opened it and picked up a bag of salted crisps suggested that he was just as hungry.

There was enough food in the bag which meant that it lasted several hours as they continued to talk as they ate, Alec asking Magnus about his past jobs and which was his favourite. The conversation only paused twice; once when his mum had to go to work and came up to let them know there were some pizzas in the fridge that they just had to put in the oven and then again when they (Alec repeatedly denied starting it) got into a hummus fight with the carrot sticks that Alec had brought. The two of them were laughing so much that conversation became impossible, but Magnus didn't care. He could already see that maybe he and Alec could spend the rest of their lives together, and if that was true then they had all the time in the world to learn about each other.

Once they had calmed down enough and the snacks were gone, the two of them continued to talk into the late evening. It seemed that Alec had exhausted all his soul-searching questions and had moved on to more trivial ones like where Magnus had always wanted to go and what colour he would be. By 7pm he had even ran out of the trivial questions and the two teenagers decided to cook the pizza and watch a film instead.

"Um, Alec it's going to be late after we finish watching this, so...I was wondering if you wanted to stay the night?"

Even Magnus could hear how uncharacteristically nervous he was when he asked this, could feel the rare blush on his cheeks. His nerves only heightened when Alec stood there in a shocked silence.

"You don't have to if you don't want to", Magnus hastily clarified. "But if you do, we don't have to do anything we could just hug? Or if you don't want to do that I have an inflatable mattress we could use?"

It was alarming really, how quickly he had turned into Alec. Magnus hardly ever rambled but he was always weary abut pushing Alec too far. However, it seemed that he needn't have worried as while he was internally breaking down Alec had walked towards him and wrapped his arms around his waist.

"I would love to stay here. I, um I'm not ready for...you know..." It really was adorable, thought Magnus, the way Alec would just flap a hand about rather than say the word 'sex'. "But, I, uh I think that maybe hugging would be nice".

The smile Magnus wore hurt his face, but he didn't care. It would be the first time that Alec would stay the night (hopefully the first of many).

"Hugging it is".

Later that night, after Alec had texted his mum to let her know that he was staying and Magnus had rooted around in his wardrobe to find the only pair of tracksuit bottoms he didn't know he owned, the two of them lay side by side on the bed, Magnus resting his head on Alec's chest. He was surprised at how quickly Alec had fallen asleep, even as the blue eyed teen tried to stay awake _._ The slow, steady breaths of his boyfriend and the even beating of his heart was probably the most comforting thing Magnus had ever heard. In that moment, being held by the man he loved, nothing bothered Magnus; neither the persistent doubt about whether his portfolio would be good enough nor the fact that he had yet to make amends with Will. There wasn't anything he could do about the former, and he wasn't too concerned about the latter; he hoped that the reconciliation between Alec and Will meant that there would be hope for him too.

It was that night, as he drifted off to sleep that he promised himself he would try to build a friendship with Will once school started again. With the promise made, he fell asleep in the comfort that, for once, the loneliness he had tried so hard to get rid off had disappeared.

* * *

 **A/N-** I can't believe we've reached the end! Thank you to everyone who has read this, I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. However, as sad as I am to let it go, I'm really excited for the next story. It's going to be called 'Lock and Key' and as a crime/mystery story, it's very different to this one.


End file.
